How to turn small talk into smart conversation
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How to turn small talk into smart conversation
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Re: How to turn small talk into smart conversation
#2Or just be genuinely interested in people. Everybody has something interesting and if you dig you will find it.
If the goal is to make the conversation interesting/smart, it starts with great difficulty because what sounds interesting/smart to one may be just dull/stupid to another.
Most people may feel a little reluctant when someone else is digging, but that is only because they have grown an instinct to honestly disbelieve anyone may be truly interested in knowing them for nothing.
Since we can't worry how people feel about our little inquiries, we can only ask and be honestly interested in knowing more about others, discovering more.
Re: How to turn small talk into smart conversation
#3These suggestions are dreadful.
> Instead of 'Where are you from?' try 'What’s the strangest thing about where you grew up?'
> Instead of, 'Yes, it is a beautiful day!' try 'They say that the weather was just like this when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. If that actually happened.'
If the goal is to have a pleasant and interesting conversation, dropping non-sequiturs isn't going to get you there.
And this is advice for introverts? Many introverts I know would crash and burn using these lines -- they already struggle with being awkward without throwing out, “What would you like your name to mean?”
Re: How to turn small talk into smart conversation
#4Maybe the part with absurd answers could make some sense if done properly (however, mastering the usage of absurd is not easy - there's a thin line between being intriguing and pathetic), but if someone would use this "telling the story" questions during the conversation with me I'd just be annoyed - especially if that would be a stranger. That's some meaningless stuff where you don't even have any slightest idea of where to start when answering, unless you go into absurd as well, which may or may not be the way to go depending on your mood, person you're talking to, etc.
Re: How to turn small talk into smart conversation
#5These suggestions are dreadful. > Instead of 'Where are you from?' try 'What’s the strangest thing about where you grew up?' > Instead of, 'Yes, it is a beautiful day!' try 'They say that the weather was just like this when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. If that actually happened.' If the goal is to have a pleasant and interesting conversation, dropping non-sequiturs isn't going to get you there. And this is advic…
Yes, these sound almost as bad as pickup artist lines.
Re: How to turn small talk into smart conversation
#6> "They say that the weather was just like this when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. If that actually happened."
If your goal is to get instantly binned into the same category as 9/11 truthers, moon landing doubters, and holocaust deniers, this might be a good suggestion.
Re: How to turn small talk into smart conversation
#7If Gino responds to "It's hot today" with "In this dimension, yes." Beverley is most probably done talking to him, even if they both are all by themselves in a jacuzzi.
Re: How to turn small talk into smart conversation
#8Upvoted because the suggestions are so bad that they merit discussion.
As someone who, growing up, decided to break out of the introvert pattern by applying such non sequiturs as suggested, I can tell you truly that the only thing such a tactic will do is get you labelled as weird ;)
Also: “What’s your story?”
Sounds only one step removed from: "What's your problem?"
Re: How to turn small talk into smart conversation
#9Or just be genuinely interested in people. Everybody has something interesting and if you dig you will find it. If the goal is to make the conversation interesting/smart, it starts with great difficulty because what sounds interesting/smart to one may be just dull/stupid to another. Most people may feel a little reluctant when someone else is digging, but that is only because they have grown an instinct to honestly d…
Except for those who would genuinely want to be honestly interested in learning more, but ... aren't. Because wanting to be interested isn't the same as being interested, and it often shows - creating a conversational awkwardness that's even worse than it otherwise would have been.
Re: How to turn small talk into smart conversation
#10These will just show you are too much full of yourself and trying too hard to be funny.