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Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

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Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#21

Post by karmajunkie »

kriptonic wrote: post #8
cj wrote: post #2

> I can guarantee the technical skills What are your technical qualifications?

Thanks for asking. I work as a web developer. I have been building eCommerce sites since I was 15~, I'm 23 now! I can do frond-end and back-end development, although I think I'm better at back-end development. I have good experience with HTML/CSS/Javascript, PHP/MySql, Java & Node.js. I also have some experience in building AI systems using ANNs, GAs, etc.

Congratulations, you figured it out.

You don't know anything.

Come on man—you're 23! how many real problems have you even encountered in your life? Let me rephrase that in a way that sounds less dismissive of any personal problems you may have in your life (which are important but not the basis of a startup)—how many problems have you encountered in your life that could be solved by technology or automation that are also shared by people with money who are willing to pay for them?

Get a job that pays well. If you can get a job that pays you well enough to save a little something AND lets you work part-time, that's even better. Take the extra time to work on your ideas, work on learning a new language, read up on things you know nothing about. Because THAT'S where successful startups play. Until you get out and see the world around you, you're not going to see problems you can solve. Its the biggest mistake I made in my 20's, and the biggest mistake I see most people your age making. Work at a crappy job for awhile, learn an industry that has a lot of sucky parts to it, and figure out how to make them better.

Also, FWIW (and something I wish I'd figured out a lot sooner)—most of your friends probably don't share your values, so find some that do, and things like paying your rent and going on vacation to Germany with your girlfriend is as much her responsibility as it is yours. Don't be that guy.

Email's in my profile, feel free to contact me for lots of cranky-old-guy advice.

Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#22

Post by stevewilhelm »

Below are some stats regarding starting your own business in perspective. [1]

Starting a business is hard and takes a long time. It also takes a fair amount of luck.

May I suggest, next time you have a business idea, you pitch it to as many successful business people you can find. They don't have to be VC's or Angel investors. Pick any successful business owner in your community.

Ask them for their honest opinion. If they say they like it, see if they would "put their money with their mouth is" and would invest in your idea.

In the mean time, do as others have suggested: get a good paying job and start saving as much as you can. You are going to need much more than $5,000 to pay for living and business expenses when you go all in on your next venture.

[1] http://www.statisticbrain.com/startup-failure-by-industry/

http://www.forbes.com/sites/elainepofeldt/2013/06/29/the-ris...

Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#23

Post by cpayne »

thekenwheeler wrote: post #14

You're trying to force it. That's not going to work. Stop. Get a job. A job that you like. Then just be good at it. Better yet, be the best at it, and make sure it is something you are passionate about and talented in. It really is that simple. Nobody wants to invest in somebody with a bunch of failed entrepreneurial ventures. But if you sit back, take a check, work on cool shit and build an impressive body of work,…

That is so on the money!

Like everything in life - just because it appears simple, doesn't mean it is easy...

...and then go bang your partner again. They're either missing you or about to break up with you.

Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#24

Post by Skovy »

thekenwheeler wrote: post #14

You're trying to force it. That's not going to work. Stop. Get a job. A job that you like. Then just be good at it. Better yet, be the best at it, and make sure it is something you are passionate about and talented in. It really is that simple. Nobody wants to invest in somebody with a bunch of failed entrepreneurial ventures. But if you sit back, take a check, work on cool shit and build an impressive body of work,…

You sir, deserve my upvote for making me laugh on HN.

Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#25

Post by hnriot »

* I've lost pretty much all my friends because of the time I've spent trying to make my ideas work.

I suspect that work has nothing to do with this, more likely the negativity and the real reason why you're so obsessed with work. I think work is your crutch, not your problem.

* And now it's 2:31am on a Sunday evening and my girlfriend is in bed wondering why I won't come give her a cuddle, but I can't.

Most people are asleep then, that, by no stretch of the imagination is "evening".

