141–150 of 243 posts
If you don't want to talk, get to an AA meeting or if you don't think you can control yourself, check into rehab. Strike while you care about it, don't wait for yourself to start making excuses.
I was a "high functioning" alcoholic; 35 years in the software business, and I've worked for companies I know you've heard of, and you've almost certainly used my products. 15 years ago I was drinking 750ml of liquor a day. Lost a few jobs, was living in filth, and was about to be homeless.
Long story made short, I got into detox and then AA, changed pretty much everything in my life that wasn't working and haven't had a drink since. First couple years were intense, and I still go to AA meetings every week. It's a maintenance thing. I know I can't drink again.
It can get better, but you can't do it yourself. If you're a heavy drinker, get medical help in the first few days because withdrawal can kill you. I think you'll find your employer amazingly helpful and supportive.
[I'm extremely skeptical of solutions that involve other substances. I guess if it works, it works, but I'm not going to get much out of talking to you about it.]
As another poster mentioned, addiction is about getting away from some kind of unbearable inner pain. I'll share mine, what I did to get deaden it, and how I finally healed it. I'm 31 now, have a wife, exciting job, close friends, and most of all, I'm happy. My pain comes form severe bullying; I got beaten up literally every day as a child for three years. After that, I finally got transferred to another school, but…
Could you please give ideas how to id that pain?
To be personally specific, my mother never told me positive things, always comparing me to some perfect ideal, and I also was beaten up for not good grades. These seem a "perfect" explanation from what I've read, but still I don't really see them as the cause of my procrastination, addictions, and feeling tired, sometimes down, and with no energy. ..So, any ideas how to id my pain, if I have one? Thanks.
Since gas stations started selling it 3 years ago, I became addicted and when they were banned from selling it I had to find more. I found it online and have been ordering it every since. I leave work early sometimes so I can go smoke it. The only downside I've noticed, is that I'm less sociable (in person) because of how I look when I'm high (red eyes, droopy eyelids) and it makes me tired extremely fast. Sometimes I will wake up at my computer desk wondering when I fell asleep or how long I've been out. I'm sure it's probably not good on my lungs either, but I smoke cigarettes so I'm used to knowing I'm harming my body internally. I just love the way it makes me feel, almost like a reward. I use it as an award for coding something beautiful. "Oh that code actually worked?! Time to smoke."
I hope we both find help. We need it.
I don't know if you'll see this, but I hope you do. I've struggled with addiction and I've made decisions that I'm ashamed of and disgusted with. There was a period of my life when I was also hopeless. I thought that I had lost everything. In a sense, it was true. (Rather, I destroyed most of what I had and subsequently lost the remaining pieces.) Despite all of that, it does get better. It took me far too long to ac…
This is correct and very very important. Your brain is physically changed. Alcohol's primary effect is the increase in stimulation of the GABAA receptor, promoting central nervous system depression. With repeated heavy consumption of alcohol, these receptors are desensitized and reduced in number, resulting in tolerance and physical dependence. When alcohol consumption is stopped too abruptly, the person's nervous system suffers from uncontrolled synapse firing. This can result in symptoms that include anxiety, life threatening seizures, delirium tremens, hallucinations, shakes and possible heart failure.[55][56] Other neurotransmitter systems are also involved, especially dopamine, NMDA and glutamate.[12][57]. Please do it with professional help, in a hospital setting. An addition recovery/psychiatric hospital, not a "normal" hospital. Search online or in the yellow pages. You may have to travel some to get there. I've seen many addicts withdraw and some have no problem, but some have life threatening seizures and other absolutely terrible physical symptoms. I heard one person say "this is the worst pain I've ever experienced in my life!" Also, not being able to leave prevents you from drinking to stop the symptoms, they are locked facilities, when you sign yourself in you agree to be there for at least 3 days. The hospital will provide you with proper aftercare as well, tailored to your needs. They will also control your symptoms with medication, depending on what the symptoms are. You get checked up on constantly. Getting the psychiatric care from the hospital (and followup) will help you get to the root of the problem - why you drink - and you can treat that, instead of just treating the addition itself.
All this care is generally covered by insurance.
