Ask HN: I am a good developer but have a serious gaming addiction

The procrastination, feeling like I've gotten nothing done over a long period of time, and switching to a computer game when bored or hitting a sticking point are all things I can relate to. It becomes a life of mediocrity, which I can't stand.

Unfortunately there is no easy solution. Addiction is a strong force, and it takes an equally strong force to overcome it. Things I do that help:

- Uninstall all games and get rid of any mouses or other hardware that are used for games.

- Tell close friends and family about what you're doing. Have social accountability.

- Find other activities that pull you away from your addictions. I push myself to regularly work out and get a good night's sleep.

Ultimately I know that every time I feed my addiction, it grows stronger. It's either being fed or slowly dying.

Wanted to say the same thing. What OP described are clear signs of depression.

To OP: It's important to realize, that it's hard to deal with depression on your own. Consulting a professional might seem intimidating at first, but it's worth it.

If you don't want to consult a professional for whatever reason, try getting out of the house as much as possible. Try working in public places if you can. Going to the gym is actually harder because it requires more effort once you're there.

Just yesterday I was looking up some file on my HD and my eye glimpsed the "Civ4" data folder. In a split second my mind took a holiday, away from work. I felt the joy of building up a marathon Civ4 game, just clicking away the time. It felt like the sun started shining on my mind, full intensity, after a long cold winter.

And any other time I would have just given in and started that game and wasted 2 weeks. But not anymore.

However, I thank my game addiction for keeping me sane through my depressions. Whenever one would set in, I would just game it away in 2 or 3 weeks. I lost a huge amount of time to various virtual worlds, but I think it has kept me alive, probably.

To get out of it though, I just try to get a bit of work done before starting up a game. Just half a minute to start with. I always lie to myself "just one more small bugfix and then we'll escape to SW:TOR (or whatever)". I try to make that 30 seconds into a minute, into 2 minutes, into 5, into half an hour. And sometimes, after weeks of trying, a full workday appears. And after some more time I have forgotten about games and find myself working 12 or 14 hours a day, 7 days a week again, loving it. .. until it is too much again.

I think you've reached an important point where you are able to see it as an enemy to your happiness in life, and that you have a serious self control problem. That is a significant first step. For me, my game addiction was causing all kind of wrist problems, in addition to making me feel crappy about my lack of life/productivity.

A couple insights:

1. What did it for me, after reaching that "moment of clarity", was quitting cold turkey. The trick was.. and you will not like this.. to throw them out. Uninstall them and delete them including your profile and trash the installers. You might reinstall a demo version or something and have some relapses, but after the relapse has run its course, delete it again.

2. Look at it exactly like an addiction. Use similar strategies that alcoholics use to fight their addictions. I'm completely serious. For one, never play games again. Some people can handle these things in moderation. You're not one of them. Look at games exactly like an alcoholic looks at drinks. They are your enemy and they want to kill your happiness.

3. It doesn't end with games. I have since substituted other things.. fortunately not as bad in terms of time consumption though, and fortunately not substances. Hacker News, for example.

The root problem for me isn't specifically about games. It's that when I feel "nervous" about doing work that's tough or unpleasant, my body knows that games / writing on HN / insert other pleasant distraction will take that nervous feeling away. For the moment. That's very much like an addict's mentality. It takes a lot of breathing exercises and focus on my future happiness to overcome those moments.

"Time management" techniques usually don't help because it's a different part of you than your rational mind. It's your body reacting physically to the queasy feeling in your stomach you get of sitting down to do that task you need to do in front of 82 more tasks before you get that serotonin payoff for a job well done. Your body has learned, "but a game can give me that right now, let's just go do that!" Your mind already knows what's best in the long run. You need to untrain your body.

Maybe it's similar for you, maybe it's different. Battling addictions is a big topic and everyone is different. But there is hope. You're lucky that the games you're addicted to can be uninstalled and thrown out. It doesn't stop you from relapsing but it does create a barrier that helps.

The biggest thing that has helped me is a book - "The Now Habit" by Neil Fiore. Get it, read it, apply it. Seriously.

I've found my procrastination tends to come form putting work ahead of myself (my time with friends/family, my health, my hobbies, etc). The more time I schedule for myself, the less I procrastinate. And yes, you need to schedule your "mine time" as much as you schedule your "sold time".

Also, be wary that the procrastination can be a symptom of depression. If so, that's what you need to focus on first.