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Do Men Suck At Friendship?

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Re: Do Men Suck At Friendship?

#51

Post by zhemao »

ashwinaj wrote: post #23
te_chris wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Anecdotally, I've noticed this when I'm in America. Everyone is normally outwardly very friendly, but there's always the feeling that they don't give a shit about the encounter you're having and they're only even talking to you out of some perverse sense of politeness. It was even more strange for me because often our conversations would be relatively honest and about somewhat personal topics (not just the weather, w…

You're right. Strangers are outwardly friendly for no apparent reason. The worst part was when I met them again, many of them wouldn't recognize me! I was mainly referring to the convenience/activity/mentor friends described in the article.

> Strangers are outwardly friendly for no apparent reason

Why should one need a reason to be friendly? Would you rather people be curt and standoffish by default?

Re: Do Men Suck At Friendship?

#54

Post by ashwinaj »

zhemao wrote: post #51
ashwinaj wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You're right. Strangers are outwardly friendly for no apparent reason. The worst part was when I met them again, many of them wouldn't recognize me! I was mainly referring to the convenience/activity/mentor friends described in the article.

> Strangers are outwardly friendly for no apparent reason Why should one need a reason to be friendly? Would you rather people be curt and standoffish by default?

Well I said outwardly friendly. As in like we grew up together in the same neighborhood kind of friendly.

Re: Do Men Suck At Friendship?

#55

Post by reinhardt »

cperciva wrote: post #49
sardonicbryan wrote: post #37

As a male with more close female confidants/friends than male, I find it interesting that this article in no way acknowledged the possibility of a platonic male/female friendship.

Men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.

Unless there's no sexual attraction, preferably mutual. I for one don't consider every (or even most) women to be fuckable.

Re: Do Men Suck At Friendship?

#56

Post by cdr »

cperciva wrote: post #49
sardonicbryan wrote: post #37

As a male with more close female confidants/friends than male, I find it interesting that this article in no way acknowledged the possibility of a platonic male/female friendship.

Men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.

I really hope I'm missing some sarcasm there.

Re: Do Men Suck At Friendship?

#57

Post by vacri »

nailer wrote: post #33

I think men's friendships tend to be fewer but deeper. This resonates with a lot of people: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hmlPtRu1SQ

There's a lot of variation between individuals, and it also changes significantly with age. 20-year-olds tend to form cliques of 5-15 people that do things together... then as they age and pair off or move elsewhere, they stop doing things as a group. Friendship dynamics change as well.

I think there's something in the research about a healthier life being one with more friends, but the author seems to make a huge jump from that to extrapolating his own experience to all other men.

Re: Do Men Suck At Friendship?

#58

Post by scythe »

I would like to take a moment to remind everyone that this article refers primarily to non-poor white men in the OECD, and that most people are not WEIRD:

http://www.facstaff.bucknell.edu/jvt002/brainmind/readings/h...

In particular attempting to draw conclusions about innate (genetic) behavior from this skewed sample is highly subject to confounding.

Re: Do Men Suck At Friendship?

#59

Post by ashwinaj »

sumedh wrote: post #34
thewarrior wrote: post #31

This doesn't happen in India. This is a purely western phenomenon.

Do you speak for all Indians? This also happens in India and has nothing to do with western culture.

I don't know if you live (or have lived for years) in the US or not, but if you do you'll have a very different opinion. Trust me.

Re: Do Men Suck At Friendship?

#60

Post by cperciva »

cdr wrote: post #56
cperciva wrote: post #49

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.

I really hope I'm missing some sarcasm there.

It was a quote from 'When Harry met Sally', but a study recently backed it up: http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/men-and-women-cant...
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