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How to Make Yourself Work When You Just Don’t Want To

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Re: How to Make Yourself Work When You Just Don’t Want To

#21

Post by einhverfr »

a3voices wrote: post #2

Why would you want to force yourself? Life isn't about how much work you can do. If you feel like working, then work. If you don't, then don't work.

I think the larger issue is that usually when you are forcing yourself for a long time, your quality and quantity of work suffer. So I agree with you on the whole.

However the question usually isn't whether to do a task you don't want to but how to start a task you don't want to start out of fear or feeling like you don't have a grasp of it, or just aren't in the mood for it. If you can start a task, then you shouldn't have to force yourself to complete it. If you do, that's bad.

But there are things we have to do that we may not want to at any given moment. The question is how to structure one's work so they get done.

Re: How to Make Yourself Work When You Just Don’t Want To

#22

Post by asdashopping »

I have suffered from depression for years and it is destroying my life. I read articles like this and think that what they're saying sounds like a great idea, and then proceed to completely ignore it.

I have tried multiple types of antidepressants and found the side effects unbearable. They didn't make me feel happy, they made me feel nothing.

I have tried CBT and regular therapy, both of which have failed because I was unable to motivate myself to actually go.

Maybe it is just a matter of changing how I think, but it's hard to change how you think when you don't even feel in control of your own thoughts. No matter how hard I try, I always fall back into the same patterns.

I don't why I'm writing this here. I don't know what else to do.

Re: How to Make Yourself Work When You Just Don’t Want To

#23

Post by sheff »

Another very simple thing I use when procrastination strikes is Seth Roberts Magic Dots technique. ( http://blog.sethroberts.net/category/procrastination/magic-d... )

He came up with it based on reinforcement studies in pigeons. There are more details on the linked page, but basically whilst working you just put a dot on a piece of paper every 6 minutes in the shape of a square, then join all the dots with a line. Something about doing this essentially meaningless thing improves motivation and throughput for me.

Re: How to Make Yourself Work When You Just Don’t Want To

#24

Post by b1daly »

asdashopping wrote: post #22

I have suffered from depression for years and it is destroying my life. I read articles like this and think that what they're saying sounds like a great idea, and then proceed to completely ignore it. I have tried multiple types of antidepressants and found the side effects unbearable. They didn't make me feel happy, they made me feel nothing. I have tried CBT and regular therapy, both of which have failed because I…

Not to be obvious, but have you tried medication? Like a lot of things YMMV but it can help a lot, and also make those other approaches more effective. Hang in there...

Re: How to Make Yourself Work When You Just Don’t Want To

#25

Post by hiphopyo »

asdashopping wrote: post #22

I have suffered from depression for years and it is destroying my life. I read articles like this and think that what they're saying sounds like a great idea, and then proceed to completely ignore it. I have tried multiple types of antidepressants and found the side effects unbearable. They didn't make me feel happy, they made me feel nothing. I have tried CBT and regular therapy, both of which have failed because I…

You can't fool your feelings. If you're stuck in a ditch, medication or "changing the way you think" (advice from other depressed people) won't help.

You need to surround yourself with people you want to emulate as well as beautiful women 24/7. And don't forget to travel the world. This should activate those dormant parts of your brain and make you real happy.

Some of us, however, need to get rich before this can happen. So if that's the case with you, go make those apps!

Re: How to Make Yourself Work When You Just Don’t Want To

#26

Post by padolsey »

chegra wrote: post #19

I said this in another comment, but what works for me is publicly pledging to work for x number of hours on y project or else I give z dollars to some charity. Where x is normally between 2-10 y is anything z is normally 10 If you are procrastinating right now, give it a go. Go on twitter or facebook and say if I don't work for 2 hours on Akasha(a project), I will donate $10 to watsi(the charity). I think when settin…

I'm not sold on the idea of aligning one's failures with charitable contributions. You'd inevitably learn to feel good at the prospect of not having to yield cash to a good cause. Also, dangling a piece of charity (say, to a watsi patient) and then ripping it away once you 'succeed' seems a bit... unethical.

Re: How to Make Yourself Work When You Just Don’t Want To

#27

Post by dasil003 »

asdashopping wrote: post #22

I have suffered from depression for years and it is destroying my life. I read articles like this and think that what they're saying sounds like a great idea, and then proceed to completely ignore it. I have tried multiple types of antidepressants and found the side effects unbearable. They didn't make me feel happy, they made me feel nothing. I have tried CBT and regular therapy, both of which have failed because I…

I've suffered from depression in the past, mostly during my late teenage years and early adulthood. The first thing I will say is that depression and motivation are different for everyone, so you can take this with a huge grain of salt, but here is what helped me:

* Get sunlight — I grew up in Minnesota where if it's sunny in the winter that usually means its too cold for exposed skin outside. When I moved to Santa Fe (300+ sunny days at 7000' elevation) the first winter I was amazed at how much better I felt.

* Get exercise — Find some physical activity you enjoy (preferably outdoors) and do it. This is maybe harder for some than others, but I can't emphasize how important this is to me. I sit 10-12 hours per day in front of a computer, without outdoor activity on a regular basis I would wither.

* Check your diet — Okay, last but most certainly not least, there is more evidence coming out all the time about much diet and gut health can impact mood and psychology. One of the prominent books in this area is The GAPS Diet (http://www.gapsdiet.com), but I think this is just the tip of the iceberg. In short, if you live in America and you just eat what's easy you're probably eating a lot of processed grains that could be altering your health dramatically.

I hope those don't appear as facile answers, but the truth is those things have made a huge difference in my life. It wasn't an overnight thing, I had to grow up a bit, move away from my family, and establish my own life before I really started to feel happy. Best of luck.

Re: How to Make Yourself Work When You Just Don’t Want To

#28

Post by enscr »

All these sound interesting to read but none are really practical when it comes to implementing. To a large part, when things have to happen, somehow circumstances contrive you to accomplish it. These 'techniques' are rarely ground breaking for the true-to-the-spirit procrastinator.

What works without fail is peer pressure or a stinging comment.

Disclaimer : Personal experience, may not be generalizable.

Re: How to Make Yourself Work When You Just Don’t Want To

#29

Post by ChristianMarks »

padolsey wrote: post #26
chegra wrote: post #19

I said this in another comment, but what works for me is publicly pledging to work for x number of hours on y project or else I give z dollars to some charity. Where x is normally between 2-10 y is anything z is normally 10 If you are procrastinating right now, give it a go. Go on twitter or facebook and say if I don't work for 2 hours on Akasha(a project), I will donate $10 to watsi(the charity). I think when settin…

I'm not sold on the idea of aligning one's failures with charitable contributions. You'd inevitably learn to feel good at the prospect of not having to yield cash to a good cause. Also, dangling a piece of charity (say, to a watsi patient) and then ripping it away once you 'succeed' seems a bit... unethical.

Yes, better to allocate the funds to a cause you actively oppose if you fail.

Re: How to Make Yourself Work When You Just Don’t Want To

#30

Post by visakanv »

enscr wrote: post #28

All these sound interesting to read but none are really practical when it comes to implementing. To a large part, when things have to happen, somehow circumstances contrive you to accomplish it. These 'techniques' are rarely ground breaking for the true-to-the-spirit procrastinator. What works without fail is peer pressure or a stinging comment. Disclaimer : Personal experience, may not be generalizable.

I was watching Trainspotting with my wife the other day and it both amused and troubled at how the drug addicts' behavior reminded me of how I typically procrastinate. People vastly underestimate how elaborate, nuanced and complex the procrastinator mind can be.
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