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Public speaking is tough

speaking.io

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Re: Public speaking is tough

#81

Post by TheLegace »

Morgawr wrote: post #32
nostromo wrote: post #4

Here's two pieces of public speaking advice nobody will tell you about, but actually work. 1) Beta-blockers. Ask your doctor. 2) Alcohol. Obviously, be careful with this. :) But having a drink really will take the edge off. This works better when giving a toast as a best man than it does at work. It could probably work at a conference too. Other than this, for a big talk or pitch, I just practice until I'm blue in th…

The most important thing is that after 30 seconds or so, your body will start to calm down This is so true. While I haven't given many speeches in my life yet, I've had some experience playing in public at concerts (max I had was 500 people probably so not a huge crowd, but still plenty). Every time I would step on stage with my band, I'd feel like I locked up, unable to do anything other than just stare at the crowd…

Sweet I thought I was the only metalhead on HN.

Re: Public speaking is tough

#82

Post by jrockway »

beloch wrote: post #42

Everyone probably has some good advice for public speaking. Here's my #1 piece: Slow the fuck down! You don't "win" at public speaking by getting more words in. In fact, you'll likely lose your audience by going a mile a minute. It makes perfect sense, but it's still hard to do. You can practice your talk in private a hundred times and it'll be X minutes. You can present your talk to colleagues and co-workers and it'…

I get this piece of feedback a lot when I give my talks, since I usually try to pack about 6 hours of material into 20 minutes. But honestly, I get really bored when speakers do slow down, so I'm kind of conflicted: am I aiming my talk at myself, or am I aiming it at a person that supposedly exists but I don't intrinsically know?

Re: Public speaking is tough

#83

Post by randomdrake »

jrockway wrote: post #82
beloch wrote: post #42

Everyone probably has some good advice for public speaking. Here's my #1 piece: Slow the fuck down! You don't "win" at public speaking by getting more words in. In fact, you'll likely lose your audience by going a mile a minute. It makes perfect sense, but it's still hard to do. You can practice your talk in private a hundred times and it'll be X minutes. You can present your talk to colleagues and co-workers and it'…

I get this piece of feedback a lot when I give my talks, since I usually try to pack about 6 hours of material into 20 minutes. But honestly, I get really bored when speakers do slow down, so I'm kind of conflicted: am I aiming my talk at myself, or am I aiming it at a person that supposedly exists but I don't intrinsically know?

This has absolutely nothing to do with who you're aiming at and everything to do with our general tendency to speak way too fast publicly. As a techie who has given talks that was a professional actor for many years as well, I can tell you, with confidence, that "slow down" is just generally good advice for absolutely everyone who must be on stage in front of a crowd.

Some people are just fine and don't have to worry about this. However, for most people, even well trained stage actors, it is completely unconscious that you are speeding up and you will almost certainly not be aware when it's happening. So, if you just remember: "slow down" whether you feel like you're talking fast or not, chances are you're just slowing down to "just right."

Re: Public speaking is tough

#84

Post by jrockway »

randomdrake wrote: post #83
jrockway wrote: post #82

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I get this piece of feedback a lot when I give my talks, since I usually try to pack about 6 hours of material into 20 minutes. But honestly, I get really bored when speakers do slow down, so I'm kind of conflicted: am I aiming my talk at myself, or am I aiming it at a person that supposedly exists but I don't intrinsically know?

This has absolutely nothing to do with who you're aiming at and everything to do with our general tendency to speak way too fast publicly. As a techie who has given talks that was a professional actor for many years as well, I can tell you, with confidence, that "slow down" is just generally good advice for absolutely everyone who must be on stage in front of a crowd. Some people are just fine and don't have to worry…

Hmm, OK. I'll give it a try.

Re: Public speaking is tough

#85

Post by simonebrunozzi »

chops wrote: post #10
k-mcgrady wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You're advising medication mixed with alcohol to help people speak better in front of a crowd??

Isn't that how everyone prepares to give a presentation? I thought it was standard operating procedure.

LOL.

Re: Public speaking is tough

#86

Post by xivzgrev »

Codhisattva wrote: post #3

Practice at Toastmasters meetings.

I'm president of local Toastmasters club in SF - I strongly agree with this comment ;).

But seriously, it's a very supportive environment and you get great, actionable feedback on every speech. Really fast way to develop yourself.

