How I Feel as Young Father Involved in Early-stage Startup

You raise some valid points for sure, obviously, we make choices: whether we go to college or not, put in that extra hour at work or not, go out with friends, hang out with a spouse/child, watch a sunset, etc. and ultimately, we have to accept our actions, consider the consequences/risks and respond as necessary.

" Hate the idea of a 9-to-5 job? Well, suck it: the regular hours and clockwork and guaranteed paycheck will go a long way toward making your family more stable and stress free. "

See, it's not that simple. What if hating that 9-5 job means he is angry and depressed and takes it out on his family or decides to give in to some sort of escape (alcoholism, extra-marital affairs, etc.)? Is it worth it then?

Don't convince yourself that a 9-5 is stable, it isn't. They are typically more stable than startups but far from rock solid. You can be laid off tomorrow due to a sudden market change, or nasty office politics. Then what? Was it worth it not to give yourself (and by extension, those that depend on you) leverage? Maybe, maybe not.

It is a complicated matter; for some, the risk of sacrificing some time now in hopes of a better future is worth it, for others, it isn't. Some would much rather have a dead-end job, barely make ends meet but spend 8 hours a day with their kids/family/friends. Others would sacrifice some relationships in order to achieve a greater goal - be it in pursuit of self-actualization or better living conditions, etc.

Author clearly thinks about his daughter and from the responses, am convinced he wants her to know that he cares for her. There's no clear cut answer and there will always be a sacrifice involved when we want something.

For some, the return of investing in relationships far outweighs the financial return of working above-average hours (I am learning this more and more). I personally think it is often worth sacrificing work/money for relationships; but at the same time, let's not forget the people who sacrificed their lives for their work. It is claimed that Nikola Tesla - at the latter end of his life - expressed regret at not getting married and sacrificing so much for his work. But without that sacrifice, where would we be as a society today? Of course, not everyone's result is as noble or far-reaching, but the truth about life is that there will always be a sacrifice to achieve something greater, the ultimate question is: Is it worth it? For that, there is no universal answer.

I like the sentiment. When I started my first true startup, after being an executive in a high profile one, we put our own capital in and then literally 6 months later, we conceived triplets spontaneously while having a 2 year old son.

While I was terrified of what would happen with the startup and the family, there was no question to me that we had to stay on the path. That startup ultimately was sold in a good outcome and I am now two startups past that. My kids are now 11 and 9*3. They know that I work in startups and many times they visit the office and hangout.

While I have some regrets, like flying to Europe every 2-3 weeks post acquisition for over a year, I want my kids to know that I do what I do because I love it and it is how I put bread on the table. While I don't wish my life choices on them, I want them to know that being the master of their own destiny is a choice their dad has fully embraced whatever they decide.

All of that said, even when I was flying to Europe, I made it a point to move heaven and earth to be home with them every single weekend during that period of time and was actively and highly engaged while at home. While you can choose to work hard, you also have to choose to be a great father and role model IMO.

Great piece.

Like many here, I have aspirations of starting a company one day. At one point about 5 years ago, I tried and failed to start a company with a colleague, then tried and failed to start consulting. I hope to try again on one or both of those in the future.

But in the meantime, I have a daughter due in a few months and I know that the most important things for her are that I have a steady income and that I be around for her and my wife as much as I can. Being a (new) entrepreneur allows neither of those things. Maybe when she's a bit older I can think about striking out on my own, but for now it would be selfish to do so.

It's self-serving to set up a schedule like the OP did, then complain that you don't have enough time to spend with your family. You have no one to blame but yourself; we in the tech industry have the luxury right now to have a large demand for our labour for wages well above the median. Most people in the world can't say that and have to make compromises. We don't. To make compromises anyway is to play the martyr card.

If, as a technologist, you don't get a chance to see your daughter, it's because you prioritized something else over her.

Not so long ago I posted a message I then reposted and managed a -4 Karma somehow.

I was going to take a big leap in to a post with salaries far beyond what I would pay myself. Many here told me to take the risk, go for it etc etc. But I chose my family over a fat pay-check. No regrets!