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I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem

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Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem

#151

Post by awshepard »

karon wrote: post #89
mattm wrote: post #6

I have struggled with porn at times and have done a lot of research on addictions. I also have a couple friends who are alcoholics. IMO, Gabor Mate has been the best resource I have found on understanding addictions. His theory is that addictions start in childhood due to some kind of constant, ongoing stress. It could be something like abusive parents or severe bullying. When we find something that temporarily relie…

Gabor Mate heals heroin addicts with two powerful psychedelic plants: Ayahuasca (DMT) and Iboga. I have been to a couple of Ayahuasca ceremonies in the past year, and I can report that - among its many awesome effects - it effectively resets your inner emotional "firmware", helping you cope with stressful situations and addictions much better (I had instantly quit smoking after the first ceremony.) Vipassana meditati…

> even people who practice half-hour daily buddhist meditation praise its beneficial effects on mental and physical well being.

Wanted to lend some weight to this. I've practiced mindful meditation on and off for a year or so. I've never hit an hour or even half an hour at a time, but I will say it is fairly effective for recalibrating your mental state even with just a few minutes a day. I find myself much more patient, accepting, and clear-headed when meditating regularly, which was exactly what I was hoping to accomplish. I occasionally find myself re-centering and focusing on breathing while not meditating - just a reflex that develops with the practice, and even if its effects are strictly physical (eg more oxygen to the brain), it still feels good, mentally, to get that shot of clarity throughout the day.

I can't speak to its effects on addiction, or other forms of pain, but I would definitely recommend some form of meditation for everyone.

Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem

#153

Post by biftek »

seanccox wrote: post #65

Have you sought help? Alcohol is an addictive chemical, and if you have a dependency, you don't have to overcome it alone. If, on the other hand, you are like me an you simply drink too much, I can share how I got the situation under control. First, I threw out a lot of the liquor in the house (I kept the good whiskey that I was already saving for a special occasion). Then, I stopped going out to bars as often and, t…

Biggest thing for me was learning to get up early, and sticking with a schedule even on weekends.

A lot of us have the privilege of working flexible hours and for me that meant getting hammered and showing up to work at 11am still a bit hungover. I now show up to work at 9 and leave by 6, and don't go out with my old drinking buddies. Likewise I don’t try to pull crazy hours because that shit stresses me out and I cope with that by drinking/recreational drug use.

I've wanted to write more about this topic but never have the courage, in part because I still drink sparingly and am not sure that makes me an authority.

Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem

#154

Post by MorningInfidel »

I've found Martial Arts helpful to get myself out of my head and take the edge off the monkey energy that isn't being released through my sedentary, code -> video games -> sleep lifestyle through the working week.

In particular, pick one that's as close to actual combat as possible. MMA is great, but perhaps too intense. I've started training brazilian jiu jitsu and can't recommend it enough. Something about fighting for your life against someone who could easily put you to sleep/manhandle you that's therapeutic.

Sam Harris blogged about it here: http://www.samharris.org/blog/item/the-pleasures-of-drowning

I wish you all the luck in the world in getting past this.

Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem

#156

Post by Hearty »

twobits wrote: post #143
subversively wrote: post #47

As another poster mentioned, addiction is about getting away from some kind of unbearable inner pain. I'll share mine, what I did to get deaden it, and how I finally healed it. I'm 31 now, have a wife, exciting job, close friends, and most of all, I'm happy. My pain comes form severe bullying; I got beaten up literally every day as a child for three years. After that, I finally got transferred to another school, but…

"As another poster mentioned, addiction is about getting away from some kind of unbearable inner pain" Could you please give ideas how to id that pain? To be personally specific, my mother never told me positive things, always comparing me to some perfect ideal, and I also was beaten up for not good grades. These seem a "perfect" explanation from what I've read, but still I don't really see them as the cause of my pr…

I could, but I won't. Because some post on the internet would be far far less effective in working this out than seeking professional help. Please do that. You'll thank yourself for it later, and isn't such a big investment anyway.

Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem

#157

Post by halis »

I'm a 32 year old software developer and I've been sober for over 6 years now. Had a horrible drinking problem, that got progressively worse since my teen years.

Today, I have a wife and two sons and I don't miss drinking one bit. But I had to get pretty low to stop. Everyone's bottom is different, I was lucky that I hit mine so young.

Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem

#158

Post by mitko »

Fwiw, I'd like to share some the way I approached alcohol, after going through some times where I drank more beer than water.

Now, I still drink from time to time, but it is easier for me to decide not to drink in a given situation.

http://mitko.github.io/2013/11/09/overthrowing-alcohol/

Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem

#159

Post by ctdonath »

Lots of good options posted here, lots of good insights.

I'd like to see more discussion about the enzymes needed to metabolize alcohol. AFAIK, it's very much a genetic matter: some people (or, of note, peoples) just lack the genes needed to process it in a manageable manner, tend to feel the effects with greater intensity than others, and thus find it much faster to go too far and harder to get out of that state and not go back. Those who have it can enjoy a few without further compulsions; those who don't dare not a drop. All this, of course, is poorly expressed and based on fragments I've gleaned. Anyone have a better analysis, and perhaps a way to test for this genetic predisposition to alcohol tolerance or lack thereof?

Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem

#160

Post by philiphodgen »

There is an astonishing variety of comments here. Frankly this is not a vi vs emacs thread.

I wish commenters here would understand that the OP's glide path is currently aimed at one of two outcomes: insanity or death.

If the OP is reading the thread (and I would guess he is not) I would implore him to ignore all of the comments except those from people who have had up-front and personal experience with the damage from alcoholism.

A flippant comment -- just so you can look clever on HN -- may condemn the OP to a dismal fate. Cut it out.

OP, seek the seemingly harder way. It will turn out to be the softer, easier way. This means a new way of living (on the one hand) or a slow painful death on the other. Let the others here on HN plait their shit. You must either change or die.

Disclaimer: Anecdotal personal experience sample size for this topic is > 1.

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