As to how you can reduce costs: Get VPSs and a free CDN or two, and engineer your website to be heavily cache reliant, resistant to intense backend load, and easily horizontally scalable. If you do it right, $50 a month will get you more than enough performance and most of your bandwidth and load-balancing will be free (the CDN).
As to donationware: Sure, if people are seriously invested in your product or community. But that might take time.
Coming from a sysadmin: Don't let people intimidate you out of doing it yourself. If you can successfully set up Tor, you can set up the infrastructure for a large website. It's not that much of a learning curve because there's a billion tutorials out there that'll show you how to set up different tools to work together.