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What Dreams May Come

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Re: What Dreams May Come

#381

Post by franl »

gbhn wrote: post #320
300bps wrote: post #312

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm in IT but I am also a CFA charter holder (Chartered Financial Analyst). I disagree wholeheartedly on your assertions on whole life. I have only seen whole life be an appropriate investment vehicle for very wealthy families that are doing estate planning. There may be other times where whole life is appropriate but I don't know what they are. In almost all circumstances someone would be better off buying term insu…

Definitely unbundle your life insurance and investments. The only reason I can think of for coupling them is just shy of fraud. -- someone who once got sold a whole life policy

Out of curiosity, which insurance company was it? How long after getting the policy did you cancel it? What made you cancel?

Re: What Dreams May Come

#383

Post by karmajunkie »

glaugh wrote: post #206
jreed91 wrote: post #191

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm glad you mentioned this. My father just recently passed away from this terrible disease. But if this was just a few years ago he would of had almost zero treatment options. So many new treatment options are coming out. Be sure to get with a specialist they are the only ones who really understand this disease. Also look into PD-1 inhibitors they are only in clinical trials but have shown a lot of promise as well.…

As of yesterday, PD-1 drugs are now available for compassionate use, too: http://smh.com.au/national/bittersweet-victory-for-save-lock... They have pretty absurdly high success rates.

and it was only a couple of months ago that BRAF and MEK combo therapies were FDA approved... after decades of melanoma being a diagnosis without a lot of hope, the last couple of years have seen some really amazing advances.

Re: What Dreams May Come

#384

Post by aestra »

look_lookatme wrote: post #353
gwern wrote: post #313

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Seems like a reasonable summary of positive psychology to me: experiences and people, not things.

A van and a house purchased under the expectation that you aren't going to die at 35 doesn't seem like negative excess. I don't know what branch of psychology castigating people that have more than you falls under, though.

When one runs into financial problems one cuts back first rather than keeping their lifestyle up.

My point was he's putting material objects before time with his family.

Re: What Dreams May Come

#385

Post by aestra »

darthclue wrote: post #368
aestra wrote: post #176

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think he is just comfortable with his life and can't see out of his own worldview. He believes these things are "bare necessities." This is why I have trouble relating to the middle and upper class and especially this guy. I grew up poor. Really poor. My friends in the neighborhood had to live without electricity some times because they got shut off because their parents couldn't pay the bill. I thought we were pre…

Comfortable? Yes. Out of touch with you and your poor friends? You know nothing of my life. I've worked my ass of to get where I am and while you may find our expenses excessive I would point out that they are what meet our needs and keeps us financially secure. Do I like asking for help? Hell no. As a matter of fact, this has been one of the hardest parts of this whole process. As I've been forced to accept that I w…

>the cost of a funeral? Have you priced these recently? They aren't cheap no matter how you look at it.

Yes, I have. We spent 10 grand on my grandmas funeral and she had per bought her plot. Still a luxury item. If it were my choice I would never do that, but it wasn't my choice. Nobody needs an expensive funeral, come on. Wedding and funerals are now overrun by their respective industries trying to sell sell sell. Inventing new things you "need."

See these for more:

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/525561.The_American_Way_o...

http://funeral-tips.com/how-to-plan-an-affordable-funeral-2/

>Without a home, she moves in with her parents.

Or you know, rent.

>Without the van, she has no way to provide for the basic needs of our children like taking them to the doctor.

You don't need a $20,000 van to take your kids to the doctor, you can do it in a $10,000 van. You however don't want to downgrade. My point was you're putting the expensive van (which requires a car payment) over spending your money on experiences with your wife and children.

>need to go down to the nearest shelter and volunteer

I do my volunteer work, though not at a homeless shelter. I also donate lots of toiletries to our local homeless shelter on a regular basis. In my adult life I've also been around, befriended, and talked to many many homeless people and people with significant health problems due to the places I've been.

>I can only hope you have people in your life who you care about enough to actually think before you act in the event of your death.

