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25Y Male making over $250K+ annually. Still stuck. Help?

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Re: 25Y Male making over $250K+ annually. Still stuck. Help?

#71

Post by epipsychidion »

n00b101 wrote: post #68
epipsychidion wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes but at 25? That's 4 years of experience out of college. I'm in my second year working in technology for a large i-bank and I'm barely breaching 100k :(

I know this doesn't need saying ... But I can guarantee you that there are ~25 year old bankers at the investment bank who are making more a lot more than $100k. Technology roles are discounted at investment banks, since they perceive technology as a cost centre, not a profit centre. But at Google/Apple/etc, it's the opposite - technology is a profit centre, and finance roles are a cost centre.

Yeah I understand that, I'm just surprised that it's feasible to make that much in technology. I had an offer from Microsoft when I graduated that was about the same so I'd have to gain around 14.5% every year to get to 165k. Seems a bit high or perhaps I was just being lowballed.

Re: 25Y Male making over $250K+ annually. Still stuck. Help?

#73

Post by User8712 »

frankphilips wrote: post #33
PaulRobinson wrote: post #23

When you earn a decent wage, most people assume you're set for life, however you're not. In fact, it can cause problems that most people can't perceive. Firstly, you tend to live within your salary terms: you get a nice home, you spend a little more on the luxuries of life and you find each month that you don't have quite as much left over as you would expect. You don't need to be showy for this to happen. I know peo…

Paul, I think this is where he fits in. When him and his wife were making only 40K combined, they carpooled to work, lived in a 700sqft apartment, barely went out, etc. Now that they got some money, they bought a decent house ($250K), 2 cars, and they started paying off loans etc. He said even though they make $250K, his monthly expenses are over $7-8K. His whole thing is that he wants to be "financially free". I thi…

At first I thought maybe work didn't seem fulfilling, and he wanted to run his own business. Running a business can be extremely rewarding, so I thought this was his plan. However, if he's only after money, then he might just be chasing a pipe dream.

If he's making millions, he'll probably be buying exotic cars, and feel like a failure because he can't buy a yacht. Then he makes tens of millions, has his new toy yacht, but feels like a failure because he doesn't own a private jet.

With his current income, he should be able to live quite well. You said, he wants to be financially free. If that's his goal, why is he racking up $8k in monthly expenses? It seems like he wants to live a lavish lifestyle, that's always above his means.

Re: 25Y Male making over $250K+ annually. Still stuck. Help?

#74

Post by potatolicious »

epipsychidion wrote: post #71
n00b101 wrote: post #68

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I know this doesn't need saying ... But I can guarantee you that there are ~25 year old bankers at the investment bank who are making more a lot more than $100k. Technology roles are discounted at investment banks, since they perceive technology as a cost centre, not a profit centre. But at Google/Apple/etc, it's the opposite - technology is a profit centre, and finance roles are a cost centre.

Yeah I understand that, I'm just surprised that it's feasible to make that much in technology. I had an offer from Microsoft when I graduated that was about the same so I'd have to gain around 14.5% every year to get to 165k. Seems a bit high or perhaps I was just being lowballed.

Big companies suck at giving raises. I've achieved a pretty decent average-raise-per-year by hopping every year or two (works out to about 13% per year for me), I've only been in the industry for ~4 years.

Experience is worth a tremendous amount in this industry, but you'd never realize this if you're too loyal to a single employer. Shop around, hop when it benefits you.

Most starting new-grad packages are around $100K these days in the Bay Area, and said companies would be content giving you 1% to 3% raises a year from there. To maximize your value you must change jobs.

Re: 25Y Male making over $250K+ annually. Still stuck. Help?

#75

Post by jshq111 »

I hit a similar psychological patch a bit later than your friend (low. 30s). I would never tell someone to have kids if it's not what they want in life just as a punt to see if it fills a void. I will say that after having kids I found a level of meaning in life I never expected (I was never anti-kid but being a dad wasn't something I dreamt about either and I had the standard fears/reservations). It's not 100% but I have vastly less angst now that I'm not fulfilling some grand cosmic mission with my life. I've found happiness a different way.

Re: 25Y Male making over $250K+ annually. Still stuck. Help?

