>But when you come to HN, 10-to-1 the comments are all about punishing the manager by leaving
It's not about punishing the manager, it's about getting the best job you can.
The problem, I think, was how the original question was phrased. It made it sound like a moral problem "You don't deserve good developers" which is a not very professional way of looking at it.
It's not your job to teach your boss how to do his or her job, and for cultural reasons, usually attempts to do so are met with hostility. The closest I have come without causing problems is buying my boss books. And even that... well, it was presumptuous, and it didn't change the boss' behavior, but it also didn't seem to blow back on me.
The question would have gone better if it were framed as an economic issue, a "what's best for me" issue, rather than as a "how can I change my boss" issue.
"I am getting paid less here than I think I could get paid elsewhere. That was okay before, because I am willing to take a pay cut to be treated a certain way, but management has changed now. What do I do?"
The problem here is that what the employee wants (and was sacrificing money to get) was a certain management style. If you want more money, you can negotiate that with your boss. If you want a new management style? you probably aren't going to be able to negotiate that. You could negotiate specific consequences of that management style, say, flex-time, but the root of it is still there. You probably aren't going to change your boss' management style.
In that case? A rational actor would leave the company. I mean, they would do so as gracefully as possible, of course, but you aren't going to change your boss' management style.