I made my wishes very very clear. I would like to be cremated as soon as possible. No embalming. I don't want onlookers gawking at my dead body and no stupid funeral home upgrades. I've said it here in this comment: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7391663 I think my friends and family should then throw a party honoring my life if they choose to.

I did something similar with my wedding and stayed out of the wedding industry almost completely. I had an out of touch friend say "You have to spend over $20,000 on a wedding and I was getting the base packages!" um... no... If you stop with the consumerism then you realize that isn't the case at all.

A family friend died while his kids were out of the country. They cremated him right away and waited for the kids to get back to have an event to celebrate his life. It was in a park and it was a wonderful tribute.

>this is about security and easing the pain of my death

Cutting back your lifestyle will provide much more financial security now and in the future.

>we have memories in this house and in that van

They are just things. Objects. Stuff.

Re: What Dreams May Come

#386

Post by syntheticnature »

baby wrote: post #347
syntheticnature wrote: post #285

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Just burn me" isn't cheap -- heck, this example from else-thread is worse than what I found with some research: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7393011 Also, your family and friends might want to see you before science does whatever with you, and that will cost more than any of us would like to think it will. Funerals aren't cheap, and I was told when buying life insurance to expect all funeral expenses (viewin…

Wait, if my familly wants to bring me to some woods and burn me in a fire, can't they just do it?

Laws on disposal of bodies tend to be fairly strongly-worded for reasons rational and otherwise. I'd check before making such an assumption.

Re: What Dreams May Come

#387

Post by maaku »

darthclue wrote: post #74

Jonathan here. Being woke up by my wife crying because the donations just aren't stopping is both heart-breaking and comforting. For those of you who haven't seen the 'Bucket List' post, here's what it says at the very top: As I try to deal with the reality that is my impending death I can't help but wonder how many things I might have been able to accomplish given just a little more time. When I was diagnosed, I had…

You are missing a bitcoin donation address. I suggest fixing that.

Re: What Dreams May Come

#389

Post by x0x0 »

300bps wrote: post #181
darthclue wrote: post #74

Jonathan here. Being woke up by my wife crying because the donations just aren't stopping is both heart-breaking and comforting. For those of you who haven't seen the 'Bucket List' post, here's what it says at the very top: As I try to deal with the reality that is my impending death I can't help but wonder how many things I might have been able to accomplish given just a little more time. When I was diagnosed, I had…

I was happy to make a donation. This hits close to home because my wife was diagnosed with Stage 0 Melanoma-in-situ when she was 35 years old. We have three kids of our own and imagining them growing up without their mother is terrifying. Fortunately, we caught it at Stage 0 though which has a 100% cure rate. So let me stand up on the soapbox for a minute: Everyone should go to a dermatologist every year for an all-o…

I'm the son of a parent who died well before I graduated high school. I hate to say it, but $500k isn't nearly enough unless you're in a very low cost of living state. Even if the surviving parent makes a good wage, you will have a surge of childcare expenses. And if the surviving parent wasn't the primary earner that's when you really need the insurance. The thing lots of people don't consider is that you may not die from a car accident where shit just happened. If someone should be unlucky enough to get cancer, you may face several years of illness with not only reduced income or disability pay but an astounding amount of money spent on medical treatment. Just for starters, insurance will not cover eg childcare for young children while parent #1 is sleeping at the hospital while parent #2 is recovering from surgery or chemo or radiation or whatever it may be.

From my experiences as the oldest of several kids, $1mm is really the minimum and it's worth a quick talk with an attorney to not only have (1) a will; (2) a written discussion ahead of time of what you want to have happen if you or your SO should ever be severely injured (see eg the Terri Schiavo debacle); (3) a discussion of who you would like to have raise your kids should both parents be injured; (4) tax avoidance strategies should someone die early.

These are all unpleasant things.

The other thing you may find shocking is how long it takes to get a death certificate issued / the challenges getting access to accounts held only in a single name. Maybe our experiences where unusual but you should not be surprised if it takes 3-6 months to get some of these things sorted. Not to mention the surviving family are usually an emotional wreck.

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