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I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem

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Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem

#101

Post by Jack77 »

mkhattab wrote: post #40

I'm an escapist. Whether it's movies, youtube, video games, literally anything that is unproductive, I'll spend an inordinate time doing. Luckily, I don't drink or do any drugs, but I might as well since I'm pissing my life away. It is as if I'm stuck in neutral. However, I do make just enough money to get by. The odd thing is that I can't pinpoint why I'm this way. It wasn't always like this. I guess reason doesn't…

I had a similar problem and the only way I could get myself going was by getting a schedule and sticking to it. I only allow myself a certain amount of time a day to do the things I consider unproductive and thats it. Of course it's good to have balance and allow yourself time to just waste it can be become a problem and in my case it did.

Try starting small. At least an hour today of no wasting time on unproductive activities. Then increase gradually.

Might also be a good idea to add obstacles to these activities such as hiding the icon for your browser in five different folders before you can open it, deleting the facebook app on your smartphone, or even packing away you video game consoles. While a completely different theme, a book called the happiness advantage has a chapter on adding obstacles to nudge yourself in the right direction. http://www.amazon.com/The-Happiness-Advantage-Principles-Per...

Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem

#102

Post by EC1 »

mkhattab wrote: post #40

I'm an escapist. Whether it's movies, youtube, video games, literally anything that is unproductive, I'll spend an inordinate time doing. Luckily, I don't drink or do any drugs, but I might as well since I'm pissing my life away. It is as if I'm stuck in neutral. However, I do make just enough money to get by. The odd thing is that I can't pinpoint why I'm this way. It wasn't always like this. I guess reason doesn't…

Passion? I'm the same way. When I was a kid, coding 18 hours a day for weeks at a time wasn't a problem during summer vacations. Now, I have trouble with it. Full time job just DRAINS me, I don't want to do shit.

However, I discovered a passion. Illustration and UI/UX design for mobile. Every day after work I've been working an extra 8 hours because I found it so FUN.

So much so I have people working for me full time now and I'm quitting my job soon to follow my passion.

Maybe you haven't found your "calling" or something to get extraordinarily obsessed about?

Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem

#103

Post by berrypicker »

karon wrote: post #89
mattm wrote: post #6

I have struggled with porn at times and have done a lot of research on addictions. I also have a couple friends who are alcoholics. IMO, Gabor Mate has been the best resource I have found on understanding addictions. His theory is that addictions start in childhood due to some kind of constant, ongoing stress. It could be something like abusive parents or severe bullying. When we find something that temporarily relie…

Gabor Mate heals heroin addicts with two powerful psychedelic plants: Ayahuasca (DMT) and Iboga. I have been to a couple of Ayahuasca ceremonies in the past year, and I can report that - among its many awesome effects - it effectively resets your inner emotional "firmware", helping you cope with stressful situations and addictions much better (I had instantly quit smoking after the first ceremony.) Vipassana meditati…

I think during the 70s LSD was being used to rehab alcoholics, it's a shame such practices and psychedelics in general are all illegal now.. but ignoring the law, from what I've read and personal experience, LSD works well too.

Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem

#104

Post by homakov »

That's sad, but you are not doing drugs - you can quit easily, just do it! Try to do sports or stuff like that, travel.. Seriously, alcohol is disgusting if you drink it every day.

I have a hooker problem, no joke. Since we are talking about addictions here?

Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem

#105

Post by hhabgood »

mkhattab wrote: post #40

I'm an escapist. Whether it's movies, youtube, video games, literally anything that is unproductive, I'll spend an inordinate time doing. Luckily, I don't drink or do any drugs, but I might as well since I'm pissing my life away. It is as if I'm stuck in neutral. However, I do make just enough money to get by. The odd thing is that I can't pinpoint why I'm this way. It wasn't always like this. I guess reason doesn't…

I am in the same boat. It's actually really interesting, after some careful though, I've realized that I've cultivated a habit where I come home from work and watch TV while eating some dinner. Afterwards, I always plan on doing work.

The problem is, that habit of watching TV with dinner causes me to sit down and get sucked into my TV habit. For example, last night I decided to do that and ended up watching 3 episodes of random shows and then going to bed, instead of doing what I wanted to do.