#76

Post by User8712 »

joshbaptiste wrote: post #60

I don't get this rush to have a full blown family in your early/mid twenties. I was terrified of having children in my twenties and just enjoyed travelling and hanging out with friends and not be tied down with such responsibilities. Now in my mid thirties I don't have this void feeling inside and ready for whatever my current long term relationship brings about.

Same, spent most of my twenties enjoying the world, and focusing on business. I wouldn't do it any other way, while a lot of my friends are tied down with houses and families in their twenties.

I'm jealous of one thing though. They got to spend their twenties with the partner they'll spend the rest of their life with. I've had a lot of great times in my 20s, but those memories are mostly with people that have come and gone. If you're meeting someone and starting a family in your thirties, it needs to move quickly, and women always want to have children before 35. So, if you meet someone early thirties, you're spending a quick year or two together, and starting a family. If you meet early twenties, you could spend at least a decade growing and experiencing a lot together before starting a family.

So, that's my one regret, I'll never be a 40 or 50 year old, being able to reminisce with my partner about the fun adventures we had together in our 20s.

However, you can't have it both ways, and I imagine people that settle down or start a long term relationship early feel like they missed out on a few years of independent freedom.

Re: 25Y Male making over $250K+ annually. Still stuck. Help?

#77

Post by tekalon »

joshbaptiste wrote: post #60

I don't get this rush to have a full blown family in your early/mid twenties. I was terrified of having children in my twenties and just enjoyed travelling and hanging out with friends and not be tied down with such responsibilities. Now in my mid thirties I don't have this void feeling inside and ready for whatever my current long term relationship brings about.

Different people work at different paces. I don't like traveling and 'hanging out with friends' isn't as much of an appeal for me, or at least enough to interfere with a family. I'm actually scared of having kids in my 30's (mainly to avoid complications) and wanting to be young enough to enjoy kids and grandkids.

Re: 25Y Male making over $250K+ annually. Still stuck. Help?

#78

Post by mercer »

briandw wrote: post #47
tomrod wrote: post #18

There are a number of things to consider. Finding accomplishment in life is something many struggle with. Perhaps your friend would feel some accomplishment by: * Mentoring new startups * Mentoring disadvantaged youth * Religion * Community service/projects * Becoming involved in local government service * Horticulture * Woodwork/old car restoration/old computer restoration * Adopt an elderly neighbor as a "grandpare…

Religion: How is a faith system i.e. "pretending to know things that you don't know" going to help? Community is a good thing, sure. But how does faith help?

Having spent most of my life in a very tight-knit, conservative religious group, I've found that it's the interaction between shared beliefs, shared values, frequent 'formal' and informal get-togethers, a sense of care for 'our own' and a sense of purpose (salt of the earth). And probably a bunch of other, less-obvious things.

About seven or eight years ago I lost my faith, and I have not found anything that quite replaces that. It's quite worthwhile, but obviously very difficult if 1) you don't actually believe what said group does, and 2) you actively dislike some of their beliefs (homophobia, etc.).

But even with all the bad stuff, I might one day join a church again.

Re: 25Y Male making over $250K+ annually. Still stuck. Help?

#79

Post by tomrod »

jstelly wrote: post #61
briandw wrote: post #47

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Religion: How is a faith system i.e. "pretending to know things that you don't know" going to help? Community is a good thing, sure. But how does faith help?

Your definition of faith is incorrect. Faith in anything (religious or not) is merely choosing to believe in it without the necessary evidence or facts that would prove it to be true. "Pretending to know" implies something fairly different. I'm not sure I would recommend religion to this person. But I wouldn't be surprised if his unhappiness comes from what he chooses to believe in some context.

I'm not arguing that this is the only nor optimal solution, certainly. Nor that he should adopt or adhere to something he doesn't believe. I mention this simply to note that many in the stage of life where they're discontent and are "soul-searching" find solace and meaning in religion.

In short, it's an option that's there.

Re: 25Y Male making over $250K+ annually. Still stuck. Help?

#80

Post by rbchv »

http://helloimnadia.com/post/68175306402/how-to-ensure-finan...

The above article seems like a good point of view. Basically achieving the top 1% is an ideal that's sold to us but very very unlikely to become reality. A much better approach would be to find contentment in what you're doing.

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