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The day I left my son in the car

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Re: The day I left my son in the car

#31

Post by LukeB_UK »

nkurz wrote: post #2

I'd be interested in hearing non-US perspectives on this. Is it acceptable elsewhere to leave your small child alone in the car for 5 minutes while you get something from a store? Would you fear for the child's safety, of legal action, or neither? Is the US leading the way criminalizing parents who do such things, or are there other countries that have been doing this for years?

I'm from the UK and was born in 1990. I remember my parents leaving me in the car when I was younger, in all sorts of weather. Rain, snow, sun, whatever. I never really cared because they'd leave the radio on and I could play with whatever I'd taken with me. Nothing bad ever happened to me when they left me in the car

I don't see any issue with people leaving their kids in the car, it just requires a little common sense.

Also, comparing events where someone forgot their kid was in the car and leaving them all day to events where the parents consciously leave their kids and are aware of the conditions they've left them in (especially if they actually do something to help ensure the comfort of the child, like cracking the window) it's completely wrong. One is neglect, one is giving your kids a little freedom.

Re: The day I left my son in the car

#32

Post by baddox »

DanBC wrote: post #29
jbellis wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The very big difference is that child-bakes-in-the-car heat deaths are not because Dad left the kids in the car while he ran in to the store for a few minutes, but because Dad forgot the kid was in the car at all. http://www.parenting.com/article/tragedy-in-the-backseat-hot...

Parent runs into store for few minutes, trips and knocks head becoming unconcious / has stroke / has heart attack / etc etc - child dies. Having said that, This story is a really good example of how tough it is for some parents and how hostile society is to parenting.

If the father became unconscious, had a stroke or a heart attack, etc. while driving or doing anything with the child away from other people, the child could die.

Re: The day I left my son in the car

#33

Post by noonespecial »

It wasn't so long ago that the "bystander" would simply watch the child for a minute out of common courtesy for the mother. If it looked like it was getting out of hand, then perhaps intervention of some sort might cross their mind.

We've become a nation of "I'm Teelllllling..." suitable for nobody but a playground full of 5 year olds.

In my opinion, the actions of this "good samaritan" were not motivated from concern or helpfulness. Just like on the playground this action was malicious. A subtle kind of violence.

Re: The day I left my son in the car

#34

Post by ryandrake »

I don't now if it's an American thing or maybe a Western thing, but for whatever reason, voters and elected officials seem to be able to effortlessly make that huge leap from "It's sensible to do ABC" and "It should be required by law to do ABC, under penalty of fines and/or jail". We over-legislate things like public safety, and then rely on the court bureaucracy to apply sensibility and lenience on a case-by-case basis.

See Also: Three felonies a day

EDIT: Spelling

Re: The day I left my son in the car

#35

Post by nostromo »

I'm willing to bet that having a pool in your yard is much more dangerous for your child than leaving them in a car with windows cracked for 5 minutes.

Media drives government. Clicks drive the media. What we're left with is a hodgepodge of laws that attempt to prevent yesterday's headline.

Re: The day I left my son in the car

#36

Post by interpares »

sliverstorm wrote: post #21

Good lord, how can this be a crime? Leaving my puppy alone in the car for a minute or three here or there (under reasonable circumstances of course) has been a productive part of developing his confidence in himself, his ability to be alone, and his ability to be calm. I'm not a parent, but I expect basics like this apply to kids too- how can they grow up to be well-adjusted adults if they must be supervised at all t…

>how can they grow up to be well-adjusted adults if they must be supervised at all times

Sad answer is they can't. What a society we're building for ourselves.

Re: The day I left my son in the car

#37

Post by moron4hire »

"He glanced up at me, his eyes alight with what I’d come to recognize as a sort of pre-tantrum agitation. “No, no, no, no, no! I don’t want to go in,” he repeated, and turned back to his game."

That's where you failed. Clearly, there was a pattern of negligent parenting.

Re: The day I left my son in the car

#38

Post by joeframbach »

encoderer wrote: post #24

I once left my puppy beagle in the back of my car, windows cracked, while I ran into the restaurant to pick up takeout. I was not in there more than 5 mins. When I got out, started to pull away, and was stopped by a cop who then called animal services. This level of nanny-state-ism drives me slightly crazy. But the real issue for me was the person who decided s/he needed to call the police (the police for this). If i…

I once called animal control when I saw a dog in a car, in a hot parking lot. This dog was barking and running around the car. I waited in my car's A/C for 5 minutes before calling, just to be sure I wasn't overreacting.

When I got through to animal control, I was told that the dog was not in distress. A dog in distress would retreat to a cooler spot of the car (near the passenger side floor) and not jump around barking.

That your dog was barking and moving around, it was not in distress.

Re: The day I left my son in the car

#39

Post by w0utert »

t0mas88 wrote: post #16
nkurz wrote: post #2

I'd be interested in hearing non-US perspectives on this. Is it acceptable elsewhere to leave your small child alone in the car for 5 minutes while you get something from a store? Would you fear for the child's safety, of legal action, or neither? Is the US leading the way criminalizing parents who do such things, or are there other countries that have been doing this for years?

In the Netherlands I would not expect any legal consequences or police involvement over leaving a kid in a car in the way described in the article (e.g. window open and only for a few minutes).

Second that, I can hardly believe this story is for real. When I grew up my parents left me (and my brother and sister) alone in the car all the time. Never for more than a few minutes obviously, but otherwise it was perfectly normal. They also let us cycle to school, play outside without being monitored all the time, roam around the woods, whatever. It was the same with all my friends. Surprisingly, everyone turned out just fine, and I've never heard of a single (near) fatal incident caused by this kind of negligence around me. I think I vaguely remember a baby died in a car in The Netherlands a few years ago though. You have to wonder what kind of parenting leads to forgetting you left your baby in the car though, and how long it would take for some other serious incident to occur if you're so absent minded.

That said, anyone has a right to disagree whether leaving your kid in the car when you have to stop at the store is acceptable, but prosecuting a parent for it is downright insane.

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