I agree wholeheartedly with this article, however I don't think it's fair to use such a wide brush. "This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at _This_ Bitcoin Meetup" would have been more appropriate. There are bad apples in every community, and it certainly sounds like the author met some, but it's important to realize that a few bad apples don't ruin the whole bushel.
This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup
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Re: This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup
#12[deleted]
I'm pretty socially-retarded, but a lot of this sounded pretty not-cool.
Re: This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup
#13> In my mind, it’s a little preposterous that if I want to do so, however, I have to be ok with being felt up and indirectly insulted. To the author: You're right, it's unacceptable but you know how to fix it? You say something at the point in which it occurs. Nip it in the bud. Running off to write yet another gender-division-in-the-tech-world blog which will be read, primarily, by the sort of folk who already agree…
Easier said than done. I've been "out" for years and despite being opinionated and a "proud" person, I still find it extremely hard to put my neck out there and call others out (and interesting, it's much easier for me to stand up for female friends than it is to stand up for myself or other LGBT-specifically related issues).
It's hard enough to do, at all, to confront someone. But it's another thing when you've just been thrown completely off-kilter by having a stranger inappropriately groping you in public (Plus, you think he's going to have a positive reaction to her chiding him? Somehow I doubt it.). I'll give her a pass on not reprimanding him. (Plus, your post has the distinct scent of victim blaming)
Re: This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup
#14> In my mind, it’s a little preposterous that if I want to do so, however, I have to be ok with being felt up and indirectly insulted. To the author: You're right, it's unacceptable but you know how to fix it? You say something at the point in which it occurs. Nip it in the bud. Running off to write yet another gender-division-in-the-tech-world blog which will be read, primarily, by the sort of folk who already agree…
This is a great point, but it's hard to be confrontational in a place where you're already worried about your social standing. I agree that things would change faster if people were more confrontational but it's kind of a lot to ask. Posting a blog post about it (and one that's well-written, with good examples and explanation) is also a great step forward, and requires substantial courage on its own.
Re: This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup
#15> In my mind, it’s a little preposterous that if I want to do so, however, I have to be ok with being felt up and indirectly insulted. To the author: You're right, it's unacceptable but you know how to fix it? You say something at the point in which it occurs. Nip it in the bud. Running off to write yet another gender-division-in-the-tech-world blog which will be read, primarily, by the sort of folk who already agree…
I'm really turned off by these posts, too. I roll my eyes and mutter "Christ, not another one". But I'm a male who doesn't have to worry about being groped and I keep my hands to myself.
But let me guess how the reality turns out for her:
- She says something about it.
- The guy who is misbehaving is probably physically bigger than her. She may feel fearful of speaking up.
or
- She speaks up and gets called a "prude" or, ironically, a "slut". Maybe they'll blame it on her sweater being a little too form-fitting, or a little too low-cut.
Then, she follows your advice and posts what happened and the resulting action which results in even more criticism, death and rape threats than the course she actually took here.
If you have a young daughter, these are the kinds of issues she'll have to deal with some day. Might as well think about this now.
Re: This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup
#16[deleted]
No. The guys she's writing about need to not:
* Hug people they've never met.
* Put their hands on people's legs seconds after meeting them.
* Put everything a particular woman says into the frame of "Women don't do X."
* Assume that women who attend tech meetups are exclusively there as the girlfriends of the men present.
Re: This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup
#17The story is pretty sad and not reflective of the tech community in my opinion. It sounds like a group of either a) nerdy guys with severely lacking social skills or b) just garden-variety douchebags.
Re: This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup
#18might be a west coast thing.
Re: This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup
#19Good thing that, unlike meetups, the bitcoin protocol doesn't care if a bitcoin address is controlled by a man or a woman.
I mean, that's the whole point of having a collective ledger where every agent is untrusted. There is no one saying, "Your money is no good here," based on your gender, race, creed, or political leanings.
Re: This is What it's Like to Be a Woman at a Bitcoin Meetup
#20> In my mind, it’s a little preposterous that if I want to do so, however, I have to be ok with being felt up and indirectly insulted. To the author: You're right, it's unacceptable but you know how to fix it? You say something at the point in which it occurs. Nip it in the bud. Running off to write yet another gender-division-in-the-tech-world blog which will be read, primarily, by the sort of folk who already agree…
I'm really turned off by these posts, too. I roll my eyes and mutter "Christ, not another one". But I'm a male who doesn't have to worry about being groped and I keep my hands to myself. But let me guess how the reality turns out for her: - She says something about it. - The guy who is misbehaving is probably physically bigger than her. She may feel fearful of speaking up. or - She speaks up and gets called a "prude"…
disclaimer: I'm on her side.
I've never really understood the potential-physical-confrontation argument. It must be a very, very small minority of men who's first reaction to being embarrassed and shamed by a woman is to physically assault her in public?