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The shy connector: How to get strangers to talk to you

sachachua.com

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Re: The shy connector: How to get strangers to talk to you

#3
Most helpful thing I found is to ask ask people about themselves. A corollary is to avoid referring to "I" , "me", and so on. (Not always so easy of you've been spending a lot of time on your own, doing whatever drives you.)

Most folks a) like to talk about themselves (or their interests), and b) are flattered that someone is interested.

Re: The shy connector: How to get strangers to talk to you

#4
One of my teachers freshman year was talking to the class about his friend, he would often start a conversation with strangers he met at bus stops (as an example) with a question like this: "What kind of music do you think you like?" Now some people turned into interesting conversation, while others, sadly, told him to piss off. But the point is, it's an interesting way of how to get strangers to talk to you =]

Re: The shy connector: How to get strangers to talk to you

#7
post #4

One of my teachers freshman year was talking to the class about his friend, he would often start a conversation with strangers he met at bus stops (as an example) with a question like this: "What kind of music do you think you like?" Now some people turned into interesting conversation, while others, sadly, told him to piss off. But the point is, it's an interesting way of how to get strangers to talk to you =]

Is "you think" part of the bait?

Re: The shy connector: How to get strangers to talk to you

#8
post #2

Finally, some practical advice introvert to introvert.

Many people have flexible dispositions, however, and will generally find their social lot improve if they teach themselves to take the initiative in social interactions. I believe there are true unchangeable introverts, but not as many who think that they are.

Re: The shy connector: How to get strangers to talk to you

#9

Most helpful thing I found is to ask ask people about themselves. A corollary is to avoid referring to "I" , "me", and so on. (Not always so easy of you've been spending a lot of time on your own, doing whatever drives you.) Most folks a) like to talk about themselves (or their interests), and b) are flattered that someone is interested.

I second this. People seem to come with a built-in affinity for probing just how amazing they are. Depending on your agenda, all you really have to do is help them explore that space.

Re: The shy connector: How to get strangers to talk to you

#10
post #2

Finally, some practical advice introvert to introvert.

Many people have flexible dispositions, however, and will generally find their social lot improve if they teach themselves to take the initiative in social interactions. I believe there are true unchangeable introverts, but not as many who think that they are.

just wondering about the parallels...

there was a time when people thought that left-handed people could be taught to use the "right" hand too...

not saying it can't be done, but... you can probably predict my thoughts.

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