Its interesting to hear from someone who's more of a hobbyist programmer. You don't meet so many, mainly I think because once you become half-decent at programming you have access to a range of well paid jobs. Of course as you say, those jobs come with certain conditions that aren't for everybody. I've often thought of quitting professional programming and it to become a hobby instead. I think sometimes great things…
I'm a hobbyist programmer, but I'm able to use my programming in my work - even though it's not strictly related. Programming skills can be a nice extra to a creative or administrative skillset, especially in smaller & boutique companies.
Anyway, for me, programming has always been something I do, not something I am... I think this might lead to the exclusionary nature of our field a bit - I know I've looked around and seeing people who identify as programmers, not really doing the same, and wondering if I belong...