'I was bullied and beaten every day. Programming saved my life'
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Re: 'I was bullied and beaten every day. Programming saved my life'
#2Great read and even greater story, thank you for sharing!
When I read stories like this a small part of me wishes that I were there to beat up the bullies, to be his friend and to end the pain.
The another part of me tries to put myself in his shoes and wonder what type of support system I would have needed in order to replicate his success from freeing himself of the bullying.
Then, an even separate part of me thinks about what I can do to prevent this from happening to kids in the future.
I don't know which part of myself to side with, but I do know that I appreciate him telling his story and I am glad that he was able to persevere from. Good on you. Shame on your classmates.
Re: 'I was bullied and beaten every day. Programming saved my life'
#3Yet one more great undervoted post I've seen in HN. No, I didn't identify myself with the bullying story (thankfully), but with the freedom and self-expression he found on programming.
Re: 'I was bullied and beaten every day. Programming saved my life'
#4I am 37,I am fat and I am not programmer and I have been bullied for 20 years.I just became CEO of my own software firm finally and it doesnt do that well but I am fine,I feel life is far more easier and simpler, no more bullying.
I have few recommendations: 1.Never lower your selfesteem, no matter what the idea of bullying is to kill selfesteem and watch you crumble. 2.No matter what anybody says including your own mind never ever feel down,life is beautiful as it is...you are this remarkable human(all humans) who functions with 1 billion neurons .... 3.Its just a thought to give up and its just another thought to see how remarkable life is....these bullies of today or failures of tommorrow. 5.I can show you countless examples how bullying created a false confidence in them and then when life started to really hitback the bullies just didnt know to deal with they became utter failures, we who are bullied are prepared for life either ways,I think I am much more stronger and much better prepared on a positive side.Also I tend to go and support anybody who needs help.
6.If ever you need help in counseling and getting back into confidence, I am always open,I am part time motivational speaker:).
Re: 'I was bullied and beaten every day. Programming saved my life'
#5I am 37,I am fat and I am not programmer and I have been bullied for 20 years.I just became CEO of my own software firm finally and it doesnt do that well but I am fine,I feel life is far more easier and simpler, no more bullying. I have few recommendations: 1.Never lower your selfesteem, no matter what the idea of bullying is to kill selfesteem and watch you crumble. 2.No matter what anybody says including your own…
It's easy to say 'dont cruble', but your self esteem will go down if you cant find any help. I had some similar trouble in a primary school, and fortunately it ended after moving to another school, but it took a long time until i realized the problem was not in me.
Re: 'I was bullied and beaten every day. Programming saved my life'
#6A powerful reminder that our society still doesn't offer adequate protection, even of their basic right to safety, to all its members.
Re: 'I was bullied and beaten every day. Programming saved my life'
#7Yep, exactly. You go to the adults, and they don't help you at all. So you stand up for yourself, and now you're the one in trouble. I can't possibly think of a more backwards model for encouraging bullying.
Even with the punishments, I've always been prouder and happier when I stood up for myself. So do that anyway. It doesn't stop the bullying, but it does reduce it somewhat and you gain more respect for yourself. You'll probably lose in a fight, but no matter how weak you are, anyone can inflict at least some level of pain on an aggressor.
It's truly sad the way so many kids have to deal with this, yet nothing is ever really done about it.
Unlike you, I would have changed it all. I would have worked out constantly, and made a name for myself as the crazy guy you didn't mess with, because he'd flip out completely.
But as bad as it is, at least take solace that you could go home in peace. Imagine also having a 300lb abusive bully at home that denied you any access to technology, even with your own hard-earned money. My solace was counting down each day to 18, and occasionally sneaking off to public libraries to use their computers for a bit. A lot of my programming I learned from reading books, and the mandatory graphing calculators for math class. At 16-17, I saved up for a laptop, and would use it in the parking lots of retail stores while pretending to be at work.
But as others are saying, it gets a lot better. I make $70k/yr now, total household income is 120k/yr, have a nice house and cars, and all that. The worst I have to deal with anymore are the occasional trolls online.
Re: 'I was bullied and beaten every day. Programming saved my life'
#8Is it sad that I saw this post and immediately thought, "Well, that doesn't reflect well on programmers..", thinking that our status as a group is already quite low.
* Speaking as someone who has experienced quite a fair share of bullying, such that it makes me trepidatious in most social situations, waiting and ever expecting the first arrow.
^ probably a self-fulfilling prophecy, which turns it into "my fault". if anyone has successfully overcome this please reach out!
- just donated £10 to the charity at http://www.beatbullying.org .. which is (broken-linked) at the bottom of the op
Re: 'I was bullied and beaten every day. Programming saved my life'
#9Yep, exactly. You go to the adults, and they don't help you at all. So you stand up for yourself, and now you're the one in trouble. I can't possibly think of a more backwards model for encouraging bullying. Even with the punishments, I've always been prouder and happier when I stood up for myself. So do that anyway. It doesn't stop the bullying, but it does reduce it somewhat and you gain more respect for yourself.…
Unfortunately bullying by its nature is not a very popular political issue.
Conservatives (somewhat correctly) consider bullying to be part of how society maintains is social structure.
Progressives only consider bullying through the lens of oppressed groups, not individuals who are targeted for their perceived/actual difference or weakness. They don't identify with individual rights and self-defense as these are seen as libertarian issues.
Furthermore, to admit to being bullied as often interpreted as admitting to weakness. That is why it is easier to champion people who have some extrinsic reason for being bullied (e.g. being gay, or some other minority).
However, I suspect the severity of bullying is gradually lowering simply as a result of society becoming more prosperous and adopting middle class lifestyles and values.
Re: 'I was bullied and beaten every day. Programming saved my life'
#10Yep, exactly. You go to the adults, and they don't help you at all. So you stand up for yourself, and now you're the one in trouble. I can't possibly think of a more backwards model for encouraging bullying. Even with the punishments, I've always been prouder and happier when I stood up for myself. So do that anyway. It doesn't stop the bullying, but it does reduce it somewhat and you gain more respect for yourself.…
Unfortunately bullying by its nature is not a very popular political issue. Conservatives (somewhat correctly) consider bullying to be part of how society maintains is social structure. Progressives only consider bullying through the lens of oppressed groups , not individuals who are targeted for their perceived/actual difference or weakness. They don't identify with individual rights and self-defense as these are se…
I am not quite sure of your definition of 'somewhat' however giving a mild amount of justification for treating others wrongly simply bc they don't confirm to your standards of 'correctness' is not justifiable.