I have a soul-crushing job and I don't know what to do

When I was first getting started, I just looked up every web design firm in town and called them. A lot of the local firms just had people building websites with Wordpress or Joomla on managed hosting services, so being able to say "I know a guy that writes custom code" was good for their business. In a bigger city, there's a lot more coders, but there's also a lot more businesses, so I would think this would work just about anywhere.

There's a business incubator nearby that I frequented, and I found companies there that were using technologies that I knew. If you run into a collective like this, it's a good idea to introduce yourself to administrators, because they're always looking to solve their member companies problems with a suggestion. I introduced myself and let them know my skill set. The companies always found themselves in a pinch eventually, and I built a reputation for going into the middle of a project and helping to put out fires.

I would take strategic walks through areas where I knew there were technology companies, and just walk in and introduce myself.

Events are even better. If you can find business speakers at a local college, or business networking groups, these are great to go and find out what types of problems people have. Then you can come up with solutions and go back and try to sell them. You shouldn't even try to code anything, just pitch them your solution and tell them you'll build it for $X, get a down payment and start coding.

Sounds like you are in an average, ordinary job, where they pay less and expect more. A lot of these places are revolving doors, working people to the bone until they quit. Then they bring in the next sucker.

Good jobs are out there, but you have to be good and you have to sell yourself. So, two things:

1. Become exceptional at what you do. This is the idea that "follow your passion" is bad advice. Instead, become exceptional at your craft, and you will automatically enjoy what you do, and you will have access to better and better opportunities. Typically you end up doing more of what you enjoy, making more money, and working less than you did at the sucker-farm job. On this point, I'll say that every single time I made progress toward becoming exceptional, I did not set out to "learn Rails" or whatever. I set out to do something fun or interesting or hard, and in the course of hammering out 1000 details to make it happen, I learned a ton. Equally important is being around other people who are exceptional. You gain the experience of a dozen people in a short period of time. It's very high value that you can't get coding like a hermit in your parent's basement. You will learn things that you could never learn on your own, like the importance of communication. If you can't communicate effectively with your coworkers, you can't be exceptional. There are 100 things like this that you will learn just from hanging around other exceptional people, how they think, what books they read, some key distinction they know (that you don't know) that will change your life. My jump from an average paying job to a much higher paying job was the direct result of an exceptional friend describing his approach to interviewing.

2. Learn to sell yourself. Most employers are out to get the most work for the least expense. They are actively fighting on their own behalf to make this happen, at your expense. This is how people end up at the sucker-farm jobs. If you don't fight on your behalf, no one else will. It's only you and the employer in the interview, and the employer certainly is not going to be generous for no reason. You have to persuade them.

There are two good resources. One is "So Good They Can't Ignore You: Why Skills Trump Passion in the Quest for Work You Love" by Cal Newport. The other is "Pitch Anything" by Oren Klaff. While you probably will never need to pitch anything to investors, you absolutely need to be able to pitch yourself to potential employers if you want to escape the average workplace sucker-farm.

Here is a great interview with Oren Klaff: http://youtu.be/fXavS_IY42A

Ramit Sethi has a course, "How To Find Your Dream Job". Like most of his stuff, I expect it is pricey. You can probably find most of what he teaches for free (if you define "free" as doing your own research for many hours per week for a year or two). Here's how I look at his stuff in your situation. If I could pay $1000 and go from miserable to enjoying work and life, forever, is that worth it? I'd say yes. If you are serious about reworking your life, you will pay for this many times over. He has a ton of free material available, so you can see if you like his style before making an investment.

Well, currently I am more interested rambling around different things. Recently, I created a whistle detector in JS[1] and it was quite an effort since it involved comprehending a research paper and learning & implementing DSP concepts but I enjoyed it. So, I more interested in creating small challenging things rather than Apps in XYZ framework.

Its not that I hate the latter but simply that after initial excitement of code, it is hard to keep up the enthusiasm. What I wish to know is are employers focused to find the right skill set with right experience when they want hire?

