> Always have the ping come from a non-recruiter. I got an email a few days ago from the CEO of a startup in SF. In the email, he followed all of the rules in this email, including trying to get face-to-face chat by offering to get coffee. I'm not really looking for a job but I am open to new opportunities, so I replied and agreed to get coffee. The response comes from a recruiter. What? The CEO sends me an email and…
> YOU contacted me, not the other way around. You have the burden of proof of attracting me to your company. You should be the one jumping through hoops, not me. Yes. I get contacted by a headhunter that says they know of a company looking for engineers. I go on an interview and someone at the company asks me very officiously, "Why do you want to work for this company?" I respond, "I don't know that I do want to work…
I rather see it differently. As you said, you have a job and the head hunter told you that this company had opportunities. So common sense dictates that you check briefly what they have to offer before going to the interview. Is it a better pay (you could tell the recruiter "I am currently making X, what would they be willing to offer?"), the chance to use a technology you don't use at your current work place, or you really like what the company is doing - if it's Planetary Resources or Khan Academy that would be understandable.
So if I was the interviewer, I would be surprised about that guy who comes to the interview without bothering to check what's on the table. Apart from that, I agree with you that the recruiting process of many companies is partly designed to show who is the boss, and it's a sad thing IMHO.