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How a Math Genius Hacked OkCupid to Find True Love

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Re: How a Math Genius Hacked OkCupid to Find True Love

#181

Post by User8712 »

ozim wrote: post #153
User8712 wrote: post #113

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Agreed, I've used other sites, not OkCupid, but ended up with the same result. I keep it dead simple, write a couple of lines, and if they respond with a hint of interest, I just ask them out for something casual. It works really well. Approaches that failed... 1. Short messages like you said, 'hi, how are you?'. They basically get deleted instantly. 2. Long, thoughtful messages. I'd write a few paragraphs trying to…

asking out early for me works opposite way, maybe i am not fancy enough with just offering to grab a coffe together.

Hmm, maybe don't make it sound too formal.

Bad. Would you like to get a coffee together sometime?

Good. I'm heading into town on Saturday, do you want to grab a quick drink at XYZ cafe early afternoon? They make a mean espresso. Anyway, I need to run for now, but let me know!

Something along those lines usually works for me. I might be analyzing things too much, but with the second example...

1. You're already going into town, it doesn't sound like you just sit at home, but instead you actually get out. Also, this coffee isn't the focus of the day, it's just a quick get together, and not a big deal for anyone.

2. You make decisive plans, which sounds confident.

3. You said you need to run, once again showing you're a busy person, with a life.

Re: How a Math Genius Hacked OkCupid to Find True Love

#182

Post by Houshalter »

asnyder wrote: post #9

This is a duplicate of https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7098563 Also, here's my .02 re-posted from the comments section: Rather than answer the questions that were important to him he decided to find a set of people he thought he would like then only answer the questions they care about, and not even the way he would naturally answer them, rather he used an algorithm to determine the weight that would be best to…

He said that he answered the questions honestly and didn't lie on his profile. It was merely a matter of exploiting OKCupid's algorithms to get himself recommended to women he liked. And he was quite successful; How many men get 20 unsolicited messages a day or easily get 88 dates with attractive women.

You suggest he should just trust OKCupid's algorithms to find people, but that's assuming that their algorithms are good in the first place, and that there isn't much competition from other men doing the same thing.

Re: How a Math Genius Hacked OkCupid to Find True Love

#183

Post by User8712 »

User8712 wrote: post #181
ozim wrote: post #153

Earlier quoted context omitted.

asking out early for me works opposite way, maybe i am not fancy enough with just offering to grab a coffe together.

Hmm, maybe don't make it sound too formal. Bad. Would you like to get a coffee together sometime? Good. I'm heading into town on Saturday, do you want to grab a quick drink at XYZ cafe early afternoon? They make a mean espresso. Anyway, I need to run for now, but let me know! Something along those lines usually works for me. I might be analyzing things too much, but with the second example... 1. You're already going…

Also, keep in mind you're going to get turned down. You can be Brat Pitt, and you'll still get turned down more times than you can count. Don't take it personally, just tweak up your profile, photos, and messages so you get a little better response rate, and that's all you can do.

Re: How a Math Genius Hacked OkCupid to Find True Love

#184

Post by beachstartup »

acqq wrote: post #112

I am feeling sorry for all the women subjected to all that spam, not only by this guy. And talking about this guy, let's be honest, he was different from other "spam" contacts by implementing a bot-assisted spamming, nothing he should be praised for. Math genius? More a spambot writer, but not for money, for an advantage.

don't kid yourself. women are people too, just like men. they love the validation of receiving tons of messages, even if it's spammy.

Re: How a Math Genius Hacked OkCupid to Find True Love

#185

Post by statguy »

crazygringo wrote: post #28

It's funny... doing all this 'hacking' to create profiles with awesome match %'s... is pretty pointless. In my personal experience, a match below 80% is a red flag (serious incompatibilities), but above 85% there aren't any big differences. Like he said, he went on 55 dates, but only three second dates. The 55 dates really isn't too hard to do without the hacking, it's just a question of time. And the "three second d…

He has published a book http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HY351S2 that might have more of the details.

Re: How a Math Genius Hacked OkCupid to Find True Love

#186

Post by qq66 »

normloman wrote: post #162
qq66 wrote: post #132

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Is there anything actually wrong with dating specifically because they're Cambodian? Anymore than dating someone specifically because they have a certain body type, or certain hair color, or certain sports team affiliation?

Limiting your dating pool to just Cambodians is just as stupid as limiting the pool to just blondes or just Yankees fans. Because in the long run, these things don't matter. Unless you're a special little snowflake who just can bare to sleep with a Mets fan. I can see body type making a difference, because it's important to find your mate attractive. But even then, don't harp on it too much. I know a guy who refuses…

I agree with everything you said, but it seems as though dating someone because they're Cambodian is often judged more harshly than dating someone because they're blonde. Yet, from my uninformed guess, I'd speculate that people from a specific country have more specific cultural or personality traits than people of a certain hair color or sports fandom. For example, despite millions of exceptions on each side, Australians are more extroverted and gregarious than Swiss. I can imagine an extremely extroverted Swiss person trying to find a similar companion saying, "I'd like to date an Australian person" instead of the much more complicated process of finding similar personality types among their compatriots.

Re: How a Math Genius Hacked OkCupid to Find True Love

#187

Post by chronic25 »

smsm42 wrote: post #178
joshfraser wrote: post #106

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Change your income to say "Greater than 1 million / year". The women will come to you. They might not be the women you want, but it's a much smarter attribute to lie about than say your height which she'll figure out right away.

I don't think the goal is to get any random women to talk to you. This can be achieved much easier. The goal here is get the specific kind of women - ones that you'd enjoy being with - to notice you and talk to you. It's like "I want to meet a person, any person" (just go out and you're done in about a minute unless you live in a desert) and "I want to find a friend" (that may be a bit harder and may not just work by…

As we've seen on HN, many people have trouble getting even a few dates.

Re: How a Math Genius Hacked OkCupid to Find True Love

#188

Post by defen »

DannyBee wrote: post #57
scarmig wrote: post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The generally accepted rule is 1) Be attractive and 2) Don't be unattractive. That's more than a bit reductionist, of course, but tweaking your profile text or message texts only helps at the margins, assuming you don't have deal breakers. com2kid isn't going to be getting dozens of inbound messages a month just by revising his profile (sorry, com2kid). (On the other hand, updating your pictures genuinely can give yo…

Sorry, but this is just bullshit. It's what guys tell themselves because they can't write reasonable profiles or write non-creepy messages to women. I've read what most guys send my female friends on okcupid. Not just the random idiots, but what i would think would be otherwise intelligent people. It often comes off as desperate or creepy. It's certainly true that it helps to be attractive. But I'm an average looking…

That profile is hilarious. Maybe I'm giving the average OKC woman too much credit, but are you sure they aren't picking up on the satire?

Re: How a Math Genius Hacked OkCupid to Find True Love

#190

Post by mohamedzahid »

S4M wrote: post #129

What I take from this article: - OkCupid is good for finding a one night stand - their matching algorithm could be improved Disclaimer: I'm married and never used OkCupid or any dating site.

This article explains what could be improved in OKCupid's algorithm: http://proofmathisbeautiful.tumblr.com/post/13186514242/what...
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