Hey - this happened to me. Startup (www.buildinghero.com) and long-term relationship (5 years) both ended in fall 2013. Feel free to email me at thomas.vladeck@gmail.com. Definitely the hardest couple of months scrambling to get over both. I was homeless, heartbroken, broke, and unemployed all at the same time. But I did get over it and so can you! Would love to talk.
Ask HN: Looking for advice – Failed startup, long term relationship at same time
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Re: Ask HN: Looking for advice – Failed startup, long term relationship at same time
#22Been here. It's the pits. The more I see these kinds of posts (and I'm seeing them a lot lately), the more I think we need a community specifically for this stuff. Where we talk about the difficulties of entrepreneurship, and how terrible it gets. Where you must be this damaged to enter. Because frankly, I don't think HN itself is the right place to talk about how many times I've tied a noose. If I had more time I wo…
Exactly this. It's terribly demoralizing to go through the bs associated with a job search after a failed startup. I would be happy to start something up with one or more cofounders.
What we need is a job placement service for (temporarily) failed entrepreneurs, a support network, and possible more.
Entrepreneurship is like parenthood. It takes doing it to know what it's like, and it's very harsh when there's little to no support.
People who have the guts to start something and have something (scars included) to show have initiative, drive, ambition. They should have no problem finding jobs, support and whatever resource they need.
Re: Ask HN: Looking for advice – Failed startup, long term relationship at same time
#23[deleted]
Re: Ask HN: Looking for advice – Failed startup, long term relationship at same time
#24[deleted]
Re: Ask HN: Looking for advice – Failed startup, long term relationship at same time
#25Use your experience to do another startup, but avoid doing things which led to startup failure. The worst thing you could do is give up. Also try to find investors first instead of spending family money on first business.
Re: Ask HN: Looking for advice – Failed startup, long term relationship at same time
#26Whenever I get depressed there are some coping mechanisms I use.
* Play games (e.g. OpenArena and FreeCiv), cheating liberally and/or playing on easy settings. (Yeah, take that bot...)
* Go for long bike rides. Take water, some food, and a good book. Go somewhere new each time.
*Read a good book. I read SF&F, but whatever tickles your fancy.
Oh look, all escapist mechanisms. That's OK. I can't offer any suggestion as to debt relief, as that's something else. But...
Re: Ask HN: Looking for advice – Failed startup, long term relationship at same time
#27Im sorry about your startup, and even more so about your relationship...
I may not be able to give you relationship advice,
but would you consider sharing your startup?
The great people here might be able to give you enough guidance to turn it around. I'll certainly try and help as best I can.
All the best.
Re: Ask HN: Looking for advice – Failed startup, long term relationship at same time
#28Use your experience to do another startup, but avoid doing things which led to startup failure. The worst thing you could do is give up. Also try to find investors first instead of spending family money on first business.
Are you sure that's the best advice? I can't be certain, but I would advise some stability (get a good job for a while) and then another startup only if that's what the OP wants.
"Never give up" makes a great saying, but it's terrible advice because the scope is completely undefined. Never give up on what? A particular startup idea, the idea of having a successful startup, or perhaps just working in the tech industry? Some things are really good to give up on and move on from.
Re: Ask HN: Looking for advice – Failed startup, long term relationship at same time
#29For the debt side of things you might want to check out Dave Ramsey. His podcast is one hour of hard luck and inspirational stories on getting out of debt. Don't get hung up on his politics when they come up. The no nonsense advice is great.
Know that your friends and family still care about you deeply.
Re: Ask HN: Looking for advice – Failed startup, long term relationship at same time
#30I was there a couple of years ago borrowed a bunch of money(some from my younger brother) and started a company. failed at that and a relationship of 10 years ended. It's time for you to do some serious soul searching. I have a job now. Of course their laying off a bunch of people including me. I'm about to get married to someone else. I have a 9 mo. old son. Still haven't figured what to do about the whole debt thing. But, you're kind of lucky in a way. Your going to survive. pick your self back up. and when you do you'll realize most of the bullshit is just bullshit. Credit's just a number. people come and go in your life appreciate the time you had with them. I remember something Donald Trump said when his company blew up. He saw a homeless guy on the street and looked at him and thought "I'm 900 million dollars poorer than that guy." Also, got a fortune cookie the other day that said "Failure is not defect until you stop trying". I kept it and put it in my wallet.