Please find a meeting near you. http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/
Religion is no better substitute to alcoholism!
I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem
11–20 of 243 posts
Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem
#12I hope it does get better for you
My mother died when I was in my early 20s after years of addiction to alcohol.
She had her ups too, which made it hard for all of us to see everything fall apart again and again.
Until there was no coming back.
No AA, family support and interventions unfortunately ever helped her long term.
I hope you will find some reason to quit, even if it's just knowing that you can get your kids back - even if it takes many years.
It took me many years to "forgive" my parents (they died within 6 months of each other), realising there was no forgiving needed - they had their struggle and unfortunately failed.
Still saddens me that my own kids have will never know their grandparents.
I hope you will live to enjoy your grandchildren.
Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem
#13I struggle with nicotine, caffeine, and porn. I take Chantix and run at the gym which in combination helps a great deal, but I still relapse now and then on the nicotine. The others I seem to have overcome completely. I had to change my life and I also found spirituality, something I had denied due to insecurity and unwillingness to accept others. I wish you luck.
I had a gap in my professional career where I didn't code nor worked with computers very much and I saw a decrease in addictive behavior. Can we blame programming or isolation when coding, is this a professional disability? Too bad that there is no real interest in studying this issues from a psychological/sociological point of view.
I am thinking to move to India or Nepal somewhere near temples to clear my mind and body with books and stuff, Am I doing right ?
Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem
#14Test for ADD/ADHD. Seriously.
Many people with ADD/ADHD end up in the IT business. Drinking and drug problems, nicotine and caffeine addiction, high-risk behaviours and family issues are very common among ADD/ADHD people.
The reason behind this: low dopamine and norepinefrine levels in the ADD/ADHD brain. Those low levels create a very high reward threshold, so people with ADD/ADHD tend to unconsciously seek for strong or risky stimulus.
HTH
Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem
#15Please find a meeting near you. http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/
No, please don't. http://skepfeeds.wordpress.com/2009/02/04/alcoholics-anonymo... There are more effective, non religious, evidence based treatments for addiction. Edited to add: Penn and Teller covered AA here: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yUG9dr6SZSY Also: http://www.psmag.com/navigation/books-and-culture/75-years-a...
I'd recommend these guys - https://rational.org/index.php?id=1
Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem
#16Wow, I'm impressed some of you guys share information about your personal weaknesses. AFAIK this is one of the big steps towards dealing with your problem, so congratulations already.
Also, FWIW, my wife is a behavioral therapist and already treated a number of addicted people. She says you learn this kind of "bad" behaviors if, given a problem, they are the "only" or "most successful" behaviors you know and you repeat them for a long time.
Treatment then is to identify
- why you think it's the only behavior you know or the most appropriate
- what your definition of a "successful behavior" is
- what are other appropriate behaviors
- how to deal with situations in which your "bad behavior" usually occurs and how to substitute the bad by one of the good ones.
Disclaimer: I have no psychological background whatsoever, this is just my view on the things.
Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem
#17Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem
#18My father died of alcoholism and whatever we said to him or do wouldn't change a thing in his mind. That's a very strong addiction and he didn't stop even when doctors told him he's in terminal phase. I believe the change has to come from inside of you and you must identify where it all started and what was it's trigger and treat that first.
I have nicotine issues but I stopped smoking in favor of e-cigs. Nicotine is not that bad, the cigs are killing you not nicotine itself.
I also find doing sport to change my mentality a lot. You start looking different, you value yourself more when your body changes and you won't want to go back. Give it a try. Good luck to you!
Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem
#19As someone who likes a smoke (Weed & Cigarettes) and is currently trying to lead a healthier life I feel your pain buddy!
Have you ever tried just cutting down? Even just a little bit? I don't believe in this "Just stop and never drink again" rubbish I think it has to be done in baby steps.
Anyway, hope you're okay and whatever you do don't go the religion route. It's a dangerous path to tread especially with the types who run these things.
Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem
#20I hope you will feel better.
My problem is simply I can't go to bed on time. I try many times, forcing myself to go to bed but I just can't. I always stay up late and even when I feel sleepy I can stay awake =. I am getting tired of staying awake all the time. :(