I think, in his situation, he is doing his best. Not a lot of people earn so much money. Not a lot of people's wives earn so much. I think he deserves a credit for trying. And after some amount of efforts he will get there. I have witnessed a lot of criticism about the 'founder - millionaire goal of life'. People who criticize such goals, I believe do not have big dreams, or for some reason, they can't do it.
Your friend should feel satisfied. Me being a recent grad, earning about half as your friend, fail to even give it a try. That should be considered as stuck. I think, through his attempts, a. he will learn a lot. b. someday, he will get there. Goals should be decided by an individual, you can't decide his goals, or can't call him stupid for chasing million dollars.
I guess that answers the question.
25Y Male making over $250K+ annually. Still stuck. Help?
81–86 of 86 posts
Re: 25Y Male making over $250K+ annually. Still stuck. Help?
#82Earlier quoted context omitted.
> Your brain, like your teeth or your car, needs regular servicing by a professional if you want optimal performance and want to avoid costly repairs. I don't know that I agree. I was fortunate to be raised by incredible parents. I emerged extremely well-adjusted and prepared for adulthood. I am not saying I never benefit from a counselor or therapist. There have been times I have visited each for help and advice, or…
I think we agree in the large part. The part about relying on a third-party professional was assumed. I'm reminded of a relative's teeth: they might have been born with exceptional enamel, preventing all manner of early cavities, but now they lack the oral hygiene habits they need going forward. Along those same lines: to what degree are you uncommonly well-adjusted, versus born to circumstances in which many of your…
Well, I can't claim to know with absolute certainty how I would react in situations that I have never been in; I am not omniscient. I do feel like I am fairly well equipped to handle whatever situation was given to me without regular help from a therapist.
I'm not saying I'm perfect, far from it. But I am well aware of my faults and fairly well aware of what I would need to do to shore them up. That doesn't mean it is easy. Like I said, I don't have any problem going to a therapist for help with something I am struggling with. But I can't imagine any situation in life where I would need to regularly visit a therapist.
Like your relative, I was gifted with great genes as far as my dental health goes. I've never had a cavity or any oral problems for that matter. Somewhere along the way I learned to take care of my teeth properly. However, I still need and benefit from regularly visiting a dentist, despite my good genes or how well equipped I am to handle my teeth on my own. I just don't feel the same about therapists, as wonderful as they can be.
Re: 25Y Male making over $250K+ annually. Still stuck. Help?
#83Earlier quoted context omitted.
Yeah I understand that, I'm just surprised that it's feasible to make that much in technology. I had an offer from Microsoft when I graduated that was about the same so I'd have to gain around 14.5% every year to get to 165k. Seems a bit high or perhaps I was just being lowballed.
Big companies suck at giving raises. I've achieved a pretty decent average-raise-per-year by hopping every year or two (works out to about 13% per year for me), I've only been in the industry for ~4 years. Experience is worth a tremendous amount in this industry, but you'd never realize this if you're too loyal to a single employer. Shop around, hop when it benefits you. Most starting new-grad packages are around $10…
Is this really true outside of FB, Google, etc?
Outside of mobile/web dev?
Re: 25Y Male making over $250K+ annually. Still stuck. Help?
#84Does he live in SV? The culture of SV is the rat race with a small but showy percentage breaking free.
"Nice house for 250K"
No way is this SV.
Re: 25Y Male making over $250K+ annually. Still stuck. Help?
#85Earlier quoted context omitted.
That depends on your definition of success. At a certain level how much money you make doesn't really increase our happiness ( http://blogs.wsj.com/wealth/2010/09/07/the-perfect-salary-fo... ). It's tough, without knowing him, to know what his real goals and desires are, but it seems to me like "make more money" isn't the answer.
He always talks about how he wants to be "free". And he's not "free" yet. Even though he makes money, he still has debt (school loans, mortgage, car payments, daycare, etc etc)..
I'm surprised no one here has said it yet. But your friend is actually quite smart. While he and his wife are making 250K now, there is no guarantee they will be making this much in 10 years. My wife and I had pretty high student loans ... we are doing a somewhat decent job getting these paid off. Sadly, because of all the debt, our net worth is pretty low even though we are in our 30s. Unlike your friend who is lucky/smart enough to earn such a high salary in a place where a decent house costs 250K, my wife and I would need just under a million to get a decent house.
tldr. 250K isn't that much these days when you factor taxes, child care, housing costs and student loan replayments.
Re: 25Y Male making over $250K+ annually. Still stuck. Help?
#86He doesn't understand how to be happy or satisfied. He needs a therapist. I think most people do, they underestimate the value of having an independent sounding board to help work through these kinds of feelings. His expectations are either unrealistic, or he's surrounded by people who are always doing better, despite him doing well, which makes him seem like a failure. He has the luxury of those feelings. Silicon Va…
Spot on. We do things to improve our life because we believe it can be better. He is ready to improve his life and a therapist is the way to go. You feel unhealthy or you don't like being overweight, you change your habits. Some can do it themselves and learn about nutrition and exercise and some need the help of trainers and nutritionist.
I have personally used blahtherapy.com and spoken to a wonderful therapist who just after one session helped me. Sometimes we need people to frame things in a different way. We also need people who we can be fully honest with to really get the input we need. That alone is worth the investment in therapy.
frankphillips, I hope these quotes help you just a little bit, because they are very true.
“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel.” —Steve Furtick.
"You'll be fine. You're 25. Feeling unsure and lost is part of your path. Don't avoid it. See what those feelings are showing you and use it. Take a breath. You'll be okay. Even if you don't feel okay all the time." - Louie CK