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My mom is dying, and my bank account is dry. I need help

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Re: My mom is dying, and my bank account is dry. I need help

#141

Post by krisdol »

brenschluss wrote: post #30
lobotryas wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

To me it sounds like you never had a long-term plan for the treatment or your own future. You jumped in, blew your savings, and now you're stuck. It's too late for "could-have, should-have", but if you somehow manage to procure more money, at least consider alternatives such as slower treatment schedules or flying your mother to a country where such treatments are cheaper (India comes to mind as a potential option)[0…

>To me it sounds like you never had a long-term plan for the treatment or your own future. You jumped in, blew your savings, and now you're stuck. You think that the OP is to blame for not having a long-term plan for a scenario in which one's very close family member is diagnosed with a previously unknown disease and $150k is not enough to take care of that? You think this is an instance of poor planning on the OP's…

Welcome to aynrand.org, err, hackernews.

Re: My mom is dying, and my bank account is dry. I need help

#142

Post by benched »

ars wrote: post #48
meritt wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Because on-going treatment for a terminally-ill patient is not something the hospital will continue to do without being paid. They would cut her off.

No they won't. The people doing the treatment and the billing department don't talk to each other. She might not be able to be transferred to another hospital if there are outstanding bills, but once inside the hospital they can't refuse to treat. Plus this is exactly why medicaid exists. She would qualify easily.

Since I see people suggesting Medicaid all over the thread. It seems there is a basic pervasive misunderstanding of government services in the US. For anyone who doesn't realize it, it is very difficult to qualify for Medicaid. Even if you miraculously qualify for it objectively, which can be derailed if you own anything or you or someone in your immediate family has an income, but even if you should qualify, the nuts and bolts process of applying, documenting, and in some cases liquidating your assets can be so daunting that it's common for people to hire lawyers just for this. If you're already busy dying, it can be fairly discouraging. Good job taking care of your own, Land of Opportunity. Make sure nobody accidentally gets anything unless their back is to the grindstone of capitalism.

Re: My mom is dying, and my bank account is dry. I need help

#143

Post by staunch »

renata wrote: post #127
staunch wrote: post #65

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Like this? http://www.patientnavigator.com/get-help-now/ "Navigation Services – $125/hr" -- at that price it may as well not exist.

Exactly how much do you think is fair for "amazingly great people" who "[are] expert[s] on The System" and "can oversee your entire healthcare"? Some contractors on HN no doubt get paid more for less.

It's not about what people get paid, it's about what you charge. If you're charging $125/hr you're not going to be helping nearly as many people as you could.

Re: My mom is dying, and my bank account is dry. I need help

#144

Post by [deleted] »

benched wrote: post #142
ars wrote: post #48

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No they won't. The people doing the treatment and the billing department don't talk to each other. She might not be able to be transferred to another hospital if there are outstanding bills, but once inside the hospital they can't refuse to treat. Plus this is exactly why medicaid exists. She would qualify easily.

Since I see people suggesting Medicaid all over the thread. It seems there is a basic pervasive misunderstanding of government services in the US. For anyone who doesn't realize it, it is very difficult to qualify for Medicaid. Even if you miraculously qualify for it objectively, which can be derailed if you own anything or you or someone in your immediate family has an income, but even if you should qualify, the nut…

[deleted]

Re: My mom is dying, and my bank account is dry. I need help

#145

Post by nickff »

rl3 wrote: post #89

> Does my family qualify for assistance? No. Plain and simple. Can you elaborate on this? Prestigious, well-endowed, non-profit hospitals - typically major university medical centers - usually have the most robust financial assistance programs available. Most of them will simply write off the cost of your treatment if you really can't afford it. I can't say for sure how it works for terminally ill cancer patients, bu…

From what I have read, the for-profit hospitals spend the same or more resources on helping financially strapped patients compared to their non-profit counterparts.[1]

[1] http://www.cbo.gov/sites/default/files/cbofiles/ftpdocs/76xx...

Re: My mom is dying, and my bank account is dry. I need help

#146

Post by srean »

WoodenChair wrote: post #139
redthrowaway wrote: post #134

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No, it's not for all types of cancer. My advice relates only to those with terminal, metastatic cancer, and is not an admonition but rather a reflection on what I wish we had done. >With that said, there are people who beat even the deadliest cancers, and that very small chance, is one worth thinking about. I vividly recall looking at the 5-year survival rates for people diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer. . I don'…

Thanks I'm 26 and my dad is 59 and it's a serious cancer (not that any are "not serious") so I'm a similar age. I respect your story. I just wanted to point out the flip side of the equation - the real life, completely true, stories of the 5%.

