Why Work Marriages Make Sense
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Why Work Marriages Make Sense
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Re: Why Work Marriages Make Sense
#2This is the "Loser" deal according to the Gervais Principle[1]:
"[The Losers have] given up some potential for long-term economic liberty (as capitalists) for short-term economic stability."
It makes a certain amount of sense, but so do the other positions of the "Clueless" or "Sociopaths". If you are ambitious, then the "Loser" deal is clearly a bad one.
[1] - http://www.ribbonfarm.com/2009/10/07/the-gervais-principle-o...
Re: Why Work Marriages Make Sense
#3This makes no sense to me. A marriage is premised on a lifetime commitment. Even with a 50% divorce rate, you are talking about 2 marriages in a lifetime, outliers are 3.
Most people stay in jobs for an average of a few years. It is dating as best.
Seems like a very contrived argument with no particular value derived from this analogy, apart from in fact, not making sense.
Re: Why Work Marriages Make Sense
#4I'll admit I haven't read the full article. However, this did stand out to me:
> So why would they want to be exclusive? Mostly because they want their significant other to be committed and not leave them whenever the significant other has a better option.
Realistically, I think it probably is true, sadly, that many people might see committed relationships this way. And if it is true, I would take that as at least a partial explanation for why the divorce rate is so high.
This is totally anecdotal, but from my observations, the marriages I've seen and known that have succeeded the best were not based on a trading of commitments, at least not in this very game theoretic sense. They were based on actual, legitimate love, and that's all there is to it. Love doesn't mean you can't be attracted (even very attracted) to someone else, but it means that any such attraction pales in comparison to the companionship you share with the one you love.
Re: Why Work Marriages Make Sense
#5The view of romantic relationships underlying this piece is not one shared by most of my friends who are in stable relationships, and is IMHO rather unhealthy.
People do not stay in romantic relationships to avoid "the trauma of getting dumped". They stay because their partner is who they are looking for, someone who enriches their life. Healthy people sting for a bit when dumped, but they get over it and find someone new.
Also, the boyfriend/girlfriend stage doesn't match up with what I've seen: people who dump their boyfriend/girlfriend "because someone better comes along" usually find that the new person isn't better at all, and in the meantime they've labeled themselves as fickle and capricious in the minds of friends and prospective dates. Rather, it's time to end a relationship when your continued partnership is making you unhappy, regardless of whether there is someone better out there. And as long as you are happy, you are unlikely to be more happy with someone else.
I'd argue that even with these corrections, viewing work like a romantic relationship still makes no sense. The cornerstone of romantic relationships is equal emotional investment, and the idea that beneath all the trappings, we're fundamentally all just people. Business is different because:
1. There is an inherent power imbalance between employer and employee. A company is never going to love you back, nor will you ever fulfill as important a role for it as it does for you.
2. Companies will and should respond to changing market conditions. Those changes sometimes mean that whole roles disappear, and employees who want to perform those roles can and should go elsewhere. A romantic relationship is hopefully based on qualities more fundamental than "what professional role do I want to occupy?"
3. If a company refuses to make hard choices about employment and market positioning, the market makes it for them, with the result that everybody is hunting for a new job.
Re: Why Work Marriages Make Sense
#6So vesting periods for options are a prenuptial agreement? Stay for a few years if you want to leave with anything.
Re: Why Work Marriages Make Sense
#7Even if it were better for the employee to be married to their job (which is doubtful - see: the many articles telling us that the best way to get a raise is to negotiate your new starting salary), I worry that this post could be taken to mean that you should be loyal to your company in the current real world. Your employer does not want to marry you, and will in fact drop you as soon as something better comes along. If you're the only one acting as if it's a long-term thing, you're the sucker.
Re: Why Work Marriages Make Sense
#8This article is terrible. Companies are not loyal to their employees and pretending otherwise is truly deluding yourselves.
People in a marriage, in theory, should remain loyal for life.
Re: Why Work Marriages Make Sense
#9Basically it’s a trading of commitments: Each person says to the other, “I want to avoid the awful risk of being painfully dumped for someone else, so I will make a commitment to you to not leave as long as you do your part even if someone else that might be better comes along.”
From Dante to this.
"Progress"
Re: Why Work Marriages Make Sense
#10One of the most stupid things I have ever read on this side of the screen