Re: Public speaking is tough

#87

Post by bjelkeman-again »

TheLegace wrote: post #81
Morgawr wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The most important thing is that after 30 seconds or so, your body will start to calm down This is so true. While I haven't given many speeches in my life yet, I've had some experience playing in public at concerts (max I had was 500 people probably so not a huge crowd, but still plenty). Every time I would step on stage with my band, I'd feel like I locked up, unable to do anything other than just stare at the crowd…

Sweet I thought I was the only metalhead on HN.

I think there are plenty here.

Re: Public speaking is tough

#89

Post by makmanalp »

nostromo wrote: post #4

Here's two pieces of public speaking advice nobody will tell you about, but actually work. 1) Beta-blockers. Ask your doctor. 2) Alcohol. Obviously, be careful with this. :) But having a drink really will take the edge off. This works better when giving a toast as a best man than it does at work. It could probably work at a conference too. Other than this, for a big talk or pitch, I just practice until I'm blue in th…

Other interesting tips & phenomena from my small amount of experience:

- No one cares if you fuck up, seriously! A bit of self deprecating humor goes a long way here. "Ha-ha! I'm so terrible at this!" or even a more sincere "I'm terrified of public speaking so I forgot what I was going to say next!" usually elicits a laugh and sympathy. No one is natural at this, and most people don't practice it at all, and they don't want to. They get it.

- Following that, the only notes you should have are "checkpoints" as I like to call them. A 3 or 4 word phrase about what you're going to talk about in the next 30 seconds. If you forget, you fall back to the checkpoint, realize what you were talking about, keep going. An outline, if you will. Don't ever have "notes" that have exact wording in them. No! Disallow yourself to memorize wording, because that's how you lock up and forget. Instead, make sure you can explain each checkpoint yourself, to a friend. The wording will be different each time, and that's fine. You want that. It makes it more organic and gets you out of robot-recital-mode and puts you in ad-lib-i'm-good-at-this mode.

- While you're presenting, it feels like you're in warp speed. Things are happening so fast, and you're responding to them so fast. I suspect it's the adrenaline. Once in a while, you forget what you were going to say, or you think you're spending too much time thinking about an answer. Then you watch yourself on video and you realise it was only 2 seconds.

Even Michael Bay could have recovered from that by saying "wow, major brain fart!", and people would be commenting on how sincere he is. And if he hadn't memorized some impressive sounding bollocks word for word, and instead had a message to convey, he'd recover from that soon after.

If it's not just the presentation heebie-jeebies and you think you legitimately have crippling social / performance anxiety, you should try one of the many great programs out there that help you with that. In the Boston area, MGH has an entire center dedicated for that, I believe.

These basically help you develop those skills in a safe sandbox, until you get better and more confident, and let you go step by step.

There is no reason you can't try the same approach, if you think you can do it. Present at a small 10 person user group for your favorite obscure programming tool that you're passionate about. If there isn't one, start one! That way you can't avoid public speaking, and you know you're in good company.

Finally, re: Q&A: If you don't know the answer, say that you don't know! If you are thinking, think out loud so it's not boring and awkward for the audience. Both of these I see in tech presentations a lot.

Re: Public speaking is tough

#90

Post by mbenjaminsmith »

nostromo wrote: post #4

Here's two pieces of public speaking advice nobody will tell you about, but actually work. 1) Beta-blockers. Ask your doctor. 2) Alcohol. Obviously, be careful with this. :) But having a drink really will take the edge off. This works better when giving a toast as a best man than it does at work. It could probably work at a conference too. Other than this, for a big talk or pitch, I just practice until I'm blue in th…

I say just man (or woman) up and accept the fact that you are nervous. After a few packed conference rooms or board rooms you'll find it gets easier. Skip the drugs.

It's valuable to realize why you are nervous.

If you were asked to get up in front of 200 people and stand there silently for 10 minutes you wouldn't think twice about it. You're nervous because you're trying to accomplish something: secure investment, win new business, impress people, etc. You're nervous because feedback is (often) immediate and you can be challenged directly. You're nervous because you're not completely comfortable with the subject matter.

You can deal with those things. Learn to (intelligently) say "I don't know but I'll get back to you". Learn to deal with rejection. Learn to not take yourself so seriously and make a joke if you screw up.

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