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Put an end to people mispronouncing your name

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Re: Put an end to people mispronouncing your name

#51

Post by dllthomas »

mattzito wrote: post #7

Yeah, I think it's a clever concept, but it seems almost egotistical to say, "Look, I care enough about how you pronounce my last name to embed a link in my email sig " Many people classically mispronounced my name - it's not a big deal, I move on. If we're not going to be having many conversations where you say my last name, I'm not even going to correct you.

I agree with CocaKoala - it is not about making people say my name right; it is about avoiding making people uncomfortable, which is considerate. You do raise a good point that one has to be careful with the presentation, though.

Re: Put an end to people mispronouncing your name

#52

Post by x1798DE »

CocaKoala wrote: post #36
mattzito wrote: post #7

Yeah, I think it's a clever concept, but it seems almost egotistical to say, "Look, I care enough about how you pronounce my last name to embed a link in my email sig " Many people classically mispronounced my name - it's not a big deal, I move on. If we're not going to be having many conversations where you say my last name, I'm not even going to correct you.

I dunno; as somebody who's name gets mispronounced essentially all the time, I'm pretty sensitive about trying to pronounce other people's names properly. If they embed the pronunciation in their email, then a) I don't have to ask, and b) I can practice on my own time with a reference to make sure I have it correct. It's nice of them.

Yeah, I actually don't care if people mispronounce my name at all, but I really dislike mispronouncing other peoples' names, and I also really dislike putting other people in the position to struggle with the pronunciation, then if they get it wrong, I'm in the awkward position of either correcting them and causing them to feel bad about something I don't care about or (for people with whom I will be having an ongoing relationship), let them continue mispronouncing my name until they hear someone else (potentially me), pronounce it correctly (potentially making them feel even worse for all the times they made the mistake). It would certainly be nice to have a database of names and pronunciations.

That said, this does not seem like an ideal solution to me, because it sorta has some of the same problems that just telling people how your name is pronounced has - makes it seem like a bigger deal than it actually is, possibly won't work anyway, etc. Name pronunciation is probably just a bad situation in general.

Re: Put an end to people mispronouncing your name

#53

Post by CocaKoala »

PeterGriffin wrote: post #37
CocaKoala wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's pretty easy to imagine that somebody might get attached to their given name; maybe they were named for their grandparent, of whom they have a lot of fond memories. Maybe it's a connection to their family that they really cherish. Maybe they just really like the way their full name flows together. Suggesting that somebody "just change" their name to something that's only vaguely related because "it's just a colle…

You suggest the point of a name is false associations and nostalgia. I think you're missing the point of a name. The point of a name is so people don't refer to you as "hey you, the tall guy with the blue shirt". That's really it. By the way, I have shortened my name. Saves a lot of trouble.

The point of a name is so that people have an easy way to refer to you; so what? The point of anything is purely utilitarian, and people still get attached to them. I got a cat so that I wouldn't feel as lonely when my housemates went on long trips; that doesn't mean that after taking care of her for four years I'd be happy swapping my cat for a different one, even though they might be functionally identical as far as cats go.

People get attached to cars, books, CDs, photos, musical instruments, and all manner of things. A name is honestly one of the least-weird things to form an attachment to. The point is, that's not the only point to a name.

Re: Put an end to people mispronouncing your name

#54

Post by x1798DE »

xienze wrote: post #21

Mispronouncing someone's name is understandable. What gets me is people misspelling my name... after they've worked with me for years... and seen my name hundreds of times...

I'm even very forgiving of this. In America, I feel like every name has a few different variants, especially anything that had to be transliterated from another character set (even the German name Müller comes through sometimes as Mueller and sometimes as Muller). Because they're so often some Anglicized version of some foreign name, it's hard to have an intuition about the right way to spell many names - even something simple like Goldman vs. Goldmann, Green vs. Greene. I imagine that most people store a name in their brain as how they pronounce it, plus some hint about the spelling if they've been burned before ("Hmm... I remember there's a silent j in there somewhere, but where...").

Names are tough in our wonderful melting pot, but it's a small price to pay for having every kind of ethnic food available in all our major cities (and in many of our minor ones).

Re: Put an end to people mispronouncing your name

#55

Post by CocaKoala »

x1798DE wrote: post #52
CocaKoala wrote: post #36

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I dunno; as somebody who's name gets mispronounced essentially all the time, I'm pretty sensitive about trying to pronounce other people's names properly. If they embed the pronunciation in their email, then a) I don't have to ask, and b) I can practice on my own time with a reference to make sure I have it correct. It's nice of them.