Hey WoodenChair ...

no cerebral HN comment here, just a sincere wish: all the best. Details were different, but been there, almost, more than once.

Re: My mom is dying, and my bank account is dry. I need help

#147

Post by matdrewin »

redthrowaway wrote: post #95

My father was diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer in 2007. He died in 2010 at the age of 60. I was 25. He too had multiple surgeries, chemo, radiation, etc. While we here in Canada don't pay directly for treatments, there was the cost of missed work, medical supplies, and the like. The following is directly, and deeply, informed by my own very personal experiences with cancer: Let her die. Chemo isn't going to save…

Amen. Sad but true.

Very few people are "cured". Most get life extensions ranging from 6 months to 5 years.

It's better to concentrate on letting one live their last days on their own terms. Meds and hospitals are pretty good at keeping people "alive" medically speaking. But all that extra time usually comes at a price.

It really depends on where you are in your life. I'd think that parents with young kids would want that extra 3 months. If you're older and your kids are older, perhaps it would be best to just let go.

It's not the quantity of years that you live that's important, it's the quality.

Re: My mom is dying, and my bank account is dry. I need help

#148

Post by lobotryas »

brenschluss wrote: post #30
lobotryas wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

To me it sounds like you never had a long-term plan for the treatment or your own future. You jumped in, blew your savings, and now you're stuck. It's too late for "could-have, should-have", but if you somehow manage to procure more money, at least consider alternatives such as slower treatment schedules or flying your mother to a country where such treatments are cheaper (India comes to mind as a potential option)[0…

>To me it sounds like you never had a long-term plan for the treatment or your own future. You jumped in, blew your savings, and now you're stuck. You think that the OP is to blame for not having a long-term plan for a scenario in which one's very close family member is diagnosed with a previously unknown disease and $150k is not enough to take care of that? You think this is an instance of poor planning on the OP's…

I do.

Cancer kills quickly, but not "tomorrow" quickly. This gives an opportunity to consider the big picture and how you'll navigate this challenge. The OP himself writes that his savings lasted for 4+ months. I was surprised that, in this timeframe, zero thought appears to have been given to the question: "What happens when my money runs out?".

The final outcome may have been the same (asking for donations online), but you'd be starting out early instead of with your back against the wall. Same as with startup funding: if you look for funding only when you're out of runway, you'll have a next-to-impossible time of securing it (or securing it on good terms).

Re: My mom is dying, and my bank account is dry. I need help

#149

Post by LyndsySimon »

grecy wrote: post #62
eli wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Tell me how to vote for change, and I'll gladly do it. In addition to being terrible, the current system discourages entrepreneurship and effectively taxes small businesses.

> Tell me how to vote for change, and I'll gladly do it. Turn off your TV, get off your couch and get outside and protest like any good citizen of a democracy is required to do. Look what happens in France when the government tries to take away a single public holiday, or make changes to maternity leave. What your government is currently offering for health care is completely and utterly unacceptable beyond belief. I…

> What your government is currently offering for health care is completely and utterly unacceptable beyond belief. It's your job to make them change it.

Many of us argue that it's reprehensible that government is "offering" healthcare at all. We are protesting, though :)

Re: My mom is dying, and my bank account is dry. I need help

#150

Post by danielweber »

danielweber wrote: post #81
grecy wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

All developed countries (excluding the US) share similarities, that when painting with a broad brush, can be called the same. Namely: People pay taxes that pay for healthcare for every single citizen. No person is without care. (end of comparison). (You can tell people it's exactly the same as how they pay for Elementary and High School, how they pay for police and firemen, etc. etc.) EDIT: Implied in my broad statem…

> People pay taxes that pay for healthcare for every single citizen. No person is without care. (end of comparison). The Netherlands and Switzerland have a system of compulsory insurance that's closer to PPACA than it is to "pay taxes that pay for healthcare for every single citizen." Germany has a combination of sickness funds combined with insurance mandates. Singapore has compulsory health savings accounts. The US…

> EDIT: Implied in my broad statement is No person pays out of pocket for care, other than the original taxes.

To emphasize how completely wrong this is:

http://data.worldbank.org/indicator/SH.XPD.PUBL/countries?or...

Even single-payer Canada only has 70% of health-care costs covered by the government.

And co-pays are hardly restricted to America:

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/sickaroundtheworld/c...

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