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These are professional investors putting money into an early stage startup, right? I'm certain they were aware going in that they might not get their money back. (And, in fact, that this was the most likely outcome.)
We've all been there at some point in our life, there's nothing shameful about working for others to make ends meet. And even though most of us hate the idea of working for other people, at some points in life you have to put your ego and pride aside and just bite the bullet and do some damn work to pay the bills.
Life is long, failure is temporary. You didn't crash an airplane with 300 people in it, you just didn't succeed at business, an extremely common occurrence. Just keep truckin'.
(I realize OP is not the anonymous poster in question)
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That said, one slightly harsh bit of advice:
>>But, I can’t imagine working for somebody else. I wish my wife understood that.
You need to get over that. Working for someone else(after a short break perhaps) is basically recharging your funds and your mind while you think about your next company. For all you know, you might run into your next co-founder in your new job. It's hard to think about the distant future when you're not even sure how to put food on the table tomorrow.
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As your post seems to indicate, you're scared shitless right now and it seems like the entire world is coming to an end. Trust me, even if it really seems that way, it's not.
For now, grit your teeth and go through the bad stuff. Tell your wife. Be honest with her. No matter what, she's your wife for a reason- she'll support you through all of this. If you neglected your relationship with her a bit because of the startup thing, then she comes first now. Then tell your investors. Tell your employees. Tell whoever else you need to tell. Be honest, genuine and straightforward. The next few weeks are going to suck big time, but you'll get through them.
Once the big stuff is behind you, take a few weeks to breathe, if possible financially. You're coming to the end of a long, arduous journey, and that's always something hard to process. Try to find joy in the little things that you didn't have the time for during your founder mode. Have brunch with your wife. Go take a walk alone in the forest. Read a book. Take time to recover.
You will find another job. You don't realize this right now, but having run a startup for 2 years gives you more skills and experience than others have developed in a lifetime. If you have to take a job right away because of financial hardships, take something low stress (consulting/freelance could be a good choice, for the flexibility, although it can be hard to get started with no leads). Now is probably a bad time to do another startup. Also, you probably want to use this as a lesson to remember that you should always have ~6 months of expenditures in the bank that you NEVER touch precisely for situations like this one.
Don't worry about the investors. It's part of their job - you're not the first startup that they funded that failed, and you're not the last either. Be professional with them- if you want to do a startup again in the future they will remember your honesty and ethics more than the fact that your startup failed.
You ran a startup for 2 years. Solely by doing that, you've gone further on the path of entrepreneurship than 99.999% of people who call themselves "entrepreneurs" have. Take time to grieve, but also take time to see all that you have accomplished.
If you still feel depressed after a month or two, go talk to a professional therapist/psychiatrist. Sometimes we need a little external help.
It's going to be OK. :)
* If your payables and debts are all in the company's name, nobody is coming for your house. The likelihood that your business was going to die before you could pay all your debts was priced into your contracts. If you have employees, pay them and get them off your books first; employee wages are, depending on the state you're in, the one likely exception to that rule.
* If they were in your name, well, that sucks, but still nobody is coming for your house. Your credit rating will probably absorb all the damage. I've had shitty credit all my life, so much so that it used to make it hard to get checking accounts (I'm not a deadbeat, I just don't have revolving credit, and do have billing disputes that I don't have time to resolve). Shitty credit is not that big of a deal. Just don't use credit.
* It sounds like your wife is right. The existence of startups isn't a guarantee that you'll never need to work for someone else again. The normal life cycle of a startup founder is, (1) work for someone else, (2) start company, (3) run company into ground, (4) goto 1. Think of it this way: had your company been successful, it almost certainly would have left you in a state where you'd be working for someone else for a couple years during your earnout. "Not working for someone else" was never really on the table.
* Getting a company funded and then running it is a resume plus. You won't have more trouble getting another job than you did getting the one you left to start this company.
* Your investors expected you to fail. The odds were always overwhelmingly that you would. The whole startup investment model is, put money into 10 companies, hope 1 succeeds. Your investors are professionals. Let their problems remain their problems.
* Are you going to get ridiculed for failing? Obviously, you're not an HN reader. You'd have gotten ridiculed for succeeding. Ridicule is the air we breathe. Why do you care?
* Most small companies start from nothing. That's good news, because "nothing" is an easy state to achieve. Give yourself a couple years, and then try again.
Hi! As your post seems to indicate, you're scared shitless right now and it seems like the entire world is coming to an end. Trust me, even if it really seems that way, it's not. For now, grit your teeth and go through the bad stuff. Tell your wife. Be honest with her. No matter what, she's your wife for a reason- she'll support you through all of this. If you neglected your relationship with her a bit because of the…
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