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I am burned out while still in learning phase

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Re: I am burned out while still in learning phase

#51

It sounds like you are trying too hard to feel validated and you want immediate success. You have written a very long piece including your entire background, the success of your peers compared to yourself, the positions and awards you have gotten in various competitions (for better or worse). You sound entirely focused on accolades and achievements yet you have only been going at this for at most 1/2 years. You need…

I'm in OP's shoes, except at 28. Nothing motivates me better than the thought of hitting 30. :)

Dont worry, you dont actually feel it when you hit 30. But I get the feeling you are talking about.

I started programming relatively late, mid-twenties, and started as a CS student when I was 28. For the first two years I had this idea that I had to be faster and better than the younger students, to have a chance. But the world doesnt work that way. What matters is to try and figure out what you actually want to do, and then spend the time it takes to do it.

Re: I am burned out while still in learning phase

#52

You're burning out because you're thinking the world works the same way that you experience it through lenses like Hacker News, tech blogs and the like. Stop reading them. Seriously, they are damaging your world view - ESPECIALLY HACKER NEWS. If you can't read these things with a critical eye, you will end up in a death spiral where you feel constantly inadaquate. I speak from some personal experience here... Turn of…

This is wonderful advice and feedback. I agree with kirklove that is sheer wisdom. I know that "right on!" feedback like I'm giving here is adding nothing, but an up-vote is not enough. Thank you blindhippo.

Re: I am burned out while still in learning phase

#53
The Hacker looks at the 'general public', and believes their ways are somehow dumb, and inadequate. His own eyes, however, have been opened, when he understood the power that the Computer holds. His kind – the Hackers – are the only ones who understand how the Computer works, and he believes his mission is to use this power for good – rather than evil. His mission, hence, is to use the weird, esoteric ways of the Compiler to deliver his tribe – his 'general public' – to an upgraded way of living. If he does this, he would have vindicated his sin of possessing forbidden knowledge. The tale goes that the Gods of the tech world – Google, Facebook, eBay or PayPal – may become interested in the Hacker's work and his courage, and hence acquire his start up. Then, the Hacker may finally be given permission to rejoin humanity, as a Prince of the tech world; and he may then do anything he wants.

This is the 'Hacker Script', and it is one script of the many that people have lived. This script's directive is: "Build something great, and then you may have permission to rejoin humanity." The script blocker, as it is generally the case, comes through an insurgency against the authority that tries to tell you what to do. Do what you want, be independent, don't let someone tell you you've failed. Be creative, be independent, be spontaneous, be aware. Good luck.

Re: I am burned out while still in learning phase

#54
Been there 20 years ago. Almost dropped out of CS on my last year, average dropped from 3.8 to 1.5 at the time.

Your mentor has my vote. Drop out, rebuild yourself first and foremost. You have successfully learned to work, but you haven't learned to live. Your work has become an obstacle, so no'w the time to relearn to live, love and laugh. Then you can think of working and building on what you know.

Good luck mate.

Re: I am burned out while still in learning phase

#55
post #8

Like you, I also have "world changing" ideas to make people's lives easier and healthier I hear that a lot in the startup scene where I live. It's bullshit. First and foremost, an idea is never world-changing. It's the execution of the idea that changes things. Until it has been executed successfully and actually changed the world , all it is is an idea. The impact can only be assessed later. Secondly, most people do…

I'm not sure I agree with this:

     "First and foremost, an idea is never world-changing. It's the execution of the idea that changes things. Until it has been executed successfully and actually changed the world, all it is is an idea. The impact can only be assessed later."
Frankly, I believe ideas can be quite impactful. Think of any math concept. Weren't they ideas? Where's the execution? Or more philosophical terms, such as panta rei, "The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.", "communism" etc, aren't those ideas?

My point is that I think boundaries are not as defined. Unless we spend some time defining "idea".

but on the general "stop whining, start doing" underlying message I do agree 100%.

Re: I am burned out while still in learning phase

#57
I bought a PC 5 years back with obsession to create cartoons

What happened to cartooning? Do you do it at all anymore? As much as you might love what you're doing, you can't have just one thing in your life.

I managed to burn myself out on programming/hacking at 15 years old. It had been my only obsession since I first got my hands on a computer. One day I realized I was sick of it. My eyes were always bloodshot. I wasn't sleeping. I had no friends. I didn't even go to school.

I did my best not to look at a computer screen for six years. I picked up a guitar and played obsessively. I explored new career paths when it came time for college. I almost went in to the medical field. I exhausted my options, and finally came back to tech.

Everything was new and amazing. I felt so inspired. I had never seen a SATA connector before. I had never played with virtualization. It was like living in the future. It pained me a little to know I'd missed so much development, but I caught up quickly.

Now I have two things in my life: tech and music. When feelings of failure, inadequacy, and burnout arise, I pick up my guitar and go do an open mic night. It's my ego's failover.

Go back to cartooning. Switch your obsession for a while. It's still okay to obsess, just do it over something else. Become confident in your skills and sell drawings on the street for $5; do anything to boost your ego a little. You'll come back to hacking. There's time.

Re: I am burned out while still in learning phase

#58

I also seeked medical help but got disappointed by suggestions like "sleep a lot and eat well". That helps but not in the long run; neither can prevent this situation from happening in future. It does help, even more in the long run.

Yes! The key to convincing yourself of this is to admit to yourself how little productivity you get out of staying up and how much productivity you get out of feeling halfway decent because you've had sleep. If you don't know this to be true, measure it. Make a spreadsheet in google docs. Three columns:

date, HopedToGetDoneByStayingUp, GotDoneByStayingUp

The results will speak for themselves.

Re: I am burned out while still in learning phase

#59
I get the impression you've created and become fixated on some notion about what you're "supposed" to know / do based on and relative to what you see online.

Basically, A tech-centric version of Facebook angst - "Everyone is hackier than me!" in place of "Everyone is happier than me!"

Understand that in either case you're getting a carefully curated version of the best and most interesting outcomes with all the countless failures and mundane daily struggles neatly cropped out.

Stop reading the news, keep learning and keep iterating.

Re: I am burned out while still in learning phase

#60

You're burning out because you're thinking the world works the same way that you experience it through lenses like Hacker News, tech blogs and the like. Stop reading them. Seriously, they are damaging your world view - ESPECIALLY HACKER NEWS. If you can't read these things with a critical eye, you will end up in a death spiral where you feel constantly inadaquate. I speak from some personal experience here... Turn of…

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