Ask HN: Broke up with girlfriend, how to get on track with projects?

Go on okcupid, look for the next one. After a few, you realize that its not a big deal.

Just got over a similar situation where I broke up and was still living with my ex; this would be bad enough, but she also began spending all her time with another roommate, perhaps romantically perhaps not, while excluding me from all communication. She could not afford to move out, and I could not afford to help her move out; somehow I held on to empathy to allow her to stay.

I worked from home about 50-50 before this. As you may imagine, concentration and focus became impossible at my house, difficult everywhere else.

My advice is not meant to be callous, but: grin and bear it. Struggle through, and find the focus within yourself. You'll make it through this, regardless of what happens. How do you want remember making it through?

Some tricks I found that helped me work:

classical music on headphones,

small manageable tasks (decide tasks to be done, choose tasks you're doing, stay on target),

mental mantra's ("be vigilant, stay on target", "my time is valuable and irreplaceable" both did me well),

meditation (seriously; 20 min at morning and night thinking about nothing but your breathing does wonders to let you focus).

Spend free-time with empathetic and sincere friends (not coddling; the goal is not comfort but mental digestion and moving on emotionally; if necessary, seek professional counselling),

exercising,

and lots of outdoors (helped me put things in perspective).

I also found the poem 'Desiderata' by Max Ehrmann to be a big help (to each their own.) I've put the lines that helped me the most below:

"Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."

Above all, forgive yourself for feeling like hell. It's expected, and acceptable. Best of luck.

EDIT: Formatting

If you can afford it, take a week off, go to a beach somewhere, perhaps with a friend, and do some meditation. Maybe sign up for an online dating site to make you realize there are other options out there and she can't be the only one who can make you happy.

First off listen to this . . .

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGGA6VXHdmE

Then move on . . . don't let her hold you down or hold you back, there are lots of other girls out there that are just as good for you and most likely better for you . . . so explore and find someone new (not to get serious with) just to get to know and have fun.

Ok . . . focus . . .

You have to get back in the game . . . choose a small simple task . . . write that on a note card or on a trello board (just one task at a time) and knock that out . . . then add the next easiest one . . .and keep building on getting things done . . .

If you're still distracted you can try motivating yourself by the fact that she doesn't want you to get things done she wants you to fail . . . prove her wrong. (this may or may not be true, but make yourself believe it)

Good luck.

Hell, come over to my place and lets throw back a few cold ones.

One important thing I think you need to come to terms with is that if you don't get that client work done you are going to be worse off than you are now, financially and reputation.

Losing a loved one for whatever reason is hard. Put in a good solid work day, keep the bills paid and take some time to reflect on the situation. This will make you stronger. The next girl you meet will be lucky because you will be stronger due to this breakup.