Earlier quoted context omitted.
... which you can also do on platforms like digitalocean. Just spin up a preconfigured dokku droplet and git push.
> Just spin up a preconfigured dokku droplet and git push. Exactly the kind of things I don't want to be bothered with. I'm just saying that traditional web hosts suit my needs perfectly and DigitalOcean is no replacement.
Leaving aside the whole "PHP sucks" vs "PHP is great/fine for my purposes" thing, this is really breathtaking. The fact that you can just FTP up your folder does not mean that's a sensible best-practice way to deploy anything, PHP, Ruby, Brainfuck or whatever you like. It isn't. FTP is insecure[0]. If you're balking at 'git push', then presumably you're balking at source control, which involves a lot of that sort of thing. That is just entirely unprofessional.
And 'no replacement'? FTPing a bunch of stuff into a public folder allows you to deploy something quickly and easily. So does the GP's suggested workflow. It is, exactly, a like for like replacement - except that it's a more secure and less fragile workflow.
I repeat - this has no bearing on the pro/anti-PHP holy war (I lean towards anti, but there's good PHP code out there, whatever. Hopefully a proper language spec will shove things in the right direction). If your argument for PHP is that it allows you to easily evade responsible working practices in software development, however, you're getting dangerously close to the anti-PHP stereotype of the average PHP developer.
[0] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File_Transfer_Protocol#Security