Yeah, I actually don't care if people mispronounce my name at all, but I really dislike mispronouncing other peoples' names, and I also really dislike putting other people in the position to struggle with the pronunciation, then if they get it wrong, I'm in the awkward position of either correcting them and causing them to feel bad about something I don't care about or (for people with whom I will be having an ongoin…

Yeah, for sure this is probably not the be-all-end-all solution to the problem of mispronounced names; I'm guessing that it's trying to be the email equivalent of introducing yourself (and thus providing the proper pronunciation so people have it), but it's not quite the seamless marriage of sound and text that I think people are hoping for.

Re: Put an end to people mispronouncing your name

#56

Post by CocaKoala »

shazow wrote: post #46
nat wrote: post #42

I don't think this will help as much as they hope it will. In my experience, people are generally incapable of pronouncing anything, even when it is said to their face. My name is Nat, which is about as simple a name as you could ask for. But quite often, I will introduce myself, "Hi, I'm Nat", and the response will be "Nice to meet you, Nate". My wife experiences it too (even from her mother!), so I don't think my p…

Or even worse: When a barista takes my name for my order, I say "Andrey." Usually they'll spell it "Andre" but whatever. Five minutes later, more often than not, they call out "Aubrey." That's reading their own handwriting. You can't explain that. :P

Yeah, names in coffeeshops is an entirely separate issue; trying to hear a name when there's a lot of background noise and a hard time limit before it becomes awkward and other customers get angry about the line being held up is pretty rough.

I've actually taken to giving them my full legal first name as opposed to the nickname I usually go by, because the nickname is phonetically ambiguous and the full name isn't.

Re: Put an end to people mispronouncing your name

#57

Post by Fuzzwah »

nat wrote: post #42

I don't think this will help as much as they hope it will. In my experience, people are generally incapable of pronouncing anything, even when it is said to their face. My name is Nat, which is about as simple a name as you could ask for. But quite often, I will introduce myself, "Hi, I'm Nat", and the response will be "Nice to meet you, Nate". My wife experiences it too (even from her mother!), so I don't think my p…

I'm an Aussie living in the US. My name is Rob. Basically every American calls me Raaaab.

Re: Put an end to people mispronouncing your name

#58

Post by xienze »

x1798DE wrote: post #54
xienze wrote: post #21

Mispronouncing someone's name is understandable. What gets me is people misspelling my name... after they've worked with me for years... and seen my name hundreds of times...

I'm even very forgiving of this. In America, I feel like every name has a few different variants, especially anything that had to be transliterated from another character set (even the German name Müller comes through sometimes as Mueller and sometimes as Muller). Because they're so often some Anglicized version of some foreign name, it's hard to have an intuition about the right way to spell many names - even someth…

Well, in my case, my first name is fairly common, it just has a letter repeated that normally isn't. So, it's not some unusual, foreign name.

Re: Put an end to people mispronouncing your name

#60

Post by PeterGriffin »

CocaKoala wrote: post #53
PeterGriffin wrote: post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You suggest the point of a name is false associations and nostalgia. I think you're missing the point of a name. The point of a name is so people don't refer to you as "hey you, the tall guy with the blue shirt". That's really it. By the way, I have shortened my name. Saves a lot of trouble.

The point of a name is so that people have an easy way to refer to you; so what? The point of anything is purely utilitarian, and people still get attached to them. I got a cat so that I wouldn't feel as lonely when my housemates went on long trips; that doesn't mean that after taking care of her for four years I'd be happy swapping my cat for a different one, even though they might be functionally identical as far a…

Please don't compare one's attachment to another living being (like a cat) to attachment to objects, or even worse, intangible symbols (like a name).

A tendency to apply high value to symbols, instead of substance is a property I've noticed in less sophisticated people. They can't tell (or weren't taught to tell) apart symbol and substance, but symbols are way simpler, so they focus on the symbols.

Works for them to a degree. But it's stupid. Symbols exist only point to something else. Maybe being named after your grandfather means a lot to you as a symbol, but no one else feels that way. To them it's just your name.

And one is not honoring their grandfather by being particularly stubborn about their weird name, they're just being silly, and harming themselves.

You honor those you respect through your actions, not by wearing hollow badges (like using a specific name). By the way, I was named after my grandfather.

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