Ask HN: Why did this post cost me 10% of subscribers?

If people enjoyed their work that much, they wouldn't probably need you to advise them to do it. For someone who's struggling with their work life balance, it's far from clear that 'Work more!' is the answer to their happiness.

I know that, before I started only seriously coding a few hours a day and taking three day weekends, and spending the rest of the time on less focused stuff like meetings and planning and mentoring our newbies (favourite work-related activity), I basically had to take a long break from working every couple of years just to recuperate; get my mental ducks in a line, do some stuff that has nothing to do with work. Something I worry that you may not realise is that, for some people, focus and creativity are finite resources.

What fuels those resources? Well, it seems to vary. Among other things, I enjoy swimming, reading fan-fiction of varying quality, and martial arts. I don't think I could function as a programmer if I didn't do those things.

There was a time - back with the open-plan office coincidentally - when I didn't. When I was just getting into programming and it was all work work work. Sure, I'll pull the weekend, sure I'll help with this. I just wanted to make people happy.

Eventually I noticed I was tired all the time, and my creativity and all the fun ideas I used to have just weren't there for me any more. I even stopped dreaming, and feeling emotionally connected to people. Not in a metaphorical sense, I was just so mentally knackered that I went to sleep and woke up in the morning with the impression no time had passed and not even a fleeting image of what I'd been dreaming. People would smile at me and it didn't make me feel happy any more.

Would the answer for me really have been to work more?

Your advice may be very good for some people, but in so far as you don't know everyone, it's probably a bit risky in terms of how people are going to respond to tell everyone to do it.

Would I have unsubscribed? No, not if I found what you were saying in other respects worthwhile - I understand that you probably just want to help people and that's a nice thing, so I'd go with the benefit of the doubt rather than the content of the post. (Like when someone wishes me Merry Christmas - so what if I'm not a Christian? They want me to be happy, so Merry Christmas too!) But not everyone's going to see it like that, and writing it as more like, "What I've found make me happy at the moment." Potentially offers less that someone might take offence to if it's harder to read it as a statement about how you think they should live their lives. ^_^

You say you just got in a relationship. If you want it to work - choose the relationship more than you choose work. I know from experience, because I used to have a similar mentality. It goes something like this:

If I want to have the most fulfilling life possible, I should make "progress" every day. I feel as though I have the capability and drive to be the best, so I have the responsibility to be the best. If I'm not working, there is someone else out there who is working, and that means I'm "wasting time". Relaxing = being lazy.

Those people who just socialize and play video games? How can they not see how much time they are wasting on a meaningless life! Everyone should spend their time doing things that are "productive" to better their skillset. Otherwise, they are lazy and unmotivated.

Simply put- this is being a workaholic. Through college, I was the same way, and it cost me a lot of missed opportunities. The most dangerous workaholic is one who thinks that it's healthy and good for them.

Don't get me wrong - be motivated, enjoy what you do, etc. But have balance. I was fortunate enough to meet my (now wife) who showed me that it's ok to take a break. It's not "being unproductive" or "wasting time" - it's building a relationship. It's ok (and often necessary) to drop everything and spend time focused on making the relationship better.

In your post, you mentioned Mr. Walton. Let's briefly talk about him. While I don't know if the source is true (ref. needed), Consider this post [1] that talks about his last words: "I blew it". While it's my opinion, I strongly believe you can make a bigger impact in this world through the relationships you build as opposed to the work you do.

So, it's great that you're motivated and driven - it means you'll be good at whatever you do. But don't think poorly of those who do things differently, and put their efforts into different outlets. It doesn't mean they're somehow less productive of a person than you. In fact, I would recommend working to break away from the workaholic mentality. Just like forcing yourself to get a good night's sleep, it will be tough at first, and you will feel like your "being unproductive", but it will make your relationship - and your life - much better.

[1] http://upstart.bizjournals.com/resources/executive-forum/201...

I'm sure that Daniel Flopes (who I don't know) is a nice guy, and my quick reading of one blog post do not do him justice. However, the beginning of this article really does (to me) almost read like a parody.

Looking back at the original article, we do (eventually) get to the point where we get to "take a break" and have hobbies and holidays, but the start doesn't say that, and I would have stopped before I got to that point. We then however get into an article about how one person (Sam Walton) we are told (with no reference) worked every day, and became very successful. There are (of course) plenty of people who became successful without never talking to their families, and plenty of people who worked themselves into an early grave.

The other problem with this blog post is that it is written in a strange style, saying (for example) "Forget the idea about how much fun others are getting in the Caribbean Islands. You choosed work. Your life is work.". I'm not clear why the author of this blog thinks I chose work, why my life is work? I think this is an issue of the wrong tense being used, or an unusual writing style, but I get unhappy when I am being told false statements about my life.