You need to stop whining and get a job. Learn how to be a person, relate to your girlfriend, balance your interests, sort your shit out. Whining to the hn crowd is not the way to sort your life out, you need to stop looking to others to sort things out for you.

No business person with any chops is going to read this and want to go into business with you. You can't sleep, you can't keep your end up in a relationship with your girlfriend, you've been working five years and have only $5k to show for it, you've admitted to failing at everything!

Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#26

Post by alecsmart1 »

I just read through it all and realized you're just 23! I don't think you should be so hard on yourself. I thought you were like 40 and lost with no hope. But at 23? Come on.... Just get yourself a simple job for a bit. Take a break. What do you have to lose? Once you sound a little less burned out, you can give startups a shot again. Have some patience, and please enjoy your journey; you only get to do it once.

Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#27

Post by emmelaich »

cyphunk wrote: post #9
pyrrhotech wrote: post #7

Here's the better idea. Get a 9 to 5 six figure job. It will be boring, I know. Life sucks like that sometimes. Most of us have one. Next, live like a pauper, saving 60-70+% of that income. Spend your free time doing exactly 3 things 1. working on a side project 2. spending time with your girlfriend. 3. exercise (never count this out, no matter what your life circumstances otherwise) Then just wait 5 more years. You…

sound advice but may not fit if the OP was being driven by something other than making money. Also, some people have been doing the side project route for long enough to feel it is not working and they need to devote more time. i applaud the OP for pushing themselves but also agree that a well paying job is an option they may consider. Better yet, just variate between them. Spend a couple years trying to find collabo…

That's ok, there's a whole spectrum of boring/interesting, well-paid/not so well-paid jobs.

pyrrhotech's advice is exactly the one I was going to give.

Work on some side project at the same time.

And you know what? You might even like it, gain some skills and friends at work which will put in get stead for the rest of your life.

The genius artist in an attic is a seductive myth.

Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#28

Post by einhverfr »

I have a bunch of feedback to this.

1. You have to support yourself before you can do other things. If that means getting standard employment, that is what you have to do.

2. Being from a working class family is no obstacle. You can do some work on the side (make sure you check your employment contracts, make sure no conflict of interest, and if necessary discuss with your employer). But avoid living in the machine. Get out, spend time with friends. Maintain social relationships. Those are important, and nevermoreso when you are in business for yourself.

3. Go to garage sales. Pick up used accounting textbooks. Learn enough accounting that you can keep your own books. Accounting is the language of business, and it is one thing you have to have at least a basic grasp of if you are to get back into business for yourself.

4. If you still have time, get involved in Toastmasters, to develop public speaking ability.

5. Surround yourself with people who will support you when you start something but challenge you before you do. This is vitally important because you want a clear view of the problems before you begin but you also want people who will help you overcome problems rather than drag you down to them.

6. You don't have to know everything yourself. You need to know people who can help with things.

Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#29

Post by [deleted] »

alecsmart1 wrote: post #26

I just read through it all and realized you're just 23! I don't think you should be so hard on yourself. I thought you were like 40 and lost with no hope. But at 23? Come on.... Just get yourself a simple job for a bit. Take a break. What do you have to lose? Once you sound a little less burned out, you can give startups a shot again. Have some patience, and please enjoy your journey; you only get to do it once.

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#30

Post by vbrendel »

At 23 I was still at Uni, a nerd failing at all non-nerdy subjects, no girlfriend, no money, no car. I had hardly any ambitions and failure was the norm I set for myself. But I was pretty happy nonetheless.

Don't let all the hype get to you. Life is not about building Instagrams or WhatsApps, you might as well play the lottery.

So say you can't do it and then you can... sounds like you just have a pre-life crisis.

Set yourself up for a tiny win, like, try and run 10km, or get a first-aid diploma. Fist pump, you're not a failure. Then set your next target. Enrol for uni, flip some burgers. Life is the same for everybody, by the way.

The problem is, you are pretty smart; the nice thing for dumb people is that it's easier for them to be happy but you'll get there, too.

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