I want to relate this to Richard Branson's family advice to Elon Musk sprinkled throughout a recent Google Hangout[1]. > I hope he can find some wonderful people to help him. He's got five children at home, all boys... he just, uh, he needs to... uh, yeah, I hope you can find lots of time. You just got to find lots of people to help you. I can't imagine the kind of family life Elon Musk can have if he has five boys w…
Success at Work, Failure at Home
141–150 of 169 posts
Re: Success at Work, Failure at Home
#142I very clearly remember the week this clicked in my brain. Being very successful, really crushing it, and whining to my wife that the company should give more vacation, and her reminding me that I had been at work on Christmas Eve. My whole perspective collapsed around that instant. I could see the hit in career path I was going to take by changing my perspective, but I decided to do it anyway. And I have always been…
I've often wondered about this, whether it's possible to still be a big career success and compete against those who are willing to give up their whole personal life for it. I'm not entirely certain I've got an answer, but the solution that comes to me is to make use of certain competitive advantages you have that they don't: 1.) When you're heads-down on a goal, you often miss other things that are going on in the w…
Re: Success at Work, Failure at Home
#143So what I'm reading here is why CEOs shouldn't go to the office on weekends and check their mail at dinner. What's glaringly absent from the second part of this article is not asking the engineers to come in on weekends, either. Those guys have families and their negligible equity certainly doesn't justify 80-hour weeks. It sounds to me like the author would rather have gone home on weekends while the engineers staye…
> I also believe this change is actually a much better example of leadership than the one I was exuding. When a leader shows the way toward getting things done and balancing their life, it sets a much better example for everyone else in the company who struggle with it too.
He says it right there.
Re: Success at Work, Failure at Home
#144Earlier quoted context omitted.
You're a new parent, you're working 40 hours per week and somehow your employers are incredibly supportive ? I don't know what the psychological term is. Cognitive dissonance? Stockholm syndrome?
After working the first few months and taking days/weeks off whenever I wanted to, I took an entire month off with full pay and no PTO days. They didn't even question it. If I need to take more time off on the order of months, it wouldn't be a problem. On top of that I had to push out some deadlines by a couple of months. That's incredibly supportive in my book.
Re: Success at Work, Failure at Home
#145Re: Success at Work, Failure at Home
#146My wife and I are going through this right now. My wife has a senior director position in a multi-billion dollar financial company, and I am a programmer at a startup. We just had a child several months ago, and it's been very hard trying to balance work and life. It's actually the hardest thing we've both had to do in our lives. Her job is a minimum of 60-hrs per week, but luckily I'm able to limit my work to 40-hrs…
You're a new parent, you're working 40 hours per week and somehow your employers are incredibly supportive ? I don't know what the psychological term is. Cognitive dissonance? Stockholm syndrome?
Re: Success at Work, Failure at Home
#147Earlier quoted context omitted.
Each time I read madness as 60h/w, 70h/w or the wtf 80h/w I am really happy to live and work on EU I'm happy I don't live in EU. I don't have to work 80 hours, but if I choose to then that should be my right. Europe is too anti-ambition and its policies reflect that.
Well if you're the boss it's your right to work as long as you want, but it's not OK to abuse your employees and make them work ridiculous hours.
Re: Success at Work, Failure at Home
#148Earlier quoted context omitted.
That's not the point. The management team is showing solidarity with their team by serving them in the only (more symbolic than economically valuable) ways that they can. It's a symbolic (but real) sharing of the sacrifice, not a straight up bribe. Same reason I've come in on Christmas night (we scheduled the work after the families are reasonably in bed, but the calendar still said "12/25") to spend time with my tea…
But who plans a New Year's Eve datacenter migration? What kind of major site maintenance is needed on Christmas? It's one thing if it's an unplanned emergency. It's another entirely if it's planned. Planning for work on Christmas or New Year's Eve would be enough to convince me to find employment elsewhere.
How does this happen?
Suppose we find ourselves running a high-margin e-commerce business and needing to take downtime sometime to accomplish some maintenance work. When should we schedule it? Managers and directors of teams in my Ops org researched the expected bookings during various windows and suggested those times. They recommended them to me. I spent some of the planning effort double-checking and making sure the teams would be signed up for that, and got a consistent message of "This is what Ops does; we all knew what we were signing up for when we took this job." (Side note: Of the 9 people on that DC migration trip, 8 still work here, 5+ years later.)
On the 11PM on 12/25 outage, we were upgrading OS on a few key infrastructure servers that were singletons. (We relied on DB and file servers in a way that didn't give us the ability to do maintenance and serve traffic at the same time.)
On the DC move, we were literally decommissioning our main DC and moving those services to a new DC in the same town. We bought and brought online as much duplicate gear as we could, but the core transactional systems were a singleton and needed to be moved, not replicated, and that was going to be 4-8 hours of downtime. My teams chose to put that downtime into a time when we'd lose $1MM of high-margin bookings rather than $3MM of high-margin bookings.
Our CEO, without me asking, was also keeping tabs on the migration (from his house) and sent IMs and emails congratulating and thanking the team for our work when we wrapped things up around 4 AM on 1/1. So, I got to see both sides of it: doing what I believed was right as a leader and being present and engaged when they were doing a less pleasant part of their job, and I got to feel what it was like to get clear engagement and genuine thanks from above, even though it was technically "just" a symbolic gesture. He could have sent that mail at 10 AM the next day, but knowing him, he was keeping tabs on the work not to check up on us or because he was petrified of a multi-day outage, but because he wanted to be able to be the first one to thank us.
Side note: these experiences allowed me to better understand what Ops goes through, and have caused us to prioritize (and since complete) architectural projects that permit us to do almost every bit of periodic maintenance with the site online. We haven't taken planned downtime in several years now, because we've made those improvements. From a pure dollars-and-sense standpoint, those projects "shouldn't win" over larger business opportunities that we have, but they did win, in significant part because they were the right thing to do for our people, and having been there, I can argue for them from a position of first-hand knowledge.
There is an awful lot of negativity and anti-company sentiment whenever inevitable situations come up where, on an instantaneous basis, either the employee can get what's best for them XOR the company can get what's best for it. I don't personally see these situations to be quite the same as Walmart opening at 5 PM on Thanksgiving Day, but I'm open to the idea that others see them as being exactly the same thing.
I understand and respect the perspective of someone who would never do planned work on a holiday, or even those who would never do planned work on a weekend. It's a perfectly reasonable point of view, and I will happily employ those people in roles that don't require off-hours work. Those people will presumably not choose a career in operations, or at least they probably shouldn't.
It is always the case that I speak for myself and not my employer, but it's worth calling that out on this post in particular.
Re: Success at Work, Failure at Home
#149Re: Success at Work, Failure at Home
#150Earlier quoted context omitted.
Got the same impression.
I wonder if you might have skipped or didn't relate to the 50% - 75% travel part. In my experience it's not the travel, per se, even though the jet lag can be killer. It means being On 100% of the time you're away. The raw number of hours of being Always On for your company--around the world, with different people in different contexts--creates an emotional distance to one's family, because your mental world becomes…
PS-- I'm on the road every Mon thru Thursday and pretty much live in a hotel. I didn't relate to this pierce. It's. Rey possible, then, I don't have the skills to be a CEO.