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Ask HN: Is it me or ...?

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Ask HN: Is it me or ...?

#1

Post by neutralino1 »

Hi all,

I am a developer and I have worked at a few startups which I have subsequently quit.

Everytime I get hired by a company, I am 100% motivated and committed. I specifically choose companies whose business I find appealing. I am not an executant who can simply code anything for anyone. I like to work for projects I support. I care more about the project than about the salary and benefits. I suppose that's the case for most of us.

However, it seems after a year or two in the company, the honeymoon period ends and the only thing I can see is the bullshit coming out of management's mouth. Bogus business plans, inability to close deals, short-sighted decisions, petty management techniques, overly frequent pivots, you name it...

Am I 1/ Bad at choosing my jobs, 2/ Too demanding towards the companies that hire me, 3/ Mentally unstable, 4/ Unrealistic, 5/ Just a normal bullshit intolerant guy ?

Is there any way I can find a boss I respect beyond a couple of years?

Tell me about your experiences. Thank you.

Re: Ask HN: Is it me or ...?

#2

Post by trumbitta2 »

I'd go with a combination of 1/ and 2/. Most of us are like you.

In 14 years I learned to:

- low my expectancies

- do my job always at 100%, but not 110% (save rare occasions)

- live a life outside work (mine, btw, is a life of wife, side-projects, and mmorpg)

Re: Ask HN: Is it me or ...?

#4

Post by pekk »

Isn't it OK to change jobs every now and then?

Publicizing this kind of thing is usually bad, especially when you have had the same experience several times. If your account is publicly identifiable as you I'd delete this post

Re: Ask HN: Is it me or ...?

#5

Post by seventytwo »

There's probably a honeymoon phase for the management as well. There's a reason why corporations have the structures and controls they do - they work at those levels. As a company grows, it will tend to gravitate towards those. Otherwise, if the company is struggling or failing, there may be some cognitive dissonance from management which gets translated into the bullshit doublespeak you're talking about.

Re: Ask HN: Is it me or ...?

#6

Post by neutralino1 »

trumbitta2 wrote: post #2

I'd go with a combination of 1/ and 2/. Most of us are like you. In 14 years I learned to: - low my expectancies - do my job always at 100%, but not 110% (save rare occasions) - live a life outside work (mine, btw, is a life of wife, side-projects, and mmorpg)

Thank you for your comment.

I have a very active life outside. I just wish I could subscribe to a project for longer than a couple of years.

Re: Ask HN: Is it me or ...?

#7

Post by mbillie1 »

trumbitta2 wrote: post #2

I'd go with a combination of 1/ and 2/. Most of us are like you. In 14 years I learned to: - low my expectancies - do my job always at 100%, but not 110% (save rare occasions) - live a life outside work (mine, btw, is a life of wife, side-projects, and mmorpg)

I think this is honestly good advice. Every employer will want you to live for your job, but for the vast majority of human beings this is not realistic. There's nothing wrong with doing a good job and then going and living a fulfilling life from 5pm to 9am.

Re: Ask HN: Is it me or ...?

#8

Post by alecco »

We might be in the wrong culture. My friends in [anglo country X] say it's amazing over there. I think it's they have higher empathy and saner goals

Over here, businessmen give you the "you can't make an omelette without breaking eggs" speech after they screw you. This was their real goal from day 1, it's just they have to sort of believe their lies to make you believe in them. Same old trick from con men and salesmen.

Never take promises from a businessman, always get it on paper. And even so, you might not get it (e.g. bankruptcy protection). The only exception is if you have done business with them for over a decade and they depend on you and their reputation.

Re: Ask HN: Is it me or ...?

#9

Post by smoyer »

It doesn't really matter which of those I think you are ... you need to decide and act accordingly. I will tell you that I've been in your situation many times and my response is to fight against the behaviors that seem to cause you to switch jobs. If you're not willing to play at least a little politics at your workplace, you're going to have a tough time staying at almost any job.

Re: Ask HN: Is it me or ...?

#10

Post by allworknoplay »

Whether you're 1/2/3/4/5, you're not alone.

My dad has worked at the same company since he dropped out of college around 40 years ago (he runs it now). I do think our generation's (well, I'm 32, don't know about you) job goals are a lot different and a lot more conducive to short-term jobs, and I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with that. I tend to place maximum value on doing real work and self improvement, and lots of meetings and doing the same work for years aren't the best way to achieve these (fundamentally unachievable) goals.

But even more than that, I think a major problem is that startups are companies that are by definition changing ceaselessly. They're either growing or belt tightening, adding new people who need to be managed even if the team is still functional. The emphasis goes from core product building to scaling and optimizing. Etc.

So, it might be sort of you, but it may also just be the nature of the work. Don't take it too hard.

I have a friend who's... hard to work with? He changes jobs a ton. But his strategy has evolved from 'join a team then get frustrated' to 'join a project, know what you're going to work on, add a ton of value, then maybe find another project at the same company, or not.' It's kind of mercenary but can be really valuable to both parties if you play it right, and keeps him from feeing miserable.

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