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Ask HN: Emotion hacks? How do you work despite crummy love/life things going on?

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Ask HN: Emotion hacks? How do you work despite crummy love/life things going on?

#1

Post by m_ »

Have you had slow-to-resolve real life problems that made it emotionally difficult to focus on your job, startup, or coding?

What techniques did you find to make it easier to focus despite the problems? (e.g. looming divorce, girlfriend breaking-up, death in the family, loss of great friends, etc.)

Obviously it's important to deal with those things in your own full way to heal/resolve them, but the practical matter is that you've got to get some things done during that process, too. What tricks do you use?

Re: Ask HN: Emotion hacks? How do you work despite crummy love/life things going on?

#3

Post by rjurney »

I've always channeled my emotions during times like that into workaholism. It may not be the healthiest way to address problems, but at least you get output from your angst :)

Just be aware: you'll have to deal with the emotions directly sometime.

Re: Ask HN: Emotion hacks? How do you work despite crummy love/life things going on?

#4

Post by mechanical_fish »

A tough one. The one time I remember having a problem like this, I wasn't exactly tasked with doing programming at work. So I solved my problem by turning to hacking! I did nothing but Perl for weeks. A rather productive time of my life, actually. Fortunately my boss was very pleased with all the code I wrote.

Try this: Change your work environment. Move to a different office. Work at the library or the coffeeshop. This is normally not a good thing for your productivity -- what you generally want to do is establish productive habits, and encourage them by keeping your environment consistent and allowing it to cue those habits. But being surrounded by familiar things might be distracting at a time when they tend to dredge up feelings of unhappiness.

There was a time when simply walking down a particular street would fill me with dread. Emotions are cued to places. Fortunately I'm much better now.

This may be why we're always telling people who are feeling burnt out to take a vacation and travel somewhere.

Re: Ask HN: Emotion hacks? How do you work despite crummy love/life things going on?

#5

Post by drawkbox »

Music while coding, westerns/zombie/scifi epic movies while doing smaller tedious tasks, get some gaming in maybe some L4D (important to have fun on your workstation).

Also, be sure to setup and knock down many tasks and todos that feel complete, smaller tasks for quick accomplishment. Game design your projects.

This applies to all slow downs, could even just be related to a long project or a moment you might not feel as hopeful.

Also get outside a bit and be cool to yourself, it is pretty much just you for the long haul anyways.

Re: Ask HN: Emotion hacks? How do you work despite crummy love/life things going on?

#6

Post by gtani »

You need to communicate your situation to family/friends, make yourself not feel isolated. Many people feeling anxiety and depression think they're the only ones they know, whereas many people are vulnerable. And when i see people prone to chemical dependencies or extreme behaviors, i urge them to seek counseling.

One thing that helps me is multiple 5-15 minute exercise breaks over the day. You can walk up a hill or a couple flights of stairs or do yoga poses or pilates things.

Re: Ask HN: Emotion hacks? How do you work despite crummy love/life things going on?

#7

Post by symstym »

ashishk wrote: post #2

I try to take care of myself in fundamental ways. Like eating well, exercising, and sleeping on time. I've found having control of basic things provides a deep sense of security.

I second this. I can't relate the the part about a sense of security, but I've found that it's very important to "take care of myself", in whatever form. For me that often means cleaning my apartment, taking care of business I've been procrastinating on, etc. Those are concrete, actionable tasks that are guaranteed to make me feel better, even if only a little bit. At work, I similarly try to focus on specific small tasks if possible, to keep my mind off of things.

Re: Ask HN: Emotion hacks? How do you work despite crummy love/life things going on?

#8

Post by effektz »

I'd say find a creative outlet, if that's hacking then so be it, but if it's writing or painting or just drawing for a couple of hours it can help to get things off your chest and clear your mind. That way when you're ready to work your mind won't be as distracted with these other problems.

Re: Ask HN: Emotion hacks? How do you work despite crummy love/life things going on?

#10

Post by kareemm »

sleep. exercise. eat healthily. spent time with great friends.

most importantly, put time aside to spend dealing with the emotions that come up. don't bottle them up. they will be expressed in destructive ways when you least expect it.

see a therapist if necessary; having someone help you get through growth roadblocks is the best money you will ever spend.

realize that whatever you're dealing with will eventually pass, despite being difficult to deal with now.

and know that there are no hacks for emotions. difficult times need to run their course and the best way to cope is to process your emotions.

good luck and know that we've all been there... dealing with difficult issues is a more challenging part of the human experience, but it also presents great opportunities for growth.

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