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My mom is dying, and my bank account is dry. I need help

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Re: My mom is dying, and my bank account is dry. I need help

#71

Post by ef47d35620c1 »

lobotryas wrote: post #14
helpmymomisx wrote: post #2

I’m 22. I’m stressed. Everything’s fucked up. My mom is dying. I need help. TL;DR If anyone has any work for me (strengths are Ruby/Rails, data mining) please email me. ilovemymomjeanine@gmail.com (will go to my professional email) -- This is in regards to https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7214446 If you’re in Minnesota and would like to meet with me, let’s meet. Very-long; will read: I’m posting here so I can ven…

To me it sounds like you never had a long-term plan for the treatment or your own future. You jumped in, blew your savings, and now you're stuck. It's too late for "could-have, should-have", but if you somehow manage to procure more money, at least consider alternatives such as slower treatment schedules or flying your mother to a country where such treatments are cheaper (India comes to mind as a potential option)[0…

You can have chronic PTSD from many things. For example, people who were abandoned, beaten and physically abused as children. That's just one example, there are many others. You don't have to be a war vet who saw active combat or a woman who was raped to suffer from PTSD.

Re: My mom is dying, and my bank account is dry. I need help

#72

Post by ars »

veidr wrote: post #46
thatthatis wrote: post #18

Serious question: Why were these bills paid by the son who would have no financial obligation in the case of his mother's bankruptcy? America's health care safety net is bankruptcy and the 'cannot refuse critical treatment based on ability to pay' role of emergency rooms. Seems the right course to take in these situations is to string along the hospitals until it ends up in bankruptcy and only pay out of pocket from…

I went through a similar thing. My mom had advanced ovarian cancer ten years ago, and even though she 'had insurance' in the American sense of the phrase then, when you added up the things they didn't pay for, it was thousands of dollars a month, punctuated by five-figure expenses here and there. (Spoiler alert: I spent all my savings, went $100k into debt, and then she died.) I think there is a misconception about t…

So why not apply for medicaid or medical assistance, or whatever it's called in your state? That's what it's for!

Re: My mom is dying, and my bank account is dry. I need help

#74

Post by staunch »

maxerickson wrote: post #68
staunch wrote: post #34

It's a fucking embarrassment that there isn't an obvious person to call for help here. I wish there was an organization that would help people navigate their healthcare. Like a medical concierge/social worker. Someone is an expert on The System and acts entirely on your behalf. The would oversee your entire healthcare. They book your appointments, remind you to go, handle most billing issues, make sure you're up to d…

http://minnesotahelp.info/Public/default.aspx?se=healthcare

Looks like a reasonably useful resource but there's no where there he can call to get the service I just described.

Re: My mom is dying, and my bank account is dry. I need help

#75

Post by michaelochurch »

tptacek wrote: post #58
pessimizer wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't think you can get treatment for your terminal cancer in the emergency room unless somebody stabbed you in it.

No, this is false.

You might be able to get ER treatment for when the cancer throws a clot and causes a stroke or infarction, but somehow I'm guessing that ERs don't perform chemotherapy and radiation for people who can't pay. Am I wrong on that? Do ERs perform chemotherapy?

Re: My mom is dying, and my bank account is dry. I need help

#76

Post by andrewpi »

What is the 'max out of pocket' on your mother's insurance plan? With many plans I've seen, once you've paid out of pocket X thousands of dollars for the year, the insurance picks up 100% of the cost, as long as you are seeking treatment at an in-network provider.

Re: My mom is dying, and my bank account is dry. I need help

#77

Post by altero »

delluminatus wrote: post #64
altero wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would say naive folk fucked by the system. In Europe it is kind of similar, but not as bad. My relative has non-lethal cancer. It was diagnosed by private doctor and waiting list for operation is a few months. So he called ambulance and went to public hospital with 'unknown pain'. The very same doctor (who also work in public hospital) diagnosed cancer second time and bumbed him on top of the list, since it is an '…

There is a very big difference between non-lethal cancer and lethal cancer. "Treating" a late-stage cancer is an order of magnitude more expensive than treating a cancer that was diagnosed early.

Yet there is a waiting list...

Re: My mom is dying, and my bank account is dry. I need help

#78

Post by altero »

whyleyc wrote: post #59
altero wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would say naive folk fucked by the system. In Europe it is kind of similar, but not as bad. My relative has non-lethal cancer. It was diagnosed by private doctor and waiting list for operation is a few months. So he called ambulance and went to public hospital with 'unknown pain'. The very same doctor (who also work in public hospital) diagnosed cancer second time and bumbed him on top of the list, since it is an '…

Where is "here" for you ? Europe has a pretty diverse range of healthcare facilities, varying greatly depending on which country you are in.

Does not really matter, I know similar stories from all over Europe including UK, post-soviet countries and southern states.

Re: My mom is dying, and my bank account is dry. I need help

#79

Post by protomyth »

I still wish that instead of some massive, problematic bill, we had got something that would stop disasters like this.

I really wish a simple fee[1] had been added to insurance plans, paid to the government, to cover a "catastrophic care" insurance to pick up all bills over $50K or maybe $75K. It would have save everyone on premiums[2] and stopped the destruction of a family by one event. Instead we got targeted, issue-based freebees.

1) Government should just add all the uninsured

2) having a max payout on an incident of care makes for some interesting changes to risk

Re: My mom is dying, and my bank account is dry. I need help

#80

Post by [deleted] »

joshmn wrote: post #38
lobotryas wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

To me it sounds like you never had a long-term plan for the treatment or your own future. You jumped in, blew your savings, and now you're stuck. It's too late for "could-have, should-have", but if you somehow manage to procure more money, at least consider alternatives such as slower treatment schedules or flying your mother to a country where such treatments are cheaper (India comes to mind as a potential option)[0…

> To me it sounds like you never had a long-term plan for the treatment or your own future. You jumped in, blew your savings, and now you're stuck. I'm 22, young; my future is good. For what it's worth, the way I see it is that everyone I would have graduated college with (I only did a semester), is now in massive amounts of debt. I'm just starting from near-zero (-$6k). > I've heard of PTSD from rape or war, but thi…

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