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This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup

ariannasimpson.com

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Re: This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup

#181

Post by hbags »

rosser wrote: post #146
hbags wrote: post #137

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think it's absolutely disgusting that you criticize the victim for documenting what happened to her. It's despicable and downright fucking evil that you basically accuse her of sharing her story solely because she wants attention. The worst part of your god-awful post is that it's currently pinned to the top of this board. The fact that your disgusting, insensitive post is at the top is why women don't work in tech…

All I can think of in response to this diatribe is a line from The Big Lebowski : "You're not wrong, Walter. You're just an asshole." Seriously, dude; chill. You can communicate your (not incorrect) point so very much more effectively without ragefacing all over the person you're replying to. It gets in the way of successful communication, and probably does horrible things for your blood pressure to boot.

I'm not dumb enough to try to change the stripes on a proudly bigoted jerk like Meritt.

I just want anybody who sees his spew to know that his opinion is not the only one. I want any human who is harassed to know that if they share their story after the fact, that's good.

And they shouldn't worry about the fact that some utterly worthless assholes like Meritt will try to shame them for speaking out. They shouldn't be ashamed if they were too afraid, too shy, or too confused to respond in the moment.

It is GOOD that we share these stories. It is GOOD that we move towards a world where these things happen less often.

And the utterly worthless assholes like Meritt who want to shame people for sharing their stories... they might be well represented in HN, but they're a minority of normal humans.

And I'd like other potential Meritt's to realize how utterly disgusting it is that he tried to shame the victim into silence.

Re: This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup

#182

Post by acdha »

BlindRubyCoder wrote: post #167
hbags wrote: post #137

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think it's absolutely disgusting that you criticize the victim for documenting what happened to her. It's despicable and downright fucking evil that you basically accuse her of sharing her story solely because she wants attention. The worst part of your god-awful post is that it's currently pinned to the top of this board. The fact that your disgusting, insensitive post is at the top is why women don't work in tech…

Everyone needs to feel like they belong somewhere. They need a cause. Your cause is hatred of white men and you find solace with others of the same persuasion. But you're still wrong, and the angry ranting is just ignored by people, even if they agree with some of your points. FYI.

> Your cause is hatred of white men and you find solace with others of the same persuasion.

You're seeing a problem and making it worse. Please stop.

Re: This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup

#183

Post by ossreality »

BlindRubyCoder wrote: post #167
hbags wrote: post #137

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think it's absolutely disgusting that you criticize the victim for documenting what happened to her. It's despicable and downright fucking evil that you basically accuse her of sharing her story solely because she wants attention. The worst part of your god-awful post is that it's currently pinned to the top of this board. The fact that your disgusting, insensitive post is at the top is why women don't work in tech…

Everyone needs to feel like they belong somewhere. They need a cause. Your cause is hatred of white men and you find solace with others of the same persuasion. But you're still wrong, and the angry ranting is just ignored by people, even if they agree with some of your points. FYI.

Ctrl+F "white". What are you talking about?

Re: This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup

#184

Post by cases »

hbags wrote: post #137
meritt wrote: post #3

> In my mind, it’s a little preposterous that if I want to do so, however, I have to be ok with being felt up and indirectly insulted. To the author: You're right, it's unacceptable but you know how to fix it? You say something at the point in which it occurs. Nip it in the bud. Running off to write yet another gender-division-in-the-tech-world blog which will be read, primarily, by the sort of folk who already agree…

I think it's absolutely disgusting that you criticize the victim for documenting what happened to her. It's despicable and downright fucking evil that you basically accuse her of sharing her story solely because she wants attention. The worst part of your god-awful post is that it's currently pinned to the top of this board. The fact that your disgusting, insensitive post is at the top is why women don't work in tech…

100% agree.

I shouldn't even bother commenting here and this won't be the first time I'm giving up on HN, but seeing the replies you're getting I couldn't leave without at least offering you my support and letting the community know what a sick and twisted bunch of people tech, HN, pg, reddit and the rest of you are. Absolutely disgusting bunch of people. And that's coming from a privileged white male.

Re: This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup

#185

Post by snowwrestler »

gnaritas wrote: post #65
zasz wrote: post #36

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What exactly do you want her to say? "Hi, stop being a dick, because this kind of behavior is a serious turn off to women who want to be involved in tech?" That's obviously not going to fly. So what about, "Hi, could you not awkwardly hug me?" What people say in response to that is, "Why are you being mean to me? I was just trying to be friendly." It's extremely hard to say something in the moment without getting ste…

I'd think the appropriate response to being groped is to shove the guy out of your personal space and say get your hands off me jerk. His response is irrelevant, groping is not just being friendly. However, admittedly, as a guy maybe I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.

The problem is that she wants to be there, wants to meet all these people, wants to be accepted as a fellow bitcoin enthusiast, wants to make a good impression, wants to maybe make some friends, or maybe just some connections.

