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I took a risk leaving school and now I need help

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Re: I took a risk leaving school and now I need help

#31

Post by ecualombian »

bsho wrote: post #5
ecualombian wrote: post #2

We all make decisions and they guide us in different directions. I don't really believe in a "right path". I'm not really sure what type of help you're looking for. I was a once computer science major, now clinical social worker. I work with people that have different stressors in their lives and are learning how to live a life they feel good about. In most cases I find, even with past horrific traumas, people are ve…

I want to have enough stability to go back to school and to be in a place where I can explore technology and create amazing stuff. I beat cancer, my work has been featured in the newspaper, I've helped people by connecting via technology, and I've generally done what has made me happy. But there are genuine cultural differences between me and my (Caucasian) step-father that I finally decided to leave behind. I have l…

It sounds like you're noticing important cultural differences and have had a history of heavy responsibility. Best tomorrow, and remember, any decision you make isn't the last or the defining one...those labels generally come after something has passed. You always have choices in front of you. They will likely never be what you have envisioned exactly but they are indeed the ones in front of you. Letting go of the image we've envisioned and embracing what's in front of us I think is one of the hardest things to do in life. Take good care.

Re: I took a risk leaving school and now I need help

#33

Post by kazinator »

bsho wrote: post #12
dlo wrote: post #4

I would say go back to Stanford if that is an option. You'll grow a lot there. I don't know what you mean by "change," but if you need pointers on how to handle the schoolwork or on how to take advantage of the resources you would have at your disposal, just let me know here and I'll get in touch.

I really do want to go back to Stanford. The change I was referring to was the culture. There is so much brilliance in a place like that, and I was not prepared (as someone that rode the school bus 4 hours a day for most of my public schooling) for such a huge change. I owe Stanford tuition, though, so that isn't an option until I can pay it off.

Tuition aside, are you in good academic standing?

Re: I took a risk leaving school and now I need help

#34

Post by partisan »

I hope you have found someplace safe to lay your head. I went through a very similar situation as you, attending an ivy league university only to find myself overwhelmed, unhappy, and feeling like there was no one I could relate to, culturally, due to growing up as part of a marginalized group in the very same city I attended university. I was as depressed as I ever was in my life and spent days locked in my dorm room with the shades shut and considering the most horrible options because my life was over as I saw it.

It's amazing to me to think that was 15 years ago because life has a funny way of going on. One of the most valuable traits you have already discovered, due to your battle with cancer, is your resilience. You will adapt, learn, and grow from your experiences.

Here is how I found my way out of the situation: with the help of my family, I transferred to a public college, worlds (but only blocks) away from where I was previously. I re-invented myself enough to succeed and have a meaningful career thus far and continue dreaming for better.

I recommend that you apply to a school like this, one with a somewhat decent computer science program, but one you can handle and possibly work a job to keep your debt low. Be the best student there and rebuild your confidence. Graduate and get on with life. Most importantly, do not look back with regret because each decision you made was simply a step to where you are now and only a step towards where you will be tomorrow.

Re: I took a risk leaving school and now I need help

#35

Post by bsho »

kazinator wrote: post #33
bsho wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I really do want to go back to Stanford. The change I was referring to was the culture. There is so much brilliance in a place like that, and I was not prepared (as someone that rode the school bus 4 hours a day for most of my public schooling) for such a huge change. I owe Stanford tuition, though, so that isn't an option until I can pay it off.

Tuition aside, are you in good academic standing?

Yes, I managed to keep a good grade average (beside the Ws for withdrawing when I did).

Re: I took a risk leaving school and now I need help

#36

Post by bsho »

partisan wrote: post #34

I hope you have found someplace safe to lay your head. I went through a very similar situation as you, attending an ivy league university only to find myself overwhelmed, unhappy, and feeling like there was no one I could relate to, culturally, due to growing up as part of a marginalized group in the very same city I attended university. I was as depressed as I ever was in my life and spent days locked in my dorm roo…

I have definitely reworked my short-term plans, and I've set aside the long-term hopes to focus on getting into a local community college. With $1K tuition rates, it's a huge difference from Stanford, but I'm still trying to work out how get in before the term starts. The past few days have been a rollercoaster, and I'm glad I waited the lowest parts out because I feel a lot better. Thank you for finding this thread and sharing - it helps!

Re: I took a risk leaving school and now I need help

#37

Post by bsho »

zo1 wrote: post #22

My best suggestion is to go back home. I'm sure you still have friends, and family that have some smidgeon of care for you. Rather than going it alone, as others have said, you need a support structure. I know it can be tough, but suck it up (in terms of the family situation). And while you're there, take some of the remote gigs that I see the HNers here offering to give you. Until you can stand on your own two feet,…

The thing about going back to my reservation home (the one that is offering a place to stay) is that there is absolutely no internet available. So, I've chosen to suck this up. Last year I did a 500+ mile walk, before I started heavy therapy, and I camped out every night. It's almost the same. For the time being, I'm happier. I've already had 2 interviews and applied wherever I could for work. But the home I just left - no. I left that place for good.

Re: I took a risk leaving school and now I need help

#38

Post by bsho »

k-mcgrady wrote: post #27

If things are that bad and you don't want to go back to school your immediate concern should be a job. Forget about an IT job - you aren't in a position to choose the job you want. Apply to everything and anything that has an open position. At least that will help you get back on your feet.

Advice taken. I've already had 2 interviews, and I'm still applying around town.

Re: I took a risk leaving school and now I need help

#39

Post by bsho »

pecanpie wrote: post #11

OP, I've been in your shoes, or at least similar ones. At Stanford, and out of it, years ago. I wish I'd had someone like my current self to talk to back then. PM me if you'd like to talk. There are no saviors, but you're not alone, and it gets better. Anonyfish: satnightfever.

Thank you - I know what you mean by 'there are no saviors'. Hoping for one is tiring.
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