When I eat dinner and listen to a podcast, I still have a bit of an urge to watch TV but I find it much easier to sit down and get to work afterwards.

Maybe you have this type of habit in your own life? Try thinking about what you do every day when you come home from work, and identify your 'triggers'. If it's like mine and you are watching TV while eating dinner, listen to/watch a podcast or TED talk instead. If you end up spending a ton of time on YouTube or Facebook, set up something like SelfControl (or the PC equivalent Cold Turkey) to make sure that you can't use those things during times that you have blocked off for work.

For mac users, here's a list of stuff that you can use (note that I'm not vouching for any app in particular, but they all seem useful to someone): http://mac.appstorm.net/roundups/productivity-roundups/15-ma...

Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem

#106

Post by icholboy »

FWIW I used these techniques to overcome tobacco addiction and stress related mental/physical problems:

i) Sport, cannot be stressed enough how benefitial it is for human body any kind of regular sport activity ii) Change of current habits, which might be in turn conducting you to your current situation iii) Travel for an extended period or regularly, will effectively break your acquired habits and may open your mind to new ideas (it changes the perspective) iv) the jacobson method of progressive muscle relaxation, which can be as effective as anti-depressants and that's no marketing talk. at least it worked for me. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Progressive_muscle_relaxation

Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem

#107

Post by norswap »

homakov wrote: post #104

That's sad, but you are not doing drugs - you can quit easily, just do it! Try to do sports or stuff like that, travel.. Seriously, alcohol is disgusting if you drink it every day. I have a hooker problem, no joke. Since we are talking about addictions here?

Alcohol is addictive. More so than pot for instance, which is often classified as a drug. To be honest, alcohol is a drug also. This is not just my impression: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Substance_dependence#Addictive_...

Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem

#108

Post by ama729 »

homakov wrote: post #104

That's sad, but you are not doing drugs - you can quit easily, just do it! Try to do sports or stuff like that, travel.. Seriously, alcohol is disgusting if you drink it every day. I have a hooker problem, no joke. Since we are talking about addictions here?

The only difference between alcohol and "drugs" is that alcohol is legal. It's one of the most addicting drugs you can find[1].

Withdrawing alcohol improperly can also lead to permanent brain damage and death[2].

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Rational_scale_to_assess_... [2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcohol_withdrawal_syndrome#Pr...

Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem

#109

Post by stinos »

homakov wrote: post #104

That's sad, but you are not doing drugs - you can quit easily, just do it! Try to do sports or stuff like that, travel.. Seriously, alcohol is disgusting if you drink it every day. I have a hooker problem, no joke. Since we are talking about addictions here?

That's sad, but you are not doing drugs

serisously, this nonsense has to stop. Alcohol = drugs and whoever tells otherwise doesn't properly understand what drugs are and how they work on your mind and body. Note: I tried a lot of stuff out there, and in the end alcohol is just one of the others, sole difference being it's 'accepted', sort of (btw same is true for quite a lot of the prescription things as well)

- you can quit easily

it's not that easy at all, highly depends on your mindset

just do it!

at least that makes sense :]

Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem

#110

Post by klibertp »

Tyrannosaurs wrote: post #45
seanhandley wrote: post #34

Or.... you could practice moderation? Alcohol does not make you into a problem. You make yourself into a problem, and lump alcohol in with all the other things that you could blame it on. Grow up. Be accountable to yourself. Don't externalise blame.

Out of interest (genuinely) do you also think people suffering from depression should just pull themselves together?

I downvoted GP assuming that indeed the GP would tell a depressed person to "stop externalising a blame" and "grow up".

Which is actually quite a good advice for depressed people. Repeat it enough times and watch suicide rate grow rapidly... And depression rates declining!

On a more serious note, people need to understand that the perceived "only in the mind" problems are actually illnesses which are much more deadly than many physiological ones. And that, by telling such things as "stop externalising a blame" (which depressed person doesn't do, anyway), you become partially responsible for the suicide if it happens. Yes, YOU GP are responsible, stop externalizing a blame and live with it. Or better yet, stop spouting nonsense.

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