If you aren't very religious, please skip AA and all the twelve step programs. They are really offensive to atheists and non believers. (I have read part of the AA "big book" and had to stop because I couldn't take any more. The section on "what if I don't believe in God" was especially offensive) Seek CBT or other non-twelve step treatments. Again, the hospital will help with finding a program for you and referring you there, often taking care of the paperwork for you.
You have acknowledged you have a problem and wish to get help. This is the most important step. Please note: this will not be an easy journey, this will be difficult. You will have to work for it. You probably will have to change many things about yourself, including your thinking.
Good luck and I truly wish you the best. I am always happy when addicts get better, I grew up with an addict parent, and I know what it can do to yourself and others around you.
The good news is that it's not a hopeless cause, even though it might seem that way. I used to think that mine was.. totally genetic and thus incurable; that I was doomed to the same death-by-alcohol fate as many in my biological family, so why bother? The only people who can understand are those who've been through it and found a way to put the brakes on. It's worth testing out.. my test found the world a whole lot…
Mine actually was and I watched helplessly as one of my parents went to the brink of death before sobering up. It was a huge wake up call for me. I went cold turkey and never looked back.
I feel like I was lucky. It happened to me when I was at a crossroads. I had landed a nice corporate gig, finally had health insurance and a decent pay check. Everyone I worked with was like me. Young and loved to party. I could've easily gone either way.
After watching the near destruction of our family, I just felt like this was waiting for me if I kept going down the path I was on. In a sense, I was able to see my future before me, and had the wisdom to simply say, "This is not what I want. This is not something I want to put my future family through."
>>>> my test found the world a whole lot better with the brakes fully engaged at a complete stop, so that's where I've been for a while now.
Amen brother. Glad you found the strength and courage. Hopefully OP will too and make a go of it to get clean.
I've been dry for over 10 years and I don't touch the stuff at all, ever. For me, it was the only way I could and feel confident it wouldn't come back and get me.
Test for ADD/ADHD. Seriously. Many people with ADD/ADHD end up in the IT business. Drinking and drug problems, nicotine and caffeine addiction, high-risk behaviours and family issues are very common among ADD/ADHD people. The reason behind this: low dopamine and norepinefrine levels in the ADD/ADHD brain. Those low levels create a very high reward threshold, so people with ADD/ADHD tend to unconsciously seek for stro…
Let me cosign this. Tl;dr I'm a highly functional, auto-didactic freelance programmer and pothead. I get highly stimulated by everything from porn to "dangerous" activity like skateboarding, bouldering, gambling, alcohol and drugs. Yes. I've never been officially tested, think I slipped the early detection nets. I could read before I went to elementary. I surpassed everyone in basic calculus easily. Usually got bored…
I am interested on how you manage to get stuff done when smoking weed. I have tried to make weed a tool to manage my self, but its not just working for me. I get really confused in my head and do not manage to produce quality work when stoned. It also sometimes makes me super paranoid.
I'm an escapist. Whether it's movies, youtube, video games, literally anything that is unproductive, I'll spend an inordinate time doing. Luckily, I don't drink or do any drugs, but I might as well since I'm pissing my life away. It is as if I'm stuck in neutral. However, I do make just enough money to get by. The odd thing is that I can't pinpoint why I'm this way. It wasn't always like this. I guess reason doesn't…
I kind of obsess over some things (succulent plants, leather footwear recently) but that's the "most productive" my surfing entails. I feel like it's maybe my IT job, where I am idle all day and not challenged, that has trained me to do this sort of activity. I wish I could get a real job doing iOS development but until then I'm trying to fill my personal time with it.
It's even the case where the day is over and I realize I could have swept up my house or organized those papers or whatever. Kind of damning. But I think it's just that I bottom out sometimes after getting 5+ rejections from job applications.
I've TRIED escapism but for some reason I just can't suspend myself enough to get into it.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I'm in your same boat, nicotine is part of what makes me what I am, I feel totally depressed and unable to function without it (tried, for months). I followed your same trajectory (cigarettes -> ecigs), then found Swedish snus, much much simpler than ecigs (no batteries, liquids, etc.), 100+ yrs of history so no unknown long term side-effects, and all the nicotine you need plus some. You might want to give it a try,…
Snuus is linked to mouth and throat cancer IIRC. I'd try prepacked ecigs such as green smoke, they're more expensive than liquids but very convenient and same form factor as a cig.