[1]: http://coffeecoder.net/whistlerr/

I was in a similar position until finally leaving my job this February. I am not a programmer, I was actually an investment banker, but I know what it feels like to work in a soul sucking job and feel helpless. The trouble is, like you said, you get stuck in such a job to "buy time" - for me it was to make some money to pay back student loans - but unless you know exactly what you want to do next or you are actively searching for it, the time gets away from you. It becomes a virtuous cycle - the longer you are in a job like that, the harder it is to leave. Here is my 5 step guide to figuring out what the hell you want to do and getting out of a job you hate:

Step 1: Like aurelius said below, the first step is figuring out what the hell you want to do, what you care about. This part has nothing to do with your skill set or which frameworks you should learn, it has to do with finding a mission you believe in. For me, the epiphany was realizing I needed to find my mission. I woke up in the middle of the night gasping because I realized that I had been in a job I hated for over 4 years and all along I knew that I wanted to start a company. I was buying time, but instead of a year or two as I originally planned, it was 4+.

The next day I decided to explore every business idea I had ever jotted down. I started reading voraciously about every sector of tech I found interesting. I started studying the history of venture capital. Finally, I was getting on a plane to New York for a dinner with one of my clients and as fortune would have it, in the airport I stumbled upon up a book called, "Makers: The New Industrial Revolution." Half way through my flight after ripping through the first 150 or so pages, I realized that 3D printing/digital fabrication was where I wanted to spend my time. I was convinced that this was going to change the world in a big way and I wanted to be a part of it.

I think this search process takes time and is different for everyone, but I'd be willing to bet that the more effort you put into actively searching for what you want to do, the luckier you'll be.

Step 2: Once you know what you want to do, you have to accept that you are going to have to sacrifice your free time to make it happen. But here's the kicker - since you've found something that you're passionate about, it doesn't feel like a sacrifice!

I'm not sure whether you meant that you're working 8 hours a day and only coding 2, but if that is the case, you have plenty of time left in the day to go after your newfound passion. Personally, I started going to every after work meetup (and some during the day too) in the Bay Area in the digital fabrication space, introducing myself in person, over twitter or over email to anyone who would give me the time of day. I also kept reading as much as I could on digital fab and on startups. Next I started putting together specs, a powerpoint deck, a business model canvas and talking to friends who had started businesses before. The point is start soaking up as much knowledge as possible and moving the ball forward in any way you can. Maybe that is setting up informational interviews with professionals in whatever area you want to get into. Maybe that is taking One Month Rails or Michael Hartl's RoR tutorial. The bottom line is, do something productive every single day.

Step 3: Put a date on the calendar you are going to quit by and tell people who matter so you can't back out. Honestly you'd be surprised how much this helps. Saying it out loud actually allows you to visualize walking out the door. Maybe more importantly, by telling other people, you are more likely to hold yourself accountable. You have to keep doing this too. The more you do it, the more comfortable it starts to feel.

For me that date was after I received my annual bonus. In investment banking that is basically half your pay so it would have been very difficult to leave when I was just a few months away from a big payday. I'm not sure what that date is for you. Maybe you had wanted to pay off your car later this year and need to wait until then. Maybe you hate your job so much that you want to quit next Friday. There is nothing wrong with either one. However, in my opinion, once you know what you want to do, the general rule of thumb is, the sooner you can quit the better. So if you wait, make sure it's for a good reason because it is very easy to make excuses.

Step 4: At this point you have identified the date you will be out the door and you continue to communicate that to your friends, family and mentors, so in the meantime, get yourself as prepared as you can for that date. That means some combination of giving up TV at night, waking up earlier, staying up later, giving up days during the weekend. Determine what skills you need for whatever is coming next and start acquiring them. Use your network - the beautiful thing is, once you know what you want to do and are committed to making it happen, you'll find that people will want to help you. Again, the mantra is progress every day. One day at a time.

Step 5: Jump. The truth is you will never be ready. At least not completely. But if you have something you are passionate about and are willing to commit yourself to, it will all be worth it. Consider the jump itself your first success. You will certainly have failures and more successes ahead of you, but that is the fun part ;)

Best of luck to ya. I have the utmost faith.

Thanks again! What would examples of business networking groups be? How did you you hear about business speakers?