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The day I left my son in the car

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Re: The day I left my son in the car

#102
post #2

I'd be interested in hearing non-US perspectives on this. Is it acceptable elsewhere to leave your small child alone in the car for 5 minutes while you get something from a store? Would you fear for the child's safety, of legal action, or neither? Is the US leading the way criminalizing parents who do such things, or are there other countries that have been doing this for years?

I commuted by public transportation for about 5~ miles each day before and after school from the age of 9 (in Ukraine). From 11 on I commuted about 5~ miles each way to school in New York City.

At 8, I would often walk for miles in the wilderness when out camping, or go swimming in a river without serious adult supervision.

Re: The day I left my son in the car

#103

I'm willing to bet that having a pool in your yard is much more dangerous for your child than leaving them in a car with windows cracked for 5 minutes. Media drives government. Clicks drive the media. What we're left with is a hodgepodge of laws that attempt to prevent yesterday's headline.

iirc, drowning is the #2 preventable cause of death in kids, after car accidents.

Re: The day I left my son in the car

#104
I, personally, don't believe that children should ever be left alone in a car, but I'm not sure where the legal line should be drawn.

On one extreme, it would only be criminal if a child dies under your care, which would be criminally negligent homicide or something similar.

On the other, we can't run in to drop a movie off at RedBox without getting 3 kids out of the car.

I wish people in positions of authority were able to apply more common sense and wisdom than always involving the criminal justice system.

My wife knows a lady that does (unlicensed) day care, and she leaves kids in the car all the time. She just tells them to hide so no one sees them. As far as I know, none have been injured, but it's also pretty irresponsible and I wouldn't allow her to watch my child.

Re: The day I left my son in the car

#105
post #97
post #95

Earlier quoted context omitted.

These are all articles that are making my point for me. Leaving a four year old alone in a parked car in a parking lot is leaving a four year old alone in a parking lot.

From the very first article: "Sgt. Steve Martos said the child's mother was loading her purchases into her car when Jose darted between vehicles and into the driving lane. The driver did not see the child and ran him over." If she had left the child in the car, this wouldn't have happened. The point isn't that you should always leave your child in the car - the point is that our assessment of risk is terrible, and th…

You cannot leave a four year old alone in a car and trust that they will not get out. Nobody's four year old is trustworthy; they are not biologically capable of being trustworthy at that age.

Meanwhile, a four year old escorted through a parking lot with their parent is at least somewhat visible. A four year old alone in a parking lot is invisible.

Re: The day I left my son in the car

#106

While it's tough to criticize the decision to leave a child in the car for a few minutes -- happened to me all the time as a child -- I'm forever scarred by seeing a dead child pulled out of a car in the office complex next to mine [1]. The dad was bashing his head against a tree trying to knock himself unconscious because he was so overcome with grief. Officers were trying to restrain him when his wife showed up and…

As with lots of things: The details matter. Leaving a kid in a car shouldn't be an offense. Not returning ~soon~ might be and might be a reason to call the cops/force the car open. Parents can damage/kill their kids in uncountable ways. Most don't and really try to avoid that. Trying to watch over their shoulder isn't 'Good citizenship', it's crazy and a witch hunt. You start to be labeled as child abuser if your kid…

It was worse than that. Someone wasn’t worried. Instead of acting, by, say, trying to talk to the kid in the car or perhaps just calling the cops, they “recorded the incident using a phone’s camera, and had then contacted the police”. Baffling.

By the way, this is what I think of every time I hear someone use the phrase ”a good samaritan”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIVB3DdRgqU

Re: The day I left my son in the car

#107
post #85
post #70

I've flagged down a cop seeing a kid alone in a car, and would do it again. Should people who leave their toddlers in cars be prosecuted criminally? That's a complicated question. In almost every reasonable case the answer is probably "no". But this article doesn't really grapple with that question. Instead, it's a stew of rationalization and misdirection. It is literally an argument for leaving kids alone in cars .…

What, exactly, are the risks to a child in a locked car on a cool day for five minutes?

How cool is "cool"? According to this[1] 15 minutes at 75 degrees can be enough. It's even possible at 50-60 degrees for an infant with blankets.

[1] http://www.parenting.com/article/tragedy-in-the-backseat-hot...

Re: The day I left my son in the car

#108
post #9
post #2

I'd be interested in hearing non-US perspectives on this. Is it acceptable elsewhere to leave your small child alone in the car for 5 minutes while you get something from a store? Would you fear for the child's safety, of legal action, or neither? Is the US leading the way criminalizing parents who do such things, or are there other countries that have been doing this for years?

When I got to the bit about being arrested I was completely baffled... there's a law against this? I'm from the UK and as a child was left in the car for short periods, which is almost certainly commonplace. I'm simply stunned that parents can be prosecuted for this. Another wtf America moment.

There's no specific law against it in the majority of US states (http://www.kidsandcars.org/state-laws.html) The laws against leaving a child alone in a car are stricter than leaving them home alone (http://www.imom.com/parenting/tikes/parenting/safety/home-al...) because children dying of heat stroke in cars has made headlines in the past 20 years.

Many laws in the US are purposely vague and up to the interpretation of the police. The mother was charged with "contributing to the delinquency of a minor" (http://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/Contributing+t...), which can be used against anyone that does something that might possibly result in a child being adversely affected in some way.

The unfortunate part of life in the US is that the average person breaks a few dozen laws every day, and it's really important not to upset the police in some way that they'll take notice of you and start charging you with crimes.

Re: The day I left my son in the car

#109
post #97

Earlier quoted context omitted.

From the very first article: "Sgt. Steve Martos said the child's mother was loading her purchases into her car when Jose darted between vehicles and into the driving lane. The driver did not see the child and ran him over." If she had left the child in the car, this wouldn't have happened. The point isn't that you should always leave your child in the car - the point is that our assessment of risk is terrible, and th…

You cannot leave a four year old alone in a car and trust that they will not get out. Nobody's four year old is trustworthy; they are not biologically capable of being trustworthy at that age. Meanwhile, a four year old escorted through a parking lot with their parent is at least somewhat visible. A four year old alone in a parking lot is invisible .

You can't have your child out of your sight for a single instant without a chance of them getting hurt. When you are asleep they could easily leave the house and get run over in the street. I'm generally a fan of your comments but this time I don't see your point at all.

Re: The day I left my son in the car

#110
post #2

I'd be interested in hearing non-US perspectives on this. Is it acceptable elsewhere to leave your small child alone in the car for 5 minutes while you get something from a store? Would you fear for the child's safety, of legal action, or neither? Is the US leading the way criminalizing parents who do such things, or are there other countries that have been doing this for years?

Bolivia here - I've NEVER in my 14 years living here in two different departments (states) seen a child left alone in a car. It's just unheard of. And we don't even get that much heat or cold either.

The risk is someone can break your window and steal your kid. It's just something that's never done. It would be akin to leaving your child on the street corner while you go up to your apartment to grab the purse you forgot.

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