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Suicidal Software Developer

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Re: Suicidal Software Developer

#51

Post by danielweber »

cupofjoakim wrote: post #24

Dude, don't kill yourself. I bet that if you give it a couple of years you'll be in a dad with a wonderful family. As a first step I'd recommend you to get a dog though, the condition less love you get from those fellas are what took me up from my depression. Also, it gives you something to do. Activation is important.

Don't make happiness in life conditional on other people's behavior. You cannot control other people. Even if you do everything right, your wife might leave you and your kids might turn out to be serial killers. They have their own agency and can make their own choices. You can't control other people.

Unfortunately humans are incredibly hard-wired to seek happiness in other people. Even the well-balanced professionals who don't care about money indicate that the #1 thing they desire is the admiration of their colleagues. Most hackers like us definitely fit in that mold.

I don't have any solutions to that. Maybe if I identify the problem someone else can come up with an answer. Dunno.

EDIT: We should make sure admiration is not a zero-sum game. Don't tell people on HN that there are only a certain number of ways to succeed. I've probably violated this rule many times, like complaining about people making yet another framework, which forks my attention.

Re: Suicidal Software Developer

#56

Post by xamebax »

codeshaman wrote: post #30

It might sound outrageous, but you're in a good spot in life right now. I've been there a couple of times, I've even had a suicide attempt at 17 and ended up spending 2 months in the hospital with kidney failure. But each time depression crept it on me again, I was better and better equipped to deal with it. The last time I was depressed towards suicidal (about 2 years ago), two things helped me: This book: http://ww…

> That's how the hit of LSD or psilocybin (mushrooms) might help, but you need to know what and how you're doing it.

I figured out your LSD therapy was a form of self-help, but as someone who is under constant, long-term care of a psychiatrist, I have been told more than once that in the case of depression drugs and habitual alcohol intake are a no-go. LSD is especially dangerous. Please don't advise suicidal and mentally ill people to solve their problems with drugs.

And finally, depressed people don't need advice, they need patience, understanding and someone who is able to listen to them.

Re: Suicidal Software Developer

#57

Post by steveklabnik »

[deleted] wrote: post #52
steveklabnik wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Fuck you.

[deleted]

I have lots but if you can't see what's wrong with what you've said, well, I don't have that kind of time.

You should seriously reconsider your relationship with mental health issues, and ask yourself if it's appropriate to joke around about 'final release notes' with someone who is suicidal.

I'm not going to bother to reply more.

Re: Suicidal Software Developer

#58

Post by xamebax »

imdsm wrote: post #35
cupofjoakim wrote: post #24

Dude, don't kill yourself. I bet that if you give it a couple of years you'll be in a dad with a wonderful family. As a first step I'd recommend you to get a dog though, the condition less love you get from those fellas are what took me up from my depression. Also, it gives you something to do. Activation is important.

I second this. Get a dog. You never know who you'll meet when spending time with that guy, you two might even find yourselves a new family. Do it, OP.

Dogs require taking care of. For someone who is clinically depressed and has huge problems with properly taking care of themselves, taking care of someone else might be extremely exhausting. It can also lead to blaming oneself for not treating the dog properly, regardless of how it's treated. Trust me, I've seen this in people with clinical depression.

Re: Suicidal Software Developer

#60

Post by PerfectElement »

I've seen some people in this situation finding purpose in life by helping others.

A very close friend of mine battled with depression for years. After watching Earthlings and realizing how horrible it is to be an animal in this day and age, she made it her mission to do whatever she could to help them. Today she is a very active member of a project that's been estimated to save tens of thousands of animals per year (mostly by educating people about the consequences of their actions).

She tells me that knowing she's making a difference is what keeps her going and offing herself is not an option anymore, because it would be like abandoning those terrified animals inside slaughterhouses. And I noticed that her self-esteem has improved and that she spends more time improving herself, so she can be more effective in her mission.

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