As with all personal advice, all I can offer is my perspective, so take from it what you can and ignore the rest.
In life, we move through multiple contexts that support us: Friends, family, relationships, careers, intellectual movements, social clubs, et cetera. Typically, when we fail in one of these contexts, we can rely on our success in the other areas to sort of "justify" or "rationalize" our experience. We say -- my family life has suffered, but it was necessary to achieve the career success I have purposefully sought. Or, we say -- my career is taking off, so I need to abandon old friends and move on to a higher caliber of social groups. Thus, we can say our psychological stability relies on the breadth of our "support network" -- any one node can fail, but if we've led a balanced life, we can rely on the others to see us through.
What you're going through is the worst sort of crisis; when multiple nodes fail at once. Specifically, in regards to women, I have seen this pattern over and over again -- a relationship built on a particular arrangement of perceived success, ultimately, boils down to building your foundation on a house of cards.
There's good news out of all of this. You have two useful interpretations of what happened here: Find a woman who will stick by you through good times and bad; or let go of the notion that a single woman can be a support network at all. I am currently struggling with this dilemma in my personal life, but I have seen examples of success with both.
Regardless of the shape of your own support network, there is one particular node I've found that remains stronger and constant than all of the others: My personal relationship with God. YMMV.
Edit: If you're in the bay area, I'm here for another week or so. Feel free to reach out. Email's in profile.