> YOU contacted me, not the other way around. You have the burden of proof of attracting me to your company. You should be the one jumping through hoops, not me.
Yes.
I get contacted by a headhunter that says they know of a company looking for engineers. I go on an interview and someone at the company asks me very officiously, "Why do you want to work for this company?" I respond, "I don't know that I do want to work here. I have a job. The headhunter called me and told me there was an opportunity here so I came to check it out". The interviewer didn't say anything, but their expression was slightly shocked. I guess I was supposed to launch into a pitch about how it was always my dream to work at that company.
I think you put your finger on it. They present it to you as the CEO begging you to come work at the company. Then you start finding out it is a bait and switch, they want you to play the role of a desperate job seeker, begging some low-level manager for an opportunity to work at the company.
It's a power thing. We see CEO's here and in the tech news complain that they can't find good technical talent. Yet every part of the job process is designed to demonstrate they have the power in the relationship from the offset. They want references - before you have a job offer often, they want you to ask a favor from two to three people to sing your praises to them. If you tell them you won't give them references until it's the last step before a job offer they look surprised. Or they just hand you a form to fill out, which will be incomplete if you don't put references. They want you to come interview for hours in the middle of your work day. Often you get there and they tell you some important person who has to interview you to get the job is not there, and you have to come back again. You also have to go through the indignity of not being candid - if you want the job offer. When they ask you why you left your last company, that your boss was a jerk is not an acceptable answer. If they ask you about unit tests at your current job, and you say you have asked management to allow time for putting in unit tests but they refused - it becomes your fault that your management told you no. And on and on and on. That I have to ask for a favor from 2-3 former coworkers or bosses that they give me a reference every time I apply for a job is probably the most annoying part.
Who wants to go through all of this? It's why a lot of my jobs are at companies my friends work for. At least I know the score before I go in.