It's hard to do any of that when 5 minutes in, you're shoving somebody and chastising them publicly.

The groper is not going to react well to that. They're not going to think they did anything wrong (if they did, they wouldn't have done it in the first place). So they'll see her as the aggressor and complain loudly.

Re: This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup

#186

Post by Crito »

hbags wrote: post #170
kordless wrote: post #160

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I usually stay away from making blaming statements, but you're an asshat. Merritt didn't criticize anyone - instead they (she?) offered suggestions for a path to conflict resolution. You, on the other hand, are making a slew of blaming statements that are made up bullshit. What you are angry about, I'm unsure. I'll hazard you don't know either. Cognitive dissonance at its finest, folks.

Meritt absolutely made blaming statements. Even the most charitable reading of his post is him complaining that she decided to make clickbait. He tried to shame her and degrade her for having shared her story instead of doing something else. He's an asshole. Fuck him.

I may be misreading meritt's comment, but it seems to me that meritt is criticizing the author of the article for not addressing the situation when it happened; not criticizing the author for blogging about it. In fact, meritt seems to be suggesting that the author should blog about the incident, though meritt thinks that a blog about the author resolving the situation by confronting it directly would be more effective in promoting productive discussion.

(To be absolutely clear, I am not a fan of criticizing the author for handling or not handling the situation in any particular way.)

I might be reading that all wrong; certainly I am being charitable to meritt and giving him/her the benefit of the doubt. There is a decent chance that I've gone to far, and that you are entirely correct. However your "charitable" reading of his/her post is certainly not the "most charitable".

Re: This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup

#187

Post by MartinCron »

rosser wrote: post #146
hbags wrote: post #137

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think it's absolutely disgusting that you criticize the victim for documenting what happened to her. It's despicable and downright fucking evil that you basically accuse her of sharing her story solely because she wants attention. The worst part of your god-awful post is that it's currently pinned to the top of this board. The fact that your disgusting, insensitive post is at the top is why women don't work in tech…

All I can think of in response to this diatribe is a line from The Big Lebowski : "You're not wrong, Walter. You're just an asshole." Seriously, dude; chill. You can communicate your (not incorrect) point so very much more effectively without ragefacing all over the person you're replying to. It gets in the way of successful communication, and probably does horrible things for your blood pressure to boot.

Yeah, I have to agree. I've burned a dozen bridges and poisoned quite a few wells before I learned that a message like that can actually be much stronger if you step down the rhetoric just a notch.

Easier said than done.

Re: This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup

#188

Post by acdha »

UnoriginalGuy wrote: post #148
zasz wrote: post #128

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's not just about having a young daughter. People need to teach their sons that they shouldn't be putting their hands on women's waists and legs. That is the other reason to write blog posts on this--to make men aware that they shouldn't be doing things like this.

I'm pretty sure everyone younger than 30 is well aware that such things aren't acceptable. In case you haven't noticed almost all cases are by people in their 50s or older who grew up in a different period and have different norms for social interaction. At least that is certainly the case where I grew up. You keep your hands to yourself (and typically leave it to women to initiate things since doing otherwise will o…

> I'm pretty sure everyone younger than 30 is well aware that such things aren't acceptable

This is a severely optimistic take. There is a generational aspect but the main problem is lack of respect and empathy and those follow no generational boundary.

Re: This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup

#189

Post by ljf »

dogecoinbase wrote: post #149
rfnslyr wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Funny how far removed real problems are from our society. "The intimidation, the mental abuse aspect of it is enough." versus Collecting wood in a forest 40km away so you can stoke a fire and your family can eat. Tell the guy to get his hands off you, grab a seat, introduce yourself. Everyone needs an emotional baby sitter and therapist nowadays.

This from the guy who lived in his mom's basement learning to code[1] and whose "goal in life" is to get rich in an acquihire[2]. I have some pretty legitimate doubts that you know the slightest thing about either primitive lifestyles and their hardships, or modern lifestyles and their hardships. 1: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7112803 2: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7052008

At the risk of being down voted, I wish I could upvote the comment above more. :)

Re: This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup

#190

Post by rfnslyr »

EricDeb wrote: post #176

Not to defend the men in this story but I imagine they are like many guys in tech-single and lonely, and see these sorts of meet-ups as an opportunity to meet women with similar interests. Specifically the line "Oh ok cool, so if we start dating I can use the app with you!" seems to suggest this objective. I think a lot of their statements are said to provoke a reaction from women in a "flirty" manner, not because th…

I think a lot of their statements are said to provoke a reaction from women in a "flirty" manner, not because these men are actually misogynistic.

Which nobody seems to get. The victim card is laid down instantly and anyone saying otherwise is obviously a misogynist.

People should learn to draw the line between shitty personal encounter and actual misogyny.

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