Curse Of The Gifted (2000)

I remember when we were dating, we got in an argument about something, I don't remember what exactly, and a typical lover's debate ensued. In a debate I'm usually able to rationally disassemble another person's arguments and "win"...and I remember the moment that she presented her argument and it was different than mine and I realized she was absolutely correct and I had built a sloppy argument in my mind.

I told myself, "I can't let her do that to me again", because it didn't feel good to actually really lose an argument because the other person was authentically correct and I was wrong.

And then it happened again and again.

I had never met another human being where that happened, ever.

If I feel this confident about my argument, it means I usually know it well enough that I can out argue anybody, it got me out of lots of fist fights in school, but also into lots of trouble with my teachers as I disassembled their lessons -- literary symbolism was a bad class for me for example as I challenged many of the asserted symbols and interpretations.

If I don't know it well enough I usually just keep quiet about it or don't get involved in a debate in the first place, and instead sit back and quietly learn.

But with her, she was able to, with less information, completely out-think me. To this day she still does it with alarming regularity.

She's been amazing, she helps me clarify my thinking and keep focused and not get caught up in negative thinking and actions too much. She comes up with and gives me constant challenges that take years to complete and keep me engaged in constructive positive thinking rather than destructive/deconstructive thinking. She's helped me get past decades of hurt and social isolation from my childhood and has literally polished me into a productive member of society.

Yeah, luckily the area I grew up in happens to have one of the top rated public school districts in the nation, so most things that were offered in private school education-wise were offered in public school as well.

I would highly recommend going back and learning maths properly.

In my case, I actually gave up on maths in year 7 because I wanted to hang out with friends more than study. I consistently failed in high school despite being pretty promising in primary school ... but that's just 'cause I "wasn't trying", right?

Well, maybe so, but maths is a skill. You can't ignore it for 4 years and then pick it up in the same way you can with English or Japanese or Sociology.

So when it came to year 11 and 12, when I actually wanted to do well at maths, I couldn't, so I borderline failed high school maths.

A foible of the (Australian) state in which I went to year 11/12 meant that, despite not using maths towards my university entrance score, I was still allowed to use it as a pre-requisite to get into a university course.

I didn't go to uni straight away because I didn't really know what I wanted to do. At age 21 and on a whim, on the last day that you could mail your applications in, I picked Mechatronic Engineering from the handbook and sent in my application. Why? Because I thought it sounded cool (I used to love Robotech :) but I had no idea that Engineering was so maths heavy (that's how ignorant I was of the field).

First year I failed everything. The only thing I did well in was programming, so I took 2 years off and got a job as a programmer. In the last 6 months before I started uni again, I went through my Calculus text book from the beginning, going over my first year uni notes and assignments at the same time. Answering all the problems in the book, etc.

As it turns out, the things that were most nobbling my ability to do calculus was lack of understanding of algebra, trigonometry, geometry ... things like logs and graphs and functions, factorisation, all that stuff. Once I'd learned that, I discovered the rest wasn't so bad.

I re-did my first year subjects in summer school that year and passed (even got some Credits which is 65+!) and then managed to get a low distinction in one of my second year courses.

You never saw a guy so happy with his 75 in Vector Calculus :) all the engineering geeks were crying in their pillows because they got a 98 instead of a 100 but I was punching some serious air.

Getting past this personal myth that I was "just bad at maths" is one of the most important things I've ever done. It really taught me that, with persistent execution and incremental improvement, you can learn and do anything (within reason: ie. I probably can't learn to levitate although I'd love to be proven wrong :)

Even more relevant to this thread: http://geekz.co.uk/lovesraymond/archive/specificator

> groups proposing to be built of smart people are often as not built of over-opinionated pretentious people who've come to believe they are intelligent through one way or another

Dunning-Kruger societies.

I used to associate with a bunch of people who self-identified as "being smart". Trying to fit in led me to form the terrible habit of never saying "I don't know".

I've since met a number of genuinely smart people, and they are typically driven by curiosity and delight in learning, not pretension.