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It's Different for Girls

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Re: It's Different for Girls

#11

Post by cobrausn »

Swizec wrote: post #8
huu wrote: post #3

I'd say a man placing her hand in his unzipped pants counts as criminal behavior.

It's also very relaxing. I do it all the time when, say, watching television.

You probably misread the previous statement - it says placing her hand in his pants...

EDIT: Dear downvoters: This statement is a favor to the guy above me, who probably thought the statement was referring to Al Bundy like behavior of watching TV with hand in pants.

EDIT 2: Removing some needless name-calling. Was just annoyed.

Re: It's Different for Girls

#12

Post by Swizec »

jawns wrote: post #6

I think the big takeaway here, not just for women but for anyone in the workplace who feels uncomfortable with or offended by something someone else has said, is to consider the intent. Sometimes somebody says something offensive, and they don't even know they're being offensive. And in those cases, you can take them aside, explain to them why it's offended you, and hopefully they'll say, "Oh, dreadfully sorry, I did…

And then you have people like me who consider trolling to be the single best way of bonding with people. I don't think I could work with a person I can't say offensive things to and who doesn't say offensive things back.

Maybe I'm just too European, I don't know.

Re: It's Different for Girls

#13

Post by [deleted] »

rafekett wrote: post #7
AngusMcQuarrie wrote: post #4

Speaking as a privileged cis straight white male under 40 here, can we at least as a community agree to roast assholes who sexually harass our female compatriots alive? If I ever caught someone I know pulling shit like that, I would make it my personal mission to wreck their reputation and end their career. I realize that's not going to level the playing field completely, but I cannot believe stories like this still…

i'm incredibly reluctant to post in threads like this, but I think this attitude is actually hurting diversity in the industry: excessive "chivalry" by males gives more of an illusion of preferential treatment when women stand up to discrimination, which is just more fuel for the gender war fire. women need our support, not our defense. it's fine to be outraged, but your response should not be to go on the offensive.

[deleted]

Re: It's Different for Girls

#14

Post by cjbprime »

news_to_me wrote: post #5

Lack of diversity in the tech industry truly saddens me. I love technology, and I want to encourage everyone else to discover how magical it is. It's a tragedy that the industry can be so hostile to some, for apparently no reason. But as a white male, I feel powerless to do anything. I can't speak for women, or for other races, or really for anyone else. I want to help fix this, but where do I begin?

It seems unlikely that, in a hostile industry, you never see anything hostile happening yourself, right? So you can (as we all should) try to call men out on everything they do that's exclusionary.

Re: It's Different for Girls

#16

Post by xbryanx »

news_to_me wrote: post #5

Lack of diversity in the tech industry truly saddens me. I love technology, and I want to encourage everyone else to discover how magical it is. It's a tragedy that the industry can be so hostile to some, for apparently no reason. But as a white male, I feel powerless to do anything. I can't speak for women, or for other races, or really for anyone else. I want to help fix this, but where do I begin?

You (and me) are in the most powerful group to do something about this issue.

First off, check that you are never participating in the behavior you don't want to see. I'm amazed how often I have to check myself.

Second, use your position of power as a white male to call out other men, privately or otherwise, when you see them behaving like any of the reprobates in this article. You'll be amazed at how much weight your voice can have in these situations.

Third, proactively advocate for women.

Re: It's Different for Girls

#17

Post by skannamalai »

Swizec wrote: post #12
jawns wrote: post #6

I think the big takeaway here, not just for women but for anyone in the workplace who feels uncomfortable with or offended by something someone else has said, is to consider the intent. Sometimes somebody says something offensive, and they don't even know they're being offensive. And in those cases, you can take them aside, explain to them why it's offended you, and hopefully they'll say, "Oh, dreadfully sorry, I did…

And then you have people like me who consider trolling to be the single best way of bonding with people. I don't think I could work with a person I can't say offensive things to and who doesn't say offensive things back. Maybe I'm just too European, I don't know.

Are you a person of color? Are you a woman? Are you gay? Are you trans? Are you disabled?

Not trolling, genuinely curious.

Edit: I can't reply to the children (might be my karma game) and so I'll reply here. The linked article is about specifically about power and privilege, and how being a woman in the tech business puts you at a severe disadvantage in your job, in your community of choice. The reason why I ask is justification "I'm European so..." seems dangerously close to "lighten up" or "get a sense of humor". It's fine to put yourself out there on a joke, humor is hard, but rewarding. But when someone takes offense, I find it problematic when all of a sudden it's their problem for not getting your style or sense of humor.

When a privileged person is forced to check their privilege and they respond with "oh, my bad, I didn't realize, etc." I accept maybe they don't have the experience or perspective that comes with being disenfranchised in that particular regard. When they respond with "lighten up" I find there is no attempt to internalize why someone could feel sadness, or discomfort, or frustration about the offensive topic at hand.

Re: It's Different for Girls

#18

Post by Swizec »

cobrausn wrote: post #11
Swizec wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's also very relaxing. I do it all the time when, say, watching television.

You probably misread the previous statement - it says placing her hand in his pants... EDIT: Dear downvoters: This statement is a favor to the guy above me, who probably thought the statement was referring to Al Bundy like behavior of watching TV with hand in pants. EDIT 2: Removing some needless name-calling. Was just annoyed.

Yup, my bad. Totally read that as him placing his hand in his pants. As in, only one person involved.

Re: It's Different for Girls

#19

Post by wakaflaka »

Swizec wrote: post #12
jawns wrote: post #6

I think the big takeaway here, not just for women but for anyone in the workplace who feels uncomfortable with or offended by something someone else has said, is to consider the intent. Sometimes somebody says something offensive, and they don't even know they're being offensive. And in those cases, you can take them aside, explain to them why it's offended you, and hopefully they'll say, "Oh, dreadfully sorry, I did…

And then you have people like me who consider trolling to be the single best way of bonding with people. I don't think I could work with a person I can't say offensive things to and who doesn't say offensive things back. Maybe I'm just too European, I don't know.

Actually, I think you are just socially inept.

Re: It's Different for Girls

#20

Post by thenmar »

joelrunyon wrote: post #10

> That is why I encourage my fellow female trailblazers to look for the intent behind the words. Offensive language is often unintentional, and sometimes you can turn an awkward situation into a bonding experience. This is probably the most common-sense, insightful piece of advice that our news cycle does its best to make people forget.

Perhaps, but taking it at face value is dangerously close to thinking it's okay to tell somebody to "man up" or "laugh it off" when they're offended by sexist/racist/offensive comments. Remember, in her example, she says, "I already knew Brad as a great guy and a huge supporter of women". It's not license to tell someone they shouldn't feel offended.
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