Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

How to Make Yourself Work When You Just Don’t Want To

blogs.hbr.org

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

81–90 of 111 posts

Re: How to Make Yourself Work When You Just Don’t Want To

#81

Post by djokkataja »

nisa wrote: post #39
asdashopping wrote: post #22

I have suffered from depression for years and it is destroying my life. I read articles like this and think that what they're saying sounds like a great idea, and then proceed to completely ignore it. I have tried multiple types of antidepressants and found the side effects unbearable. They didn't make me feel happy, they made me feel nothing. I have tried CBT and regular therapy, both of which have failed because I…

> I read articles ... and then proceed to ... ignore it. > ...unable to motivate myself to actually go > don't even feel in control of your own thoughts > I always fall back into the same patterns. I'm not a doctor or professional, so take this with a huge grain of salt and get help outside of HN: Did you consider having adult ADHD? - maybe the inattentive type? Do you have some disciplines where you still able to ex…

+1 to this; I was diagnosed with depression first and a year later with adult ADHD (primarily inattentive). The depression treatments weren't all that helpful, but when I started getting treated for ADHD it was extremely obvious why I had become depressed in the first place.

Try a quiz; it's no diagnosis, but you could bring it up with your doctor if your result shows that you may have some form of ADHD. http://psychcentral.com/addquiz.htm

Re: How to Make Yourself Work When You Just Don’t Want To

#83

Post by skunkworks »

callum85 wrote: post #74

I think this is terrible advice. I got much better at motivation over the last year by thinking in exactly the opposite way from what this article recommends. I accepted that I had virtually no willpower, and that I wasn't just going to just magically develop some, and that I didn't need it anyway. Instead I needed to get more skilled at 'coaxing' myself into doing things – at steering my feelings into more construct…

This is really interesting and I'd like to hear more about your approach. What is your inner monologue like when you're integrating the two opposing forces?

Re: How to Make Yourself Work When You Just Don’t Want To

#84

Post by agumonkey »

dasil003 wrote: post #27
asdashopping wrote: post #22

I have suffered from depression for years and it is destroying my life. I read articles like this and think that what they're saying sounds like a great idea, and then proceed to completely ignore it. I have tried multiple types of antidepressants and found the side effects unbearable. They didn't make me feel happy, they made me feel nothing. I have tried CBT and regular therapy, both of which have failed because I…

I've suffered from depression in the past, mostly during my late teenage years and early adulthood. The first thing I will say is that depression and motivation are different for everyone, so you can take this with a huge grain of salt, but here is what helped me: * Get sunlight — I grew up in Minnesota where if it's sunny in the winter that usually means its too cold for exposed skin outside. When I moved to Santa F…

I'm currently doing this, and it's having very tangible effects. One other thing I've noticed is that a little of mandatory yet unrewarding activity [1] profoundly affected my feelings, behavior and motivation. I became speedy, and time passed a lot slower [2] as opposed to when I have no obligations and everything starts to melt away.

[1] I had to work part time as a clerk at a store, it was insufferably dumb, but I left thanking them

[2] in the good kind of way, ability to be focused and do more and yet it has only been 5 minutes.

Re: How to Make Yourself Work When You Just Don’t Want To

#86

Post by datawander »

acoustic wrote: post #60
read wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Some of what you say doesn't contradict the author. You might also have an incomplete understanding of some others. (1) A prevention and a promotion focus are two types of focus people have a disposition to. You can't adopt a prevention focus if you are promotion inclined. Maybe you, personally, work better with tasks requiring a promotion focus. (2) The technique you mention does not contradict the author. I agree w…

Regarding your last point, the Harvard goals study doesn't actually exist: http://sidsavara.com/personal-productivity/fact-or-fiction-t...

Thanks @acoustic, it's always nice to see bunk-busting. Just looking at the quote makes the statistic sounds hard to believe. Did the story include drop-outs like Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg?

Re: How to Make Yourself Work When You Just Don’t Want To

#87

Post by eaurouge »

callum85 wrote: post #74

I think this is terrible advice. I got much better at motivation over the last year by thinking in exactly the opposite way from what this article recommends. I accepted that I had virtually no willpower, and that I wasn't just going to just magically develop some, and that I didn't need it anyway. Instead I needed to get more skilled at 'coaxing' myself into doing things – at steering my feelings into more construct…

You can't "just" do stuff if you don't feel like it, as this article suggests.

And yet every morning, millions of people get up and go to work to do a job they really don't feel like doing. People still do back-breaking work just so they can put food on the table. I'm not saying it's a recipe for happiness but people have been doing stuff they don't enjoy for millennia. And even in present day, only some of us can afford to choose when, where and what to work on.

Re: How to Make Yourself Work When You Just Don’t Want To

#88

Post by angkec »

callum85 wrote: post #74

I think this is terrible advice. I got much better at motivation over the last year by thinking in exactly the opposite way from what this article recommends. I accepted that I had virtually no willpower, and that I wasn't just going to just magically develop some, and that I didn't need it anyway. Instead I needed to get more skilled at 'coaxing' myself into doing things – at steering my feelings into more construct…

Please make some examples when you apply it. I'm eager to hear the applications as the other commenter!

Re: How to Make Yourself Work When You Just Don’t Want To

#89

Post by mseebach »

asdashopping wrote: post #22

I have suffered from depression for years and it is destroying my life. I read articles like this and think that what they're saying sounds like a great idea, and then proceed to completely ignore it. I have tried multiple types of antidepressants and found the side effects unbearable. They didn't make me feel happy, they made me feel nothing. I have tried CBT and regular therapy, both of which have failed because I…

You situation sounds like mine a few years ago.

I did CBT and ended up going (100% no-show fee can do that) - I'm not sure if it was the method (CBT) that worked, or just having a stranger say "and why is that?" a lot. Basically she did a "Five whys" on my life. It was all so simple, but I couldn't see it.

For me it was low self esteem, but veiled: I consciously knew that I was pretty good at what I did and had my life reasonably in order - I checked all the boxes, so I should be happy. "Just pull yourself together" seemed like reasonable advice, but I just couldn't do it. But subconsciously, I had huge doubts about my self worth. The first step of the solution was to reflect every evening over what I did that day and what went well to reinforce a positive self-image.

I also changed jobs (this was pre-CBT, so not a direct effect, but in retrospect it's all related) from a high uncertainty contracting gig with a promise (ha!) of becoming a start up to a bog standard full time programming gig in a good company. The new job gave me many more chances to get good results and much more time and opportunity to learn stuff and self-improve.

One habit I've taught myself is to pay attention to a certain "jab" in my stomach that I get when something is wrong. I immediately stop what I'm doing and carefully analyse the cause. More often than not, I've seen, heard or read something that plays into a subconscious fear about my self esteem, and by forcing it out into the open and applying reason to it, I can make it go away fairly simply. It's worked wonders for my overall feeling of happiness.

You situation will obviously be different from mine, but your post resonated a lot with me. Feel free to email (see my profile) if you want to continue the conversation in private.

Re: How to Make Yourself Work When You Just Don’t Want To

#90

Post by RivieraKid »

asdashopping wrote: post #22

I have suffered from depression for years and it is destroying my life. I read articles like this and think that what they're saying sounds like a great idea, and then proceed to completely ignore it. I have tried multiple types of antidepressants and found the side effects unbearable. They didn't make me feel happy, they made me feel nothing. I have tried CBT and regular therapy, both of which have failed because I…

Have you tried LSD or DMT? I've heard that it helped people with depression.
Post reply on HN