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Have you ever been successful in changing your personality?

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Re: Have you ever been successful in changing your personality?

#31
post #25

You can change this trait! I promise you, you're not stuck with it. I'm about your age and I was a huge procrastinator and underachiever until only 2-3 years ago. Since then, mostly through "grit", I was able to acquire a job as a senior software engineer, despite having no degree, and not even owning a computer until I was 23. I suspect you are like me in that you are much more interested in novelty and idea generat…

your advice is truly motivating!You are spot on, I have ALMOST ALWAYS tried to pursue more than one project and almost always jump of the wagon when the boring parts hit and worse the guilty feeling of having not done the boring parts basically won't let me work on the other interesting piece too and I switch back and forth and give up eventually on both or do it with poor quality

Re: Have you ever been successful in changing your personality?

#32

Is your personality type 'INTP', perchance? INTPs have these constant internal battles. We're good at concentrating and love working in the realm of ideas. However, we're often an impractical lot and procrastination is pretty rampant among the other INTPs I know. The biggest problem, I think, is that we just really suck at perceiving the passage of time, and the daydreaming, writing, or discussion of ideas is often r…

yes I am indeed an INTP and every single word of your comment applies to me, boy you almost sound like my twin brother :-)

Re: Have you ever been successful in changing your personality?

#33
You need pain. All this "30 days to form a new habit" stuff is bullshit - for certain personality types anyway. I went to the gym for months but it eventually tailed off.

I've found the best motivator is always pain. I was sloppy at cleaning my teeth until I had some major dental pain and a ton of expensive dental surgery. Now I'm brushing and flossing all the time - guaranteed.

I used to be sloppy at dealing with e-mails. Now I try and get on the case right away as I found the pain and shame of dealing with irate people calling me up to be worse than just doing the e-mail.

So, pain, that's my recommendation. It's also something Tony Robbins tends to go on about. Find pains associated with undesired behaviors and realize them. Find pleasures associated with desired behaviors and realize them. The rest follows automatically.

Re: Have you ever been successful in changing your personality?

#34
post #17

One thing I've learned is that you have the power of mind control. And the more you use it, the better you are at it. So, in the case of trying to commit yourself to new goals, first decide on a goal. Then decide when you want to apply time to the goal. And then, most importantly, when you're not working on your goal, use mind control to not negatively think about the goal and the efforts involved to accomplish that…

Excellent point, Thank you!.I go over the task in my mind so many times that I get more and more overwhelmed and ever so often because of external pressure or deadline I am forced to complete it I realize that for what I probably wasted 2 weeks thinking about took only about 2-3 hours to get done

Re: Have you ever been successful in changing your personality?

#35

Some no nonsense anti- procrastination/perfectionism tips: Structured Procrastination http://www.structuredprocrastination.com The Cult of Done Manifesto http://www.brepettis.com/blog/2009/3/3/the-cult-of-done-mani... Merlin Mann on Doing Creative Work http://www.maximumfun.org/sound-young-america/maxfuncon-merl... Beating The Little Hater http://www.podtech.net/home/4760/beating-the-little-hater Ze Frank on Executin…

Thanks!Appreciate all the links!

Re: Have you ever been successful in changing your personality?

#36

Is your personality type 'INTP', perchance? INTPs have these constant internal battles. We're good at concentrating and love working in the realm of ideas. However, we're often an impractical lot and procrastination is pretty rampant among the other INTPs I know. The biggest problem, I think, is that we just really suck at perceiving the passage of time, and the daydreaming, writing, or discussion of ideas is often r…

I managed to overcome the slacker lifestyle. However, this was forced upon me. I found myself without a home for a short while, then living with two roommates who were 10 years older than me. They were mildly dysfunctional slackers, and much worse off than myself. I think having a visceral reminder of what could be your future is a pretty solid motivator.

Re: Have you ever been successful in changing your personality?

#37
If you're anything like me, I hope I can explain to you what's that and how to fix it.

I started digging into Rails and writing my first project with it while working on my dayjob. At this time I was still taking bass guitar classes and spending my last year at the university. Having all this things at once did not allow me to work on each one of them long and hard enough. Which led to procrastination. Which led to general unhappiness.

Then I decided to eliminate the less important things one by one. I quit the bass guitar lessons, then graduated from the university, then quit my job. Finally, I only had my Rails project on my mind. One thing. I became extremely productive and felt happier. Of course, later I had to look for another job (which I also quit), but I knew this was going to be temporary and I'm working on my new project again now.

I'm actually 23 and I imagine things are a bit different for a 30 y.o., probably with a family and responsibilities. But it seems to me that the real reason for procrastination is not being a lazy jackass. In fact, lazyjackiness is a reaction for trying to do too much things at a time and not thinking about the real priority, which is going to make you happy both in the short and long run.

So my advice to you: find a way to concentrate on this one most important thing for now, by all means find this way.

Re: Have you ever been successful in changing your personality?

#38
post #11

Maybe you can't decide on which "creative" type of work to do. One day you want to write iPhone apps, the next day you want to play prog guitar, the next you want to learn lisp, ad infinitum. You can't do that. You have to decide on one thing and concentrate. Make it your bitch. Practice it well for 20,000 hours. I can't stress this enough, you have to commit to one thing. If you can't do that, you'll continue to bac…

yes that is definitely one of my problems, not sure how many grand plans I have made in the last 10 years where I wanted to do 5 different things at the same time and all have failed almost even before I began

Re: Have you ever been successful in changing your personality?

#39
I'm a procrastinator, but that didn't stop me learning guitar or becoming a writer. I can easily write around 2,000 a day, just because I want to write, but that didn't come without a lot of effort.

As a procrastinator you'll never have the motivation to do something creative unless you force yourself to do it. I've wanted to be a writer since before I can remember, I was writing stories at 10 years old that were about as talented as a large bowel movement.

I'm now 21, I successfully procrastinated myself through highschool, college and into immigrating to another country. I'm forcibly unemployed (I don't want to jeopardise my immigration as I'm moving for QoL not money, UK->Canada) which gives me ample opportunity to procrastinate, but I quickly put an end to that.

I spent several months writing at every opportunity possible. When my wife naps, I'm on the computer writing. When I'm home alone, I'm writing. When I'm on the train I'm thinking through the next few paragraphs, I'm having arguments between characters in my head.

My advice for doing something creative, you've got to devote every free second you have to the task. Any work breaks, especially lunch breaks, the daily commute (either read a book on the train/bus or listen to an audiobook if you drive) . . . when you've done what you planned then you can procrastenate.

I've done my quota for the day, that's why I'm wasting time on HN and not working. I've always been lazy and I've never let it stop me from doing something I wanted to do.

It's entirely your choice if you do something creative or not, but to change who you are you've got to live the new life before it'll become you.

Re: Have you ever been successful in changing your personality?

#40
Maybe, instead of struggling against yourself, why not try to figure out what you really want. I don't mean what you believe you should want, based on your talents, but what you actually want. Perhaps what you really desire, you think is wrong or out of reach, so you focus on things that you believe can be done, but eventually doesn't fullfill your soul. But above all, don't despair, because you're not alone in these quest, and it's not an easy one.

Best wishes!

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