Public speaking is tough

> I say just man (or woman) up and accept the fact that you are nervous. […] It's valuable to realize why you are nervous.

I can realise that I'm being nervous without it getting crippling (literally, with shakes and cold sweat). Which is what currently occurs because following a medical reaction a few years ago my body has apparently discovered the underpants gnome strategy of handling stress:

1. somewhat stressful situation

2. flood the whole system with adrenaline

3. ???

4. profit

> You're nervous because feedback is (often) immediate and you can be challenged directly. You're nervous because you're not completely comfortable with the subject matter.

Well you've got today's prize for the most condescending and least correct statement at least. Bravo, I guess.

> Just wing it. Seriously. > Why is it that so few schools teach children how to speak in public? > It is not difficult, all you need is a debating society.

Speech and Debate was, by far, the class in high school that has done more for me than any other class. The ability to stand up in front of people and start speaking is powerful. The ability to think of a topic and speak interestingly for 10 minutes on the subject is powerful.

Doesn't matter that I still have to remind myself to slow down or stop pacing or make eye contact or whatever else. People ask me how I learned to do that, and I always tell them about my Speech and Debate class.

The Foreign Extemporaneous Speaking I did during debate events in high school was wonderful. I still remember may favorite comment on a judges sheet. They'd told me that when I started speaking and shared my position, they disagreed immediately and thought I was wrong, but after those seven minutes, I'd completely changed their mind. That, for me, was the highest praise I could obtain.

Today, the ability to speak in front of people on the spot makes me more confident to speak up. It makes me more confident in so many areas of my life. I agree, schools fail to recognize how important that skill is. They don't realize how often it becomes useful in one's life.

I was lucky. My school wasn't the largest, but we had a full debating team, and frequently attended events throughout the year. But yeah, spot on. Get your kids into speech and debate. It will serve them the rest of their lives.

I have enzyme issue with Alcohol, but I believe that is a nice trick.

From personal experience, and from someone who had tremendous problem with public speaking to someone who performed very well at a toast master event in NYC without any preparation. I can say quite a few things on the subject.

One thing is for sure. We are all afraid of other people. No matter who we are. It is just that fear get expressed in different ways. Some people are being shy and passive, while some are being aggressive and over-confident. Until we discover who we really are. Using tricks (power point) and strategies (drink alcohol/weed) will not take us far.

What made the most difference in my process is some ontological training like this leadership course. The course doesn't really say that it will help you with public speaking. Just that you will leave the course

"Being a Leader and Exercise Leadership Effectively as your own natural Self-Expression"

Nothing more, nothing less.

However, the course has nice side-effects, like public speaking.

The course is NOT cheap, but I consider it worth more than my college degree. Next one is at Singapore. FYI, I have no financial tight to the course or University.

http://beingaleader-singapore.com

Do you write word-for-word scripts, or just loose collections of keywords? I've never managed to give a good speech while trying to exactly recite a prepared script, I either screwed up or it sounded as if I was just reading it off (vs really talking to the audience). I also struggled to find the current position in the script when looking down. Completely memorizing doesn't work since I just can't.

My best talks (based on the feedback I got) have been based on a few keywords and connecting them with a narrative, live. Free-form storytelling, so to say.

One thing that's extremely helpful is to care as little as possible about the opinions of other people. What do they matter, anyway?

I'm half joking, but not caring what people think really does let me be calm in public speaking. There's no reason to be nervous if the only possible negative consequence is a bad opinion you don't care about anyway.

Of course, this isn't something you can just turn on like a switch....