Founder Depression

I've been to some really dark places and back. If anyone needs to talk, shoot me an e-mail -- slava@rethinkdb.com. I'll buy you coffee, listen, and try to help you find a better place.

No. It's not good for that at all. Depression is a monster. It eats relationships for breakfast. Friends who have not had depression will not understand it. There will be almost nothing they can do to help, but they'll want to help and find it a very frustrating experience. In the long run, those relationships will be very difficult to maintain.

Hyperbole and a Half has what I think is the best "layman" explanation for what depression is really like: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2011/10/adventures-in-...

I've found it super helpful to surround myself by other entrepreneurs (they "get it" more easily). With the best ones, we can both speak with our guards down, and be open about our vulnerabilities.

I don't have data on this, but I actually believe you increase your odds of success by being open about your insecurities. Among other things, it helps you form connections that are more human.

If anyone in SF would like to talk through stuff, my email is in my profile. I've seen my share of lows, and been helped by other entrepreneurs. Would like to pass it forward.

You might also checkout http://www.startupsanonymo.us/. Two great guys, also founders who have been there and who just listen, for free and offer some feedback.

Great project, way too little exposure for them though.

Am I qualified to chime in? We just shut down today after 4.5 years. ;)

This is very true, and unfortunate. It makes it easy to feel like everyone is being successful except you. I realized this a couple years ago and, when talking to other founders, I just stopped sugar coating things about my situation. I would tell them about our struggles, what was going on, and its affect on me. I don't think I've ever been brought to tears as many times as this year. It is super painful, but lying about it is bad for all involved. You can't get the support you need, nor provide proper support to others.

I can definitely vouch for the dark days. I feel fortunate to be an eternal optimist who knows these things are temporary, but the startup lows are about as low as they come. On top of that, you have things like breakups, family emergencies and other tragedies that are already hard enough to deal with when you are not nursing a struggling company. When those things hit at the same time, it can feel impossible to do anything.

Seriously, as a founder, find a few people you can really confide in and do so. And, don't be afraid to say things aren't going well. You never know what people can do to help. On that note, though today isn't the best day for me to cheer up others, I'm available to chat for any founder going through dark days. joey@earbits.com