This advice really applies to all walks of life. If you're running a start-up (mine is gopaperbox.com), this is how you should treat your customers. More than likely there is someone that does something similar to you. The best way to win is to treat your customer with the utmost respect and be as fair as possible to them. Cliche advice, yes, but it is absolutely integral to success.
Don't be a jerk
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Re: Don't be a jerk
#12It seems like this is an instance of a more general trend: The commenting ecosystem is in decline. It's better than Reddit, but it's a shadow of what it once was.
I've noticed downvotes are trending now. The downvotes do correct themselves... most of the time. But there's a lot more frivolous downvoting due to the influx of people that have attained downvote privileges but haven't really shunned the mindset of other community sites that encourage that sort of thing. Eight years ago, pg wrote about a problem that may be happening here now: http://www.reddit.com/r/reddit.com/comments/15n2/the_incontr...
It used to be that you could hold a contrarian opinion and not be at risk of being jumped on by the community or your position being misinterpreted. That seems no longer the case: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=8143432
The person you responded to may have deleted their question because they're worried about how people might judge them for merely asking the question. Since HN consists of people you may be working with in the future, people have to be more concerned about choosing their words (and questions) carefully. It's not so easy to just speak your mind or ask innocent questions anymore when your identity is tied with your handle.
I don't know if there's a solution. There may not be another vibrant community of developers for another decade, for the same reason there isn't a second vibrant online auctioning site. Smart people are on HN because other smart people are on HN. The only solution I can think of is to resist letting irksome things irk you. Easier said than done, but it beats giving up.
Re: Don't be a jerk
#13I took the time to email someone about a specific problem and didn't hear back - how long does it take to hit reply and type "Thx"? The effects are corrosive: why should I bother to reply next time ?
I will confess to being someone that often forgets to say thanks. My thought process runs something like "Gosh, that was really helpful, I should say thankyou. But thankyou isn't enough, I should think of a better way of saying thankyou." Then I forget to say anything at all for some time, and then I feel awkward because I left it so long to say thankyou.
That's not an excuse. It's a total failure that I forget to say thank you properly whenever it's deserved (and even when it's not). It's something I am working hard to fix, but I still frequently mess up.
Re: Don't be a jerk
#14Life's too short; do things for your own edification and satisfaction, not for the praise or recognition of others.
Re: Don't be a jerk
#15Some people are jerks. Some people are too frazzled to remember good manners. Some people were raised by wolves and aren't even familiar with the concept of manners. I don't expect people to say thank you when I answer a question. I used to, but that expectation was beaten out of me a long time ago. But I definitely appreciate it — it's a nice surprise — when someone does bother to say thank you, and I try to remembe…
Ugh. It hurts to hear/read it, but it's true - common courtesy is now "a surprise."
If I didn't say "please" or "thank you" every single time it was called for, my mother would have taken me out of this world (you know, since she brought me in to it) years ago.
Re: Don't be a jerk
#16Maybe they didn't like your answer. Maybe they didn't like their own question, which is why they deleted it. Maybe they'll upvote you instead of saying thanks. Maybe they aren't around to give a thanks reply or forget about it. Or maybe they just don't care.
You're not completely out of touch, but it's unfair to put conditions on your answers. I recommend letting your kind deeds be their own reward and get on with your day.
Re: Don't be a jerk
#17I usually check the ask section so I can read answers from you, patio11 and a few others. You have helped me a lot and I learned a big deal of interesting and helpful things. That said, thank you.
Re: Don't be a jerk
#18I know I've had times when the answer/response made me look dumb, arrogant, etc, and I've been tempted to delete my comment. In those cases, it wouldn't have been the jerk thing to do, but the cowardly thing to do: if you say, own it, regardless of how it makes you look.
In times like that I always try to evaluate whether I'm doing/thinking something out of fear. If yes, then I have to go against the fear. It's the only way to eventually get better.
Also that whole thing about the best way of finding good answers on the internet is not to ask questions, but to post wrong answers. I use that one a lot. It makes me look like an idiot, but golly do I learn a lot fast.
Re: Don't be a jerk
#19Maybe I'm doing something wrong but HN doesn't notify me when someone responds or something like other communication platforms do. If and when someone responds to a question on here I assume they are not ever going to check it again. I know I almost never do. The only exception is if there's sort of a conversation going on with responses every few minutes. Once it's been a few hours, or god forbid the next day, I'm highly unlikely to go back.
Also, if it's a 1on1 discussion with someone via e-mail, skype, or some form of private message, I'll almost always say thank you. But if I put a question up on an open forum and one or more persons happen to respond I tend not to say thanks. I dunno why, it just doesn't seem to be common internet etiquette to do so. A quick google search on a couple big name technical help question sites shows that it's not very common for people to say thanks for open ended questions to the community.
Re: Don't be a jerk
#20> People - don't be a jerk. If you ask a question and someone answers, say thank you. They've taken the time, does it cost you too much to be polite?
this is why i am in the habit of top-quoting my replies if i put any effort or thought into it. when people are wrong, embarassed, or let something slip they shouldn't have, they're likely to delete. it's just human nature.